


ahogayism

by derflohwalzer



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Dangan Ronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc
Genre: Autistic Kuwata Leon, Bisexual Ishimaru Kiyotaka, Chatting & Messaging, Demisexual Ishimaru Kiyotaka, F/F, Finally, Gay Owada Mondo, Gay Togami Byakuya, Gen, Idiots in Love, Lesbian Kirigiri Kyoko, Like, M/M, Nonbinary Fujisaki Chihiro, Nonbinary Genocider Syo | Genocide Jack, Nonbinary Ikusaba Mukuro, Other, Stimming, Trans Celestia Ludenberg, Trans Naegi Makoto, alternatively titled - messing with mondo's life: a thread, but kiyotaka calls him monchan, byakuya is a karen, byakuya isnt a heartless asshole, can u tell which song is my fave, cant believe that isnt a tag, cute teens in love (and yasuhiro), daiya cant ride his bike bc of his injury so mondo is still the leader, daiya didnt die he just suffered an injury, he shall be demi bc i hc it and bc fuck u, hiro's just there to watch and cheer his homies on, i also added an oc from online so, i lied about ishimondo being stupid, if you do anger him run, ishimaru has pretty eyes, ishimondo are stupid, its not mentioned yet but it will be soon, kids with issues and alcohol, leon can definitely throw it back, leon has asd, leon isnt a sex offending perv, let chihiro swear, long sigh this is gonna be a ride, man thh tags bouta make me act up, might throw in some references to this fuckshit salad, mondo has a heart of gold, mondo is ticklish, mondo's nickname is strawberry mon mon, my character seems sweet but if you anger him he will destroy you, my oc is in a chapter but theyre not very prominent other than pushing the plot along, naegami are big dumber, naegi and chihiro are not innocent, naegi can probably throw it back, ooc as heck, petition to make that an official tag, prom dress photoshoots, sakura's only personality trait isnt protecting hina, see that girllll watch and seeeee dig in the dancing queeeeeeeeen, soudam is mentioned, that injury isnt mentioned yet, that wasnt a tag either?? shook, theyre not dating, theyre super dumb, u can dance u can jive having the time of ur liiiiife, young and sweeet only seventeeeeeen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-25
Updated: 2020-10-14
Packaged: 2021-03-06 19:21:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 27
Words: 34,473
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26104099
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/derflohwalzer/pseuds/derflohwalzer
Summary: an-actual-thug:second, not everyone is herefine-line:pardon? everyone’s here.an-actual-thug:junko isnt herefine-line:like i said, everyone’s here.aka taka is also a crackhead and byakuya is a softie but only to makoto
Relationships: Asahina Aoi/Ogami Sakura, Fujisaki Chihiro & Ishimaru Kiyotaka & Owada Mondo, Fukawa Touko/Naegi Komaru, Hagakure Yasuhiro & Ishimaru Kiyotaka, Hagakure Yasuhiro/Owada Daiya, Ikusaba Mukuro/Maizono Sayaka, Ishimaru Kiyotaka/Oowada Mondo, Kirigiri Kyoko & Togami Byakuya, Kirigiri Kyoko/Celestia Ludenberg, Kiyondo Ishida & Genocider Syo | Genocide Jack, Kuwata Leon & Naegi Makoto, Kuwata Leon & Oowada Mondo, Kuwata Leon/Original Character(s), Kuzuryu Fuyuhiko/Soda Kazuichi, Naegi Komaru & Naegi Makoto, Naegi Makoto/Togami Byakuya, Past Nidai Nekomaru/Owari Akane
Comments: 419
Kudos: 536





	1. just did a bad thing

**Author's Note:**

> mistakes. thats it.

should i post my danganronpa chatfic here?

ive got 81 pages of it all in font size 11 and i have nowhere to dump it in case the doc goes missing

should i post it here, yes or no

edit: lol i am


	2. yah yeet (the guide)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> yes daiya is alive yes taka's name is based off the song harry styles wrote when he was high no im not letting go of na-egg-i jokes theyre funny fuck you

#  _guide !!_

**makoto** \- poached-or-fried

 **kyoko** \- blues-clues

 **mondo** \- an-actual-thug

 **kiyotaka** \- fine-line

 **aoi** \- bruhh-girl

 **sakura** \- flower-thats-it

 **celeste** \- tornado-hair

 **byakuya** \- the-monopoly-man

 **yasuhiro** \- a-homeless-pothead

 **leon** \- haha-balls

 **toko** \- haha-tongue-go-brrr

 **chihiro** \- im-in

 **hifumi** \- uwus-unironically

 **sayaka** \- walmart-vocaloid

 **komaru** \- hard-boiled

 **daiya** \- chaotic-horny

-

♣ - chat switch

☁ - timeskip

♠ - chat to lit (and vice versa)

♦ - chapter end

♥ - lit pov switch


	3. a-homeless-pothead: wjats a dryg

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> makoto created a monster

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> first chapter :D
> 
> im so sorry for what ur ab to read, its not too late to turn back (wait pls dont go ily)

_ [ _ **_makoto naegi_ ** _ has created a new chat!] _

_ [ _ **_makoto naegi_ ** _ has added  _ **_kyoko kirigiri_ ** _ ,  _ **_byakuya togami_ ** _ , and 11 others!] _

**makoto naegi:** hey you guys!! i made a chat so we can all talk easier!

**byakuya togami:** a horrible decision, really.

**byakuya togami:** wait...why can i not type in capitals?

**chihiro fujisaki:** byakuya no one wants to hear u type like a 40-year old mom

_ [ _ **_byakuya togami_ ** _ has left the chat!] _

**celestia ludenberg:** a great start.

☁

**leon kuwata:** so did we all just collectively ignore this new chat or

**makoto naegi:** im trying to figure out whic nicknames to put for u guys so i closed the chat temporarily so u guys wouldnt flood the chat with memes and conspiracy theories by the time i finally decided on them

**leon kuwata:** oh

**leon kuwata:** so give us the nicknames then?

**makoto naegi:** give me a sec

_ [ _ **_makoto naegi_ ** _ has added  _ **_byakuya togami_ ** _ to the chat!] _

_ [ _ **_makoto naegi_ ** _ has changed 15 nicknames!] _

**haha-balls:** i hate that this is so true

**poached-or-fried:** glad to know u can acknowledge that

**the-monopoly-man:** makoto what in the actual hell is this nickname

**poached-or-fried:** hey kuya

**flower-thats-it:** hm.

**poached-or-fried:** sakura i know that particular hum whats wrong

**flower-thats-it:** nothing. just confused about my nickname.

**poached-or-fried:** sakura. sakura blossom. blossom. flower.

**poached-or-fried:** idk i couldnt think of anything

**flower-thats-it:** i see. i like it. thanks.

**poached-or-fried:** :) !!

**tornado-hair:** i suppose my name is...acceptable.

**blues-clues:** as is mine. i don’t see the resemblance, but the rhyme is pleasant.

**poached-or-fried:** yay!!

**a-homeless-pothead:** hey guys :)

**blues-clues:** hello, yasuhiro.

**a-homeless-pothead:** how did u know it was me :00

**blues-clues:** it’s pretty obvious.

**a-homeless-pothead:** oh ok :)

**uwus-unironically:** its not wrong ,,

**im-in:** ok the thing is ive never said this

**bruhh-girl:** wait hackers dont say that? (nice nickname thanks makoto)

**poached-or-fried:** (yw hina)

**im-in:** idk ive just never had anyone to tell that im in

**im-in** : so ive never said it

**walmart-vocaloid** : that is the saddest thing ive heard since tuesday

**haha-balls** : what happened on tuesday?

**walmart-vocaloid** : i got a free taco from that one place down the street but when i went back to the dorms i tripped and spilled my free taco on the ground before i could eat it

**haha-balls** : oh my god thats so sad

**a-homeless-pothead** : rip maizonos taco

**im-in** : creating a virtual tribute to ur mourned taco rn

**bruhh-girl** : saddest story of the century sdkjfds

**the-monopoly-man** : you’re all idiots.

**haha-balls** : ok monopoly man

☁

**haha-tongue-go-brrr** : and thats the summary of my upcoming story

**a-homeless-pothead** : toko what you cant just leave it at that

**haha-tongue-go-brrr** : sorry yasuhiro i dont do spoilers :/

**a-homeless-pothead** : ugh meanie >:(

**fine-line** : hello everyone! it’s me, kiyotaka ishimaru! this chat is a great idea, makoto, and i think it will help us all come together as friends in our curricular journeys!

**fine-line** : also, makoto. what does my name mean?

**poached-or-fried** : uh

**poached-or-fried** : its bc ,, bc youre the one who divides the fine line between what is allowed and what isnt for us! youre the rule enforcer and the moral compass, so i figured it was appropriate!

**fine-line** : i see! well, i’m honored to have such an upstanding nickname! thank you!

**poached-or-fried** : haha yeah anytime

♣

**kuya** : the username was because that one american artist wrote it when he was on mushrooms wasnt it

**mako** : shh

♣

**an-actual-thug** : yo whats this

**fine-line** : ah, hello kyodai! this is a group chat with everyone in our class! makoto organized it so we could all form stronger bonds!

**an-actual-thug** : okay first off ,, thats cool

**an-actual-thug** : second, not everyone is here

**fine-line** : pardon? everyone’s here.

**an-actual-thug** : junko isnt here

**fine-line** : like i said, everyone’s here.

**an-actual-thug** : ur the boss taka

**an-actual-thug** : third: what in actual hell is my nickname

**poached-or-fried** : pls dont hurt me

**an-actual-thug** : ugh

**an-actual-thug** : ok last comment

**an-actual-thug** : taka ur name sjfhdsisjf

**fine-line** : ah, i see you have noticed my nickname as well! makoto chose it for me and i love it! it’s very high in my books.

**an-actual-thug** : dkshfds

**haha-balls** : im gonna tell him

**an-actual-thug** : you will not

**haha-balls** : i will not

**walmart-vocaloid** : simp

**haha-balls** : im sorry i only simp for one (1) man and he is not mondo

**haha-balls** : no offense mondo

**an-actual-thug** : its cool dude

**fine-line** : i’m sorry, but what does ‘simp’ mean? i’m not familiar with the term.

**an-actual-thug** : ,,

**haha-balls** : aight imma head out

**im-in** : nobody tell him

**a-homeless-pothead** : im telling him

**tornado-hair** : do not.

**a-homeless-pothead** : suddenly i will not

**bruhh-girl** : vaguely threatened rn

**tornado-hair** : as you should be.

**flower-thats-it** : hey.

**tornado-hair** : suddenly i am no longer threatening asahina

**flower-thats-it** : as you shouldn’t be.

**fine-line** : someone tell me where i can find someone who would defend me like this.

**im-in** : eye-

**haha-balls** : im gonna say it

**an-actual-thug** : dont say it

**haha-balls** : fine but only bc i wanna see if u will ever get the balls to do it urself

**fine-line** : do what, kyodai? (language, kuwata.)

**an-actual-thug** : nothin man dw about it

**fine-line** : alright then, i trust you mondo :)

♣

**hiro** : you knew what it meant didnt you

**taka** : duh

**hiro** : when are you gonna tell them you’re actually a crackhead

**taka** : i think i’ll let them live with false information for the time being ;)

**hiro** : :00 scandalous

♣

**the-monopoly-man** : as appalling as it is to watch a select few of you be so oblivious it hurts, i would much rather discuss something a little more interesting.

**flower-thats-it** : and what would that be?

**the-monopoly-man** : the fact that ishimaru indirectly said ‘need me a freak like that’.

**haha-balls** : i- omgs he did dskjfkl

**an-actual-thug** : oh my god

**im-in** : so its callout hours now

**bruhh-girl** : wait wait wait

**bruhh-girl** : byakuya how do u know what that means

**the-monopoly-man** : makoto’s choices of phrase, per se, have affected me via osmosis.

**bruhh-girl** : oh that makes sense :)

♣

**mako** : so when are you gonna tell them youre actually a crackhead

**kuya** : ill let them stow for now

**mako** : you, sir, are evil

**kuya** : you love me anyway

**mako** : yeah yeah

♣

**a-homeless-pothead** : did anyon else feel that chilluing air of deja vu n the air just nw

**haha-balls** : nah man

**poached-or-fried** : uh ,, no

**haha-tongue-go-brrr** : no..

**im-in** : nope

**walmart-vocaloid** : i don’t think so??

**the-monopoly-man** : no.

**tornado-hair** : i did not. are you feeling well, hagakure?

**an-actual-thug** : bro r u high

**a-homeless-pothead** : yknow wjat i thonk i am

**an-actual-thug** : yeah thats it

**fine-line** : by high, you mean you’ve been doing drugs, right?

**a-homeless-pothead** : wjats a dryg

**fine-line** : sigh.

♣

**taka** : room for one more?

**hiro** : get over here bro

**taka** : nice

**taka** : four hundred twenty blaze it, as they say

**hiro** : sniff they grow up so fast

♣

**an-actual-thug** : hey taka what are you doing in hagakure’s room

**fine-line** : what

**an-actual-thug** : i saw u walk into hiro’s room with a grin. whats got u so excited

**fine-line** : wait im in hiros room

**fine-line** : thought i was in mine fr

**fine-line** : thats wack man

**haha-balls** : dude what happened

**fine-line** : what

**haha-balls** : ive never heard u use no punctuation and ive never heard u say ‘fr’

**haha-balls** : ive def never heard u say ‘wack’ before 

**fine-line** : idk what ur talking abbhfclids

**haha-balls** : woah what happened

**an-actual-thug** : im omw rn

**a-homeless-pothead** : bruhh relax

**a-homeless-pothead** : ur homies in good hands dw

**a-homeless-pothead** : were just tryna vibe u feel me

**an-actual-thug** : hm if u say so

**an-actual-thug** : i trust u wont hurt him

**a-homeless-pothead** : nah bro im a real one

**a-homeless-pothead** : i wouldnt hurt him lol

**an-actual-thug** : aight thanks bro :)

**a-homeless-pothead** : anytime homie :)

**the-monopoly-man** : what the hell did i just read

**im-in** : oh my god taka got high

**walmart-vocaloid** : what

**an-actual-thug** : scratch that im omw

**a-homeless-pothead** : wait mondo chill

**a-homeless-pothead** : taka’s fine hes just loopy

**an-actual-thug** : doesnt matter

**an-actual-thug** : u let taka touch the drugs

**an-actual-thug** : so now i must snap ur neck like a golf pencil

**fine-line** : wait bro chikll

**fine-line** : im fimne i just tripped onto his bef

**an-actual-thug** : bro r u actually high

**fine-line** : am i what

**an-actual-thug** : high

**fine-line** : well hello there

**an-actual-thug** : oh my god you guys hes high

**fine-line** : nah im hello

**im-in** : omgs ur right

**im-in** : someone screen record this rn

**haha-balls** : been recording since taka went over to hiros

**im-in** : nice

**haha-tongue-go-brrr** : can someone get high with me like that

**the-monopoly-man** : no.

**haha-tongue-go-brrr** : wasnt talking ab u dummy

**the-monopoly-man** : ok good

**an-actual-thug** : taka r u sure ur alright

**fine-line** : yeah im fine

**fine-line** : no need to worry kyodai hiro’s got my back

**an-actual-thug** : alright then, ill leave u guys to it

**a-homeless-pothead** : wait bro u should come over

**an-actual-thug** : why

**a-homeless-pothead** : im boutta give taka a piercing

**an-actual-thug** : oh no u dont u stinky homeless druggie

**a-homeless-pothead** : ksjdbf so wounded 

**fine-line** : monchan ,, apologize >:(

**an-actual-thug** : ,, sorry or whatever

**a-homeless-pothead** : its cool homie

**haha-balls** : skjhfk monchan??

**an-actual-thug** : i want you to know i mean it from the bottom of my heart when i say shut up

**haha-balls** : hm no

**fine-line** : hey

**fine-line** : monchan

**fine-line** : moooooooonchaaaaaaaan

**an-actual-thug** : what is it taka

**fine-line** : do the

**fine-line** : do the thing

**fine-line** : call me what u called me last week

**fine-line** : pls

**haha-balls** : woah there is this getting a bit inappro-pro?

**fine-line** : nahh its all good

**fine-line** : monchan monchan do it do it do itttttt

**an-actual-thug** : ,, ugh

**an-actual-thug** : ,,

**an-actual-thug** : ,, sunshine ishichan

**an-actual-thug** : happy?

**fine-line** : :) !!!!!! yes!!!!!!!!

**poached-or-fried** : sunshine- sunshine ,, sunshine ishichan ,,, skjfhkskflskaf

**walmart-vocaloid** : gee the sun’s so bright todaiuyfiu sdufb

**bruhh-girl** : thats so cute ohmygod dskfhk;sa

**haha-balls** : broo omgs thats- i- skdjhfkdfk

**an-actual-thug** : s h u t u r u p

**im-in** : screenshotted and saved skdfhjsdfh

**fine-line** : thank u monchan ♥

**an-actual-thug** : tch whatever

♣

**mondo** : he sent a heart what does this mean

**leon** : r u dumb

♣

**mako** : hey kuyachan

**kuya** : im thinking of one

**mako** : how did u know i was gonna ask that

**kuya** : im ur closest companion i know u

**mako** : u can say best friend u know

**kuya** : ,, fine

**kuya** : ur my ,, my best ,, my best friend

**mako** : :)

**kuya** : dont get used to it cocoa puff

**mako** : is that

**mako** : is that ur nickname for me

**kuya** : its ,, the best i could think of

**kuya** : it’s completely fine if its not to ur standards

**mako** : r u kidding me

**mako** : i love it omgs call me that again pls

**kuya** : ,, cocoa puff?

♣

**walmart-vocaloid** : makoto stop squealing i can hear u from my bathroom

**poached-or-fried** : im sorryyyyiudshfdshf

**haha-balls** : wait fr whats going on naegi im concerned

**poached-or-fried** : nothing dw kshfkh

**walmart-vocaloid** : ah its that keysmash

**walmart-vocaloid** : u need to talk ab it?

**poached-or-fried** : nah girlie its all good im fine

**walmart-vocaloid** : im always here babes

**poached-or-fried** : ik thank u

**flower-thats-it** : babes?

**walmart-vocaloid** : friendly nickname

**flower-thats-it** : i see

**a-homeless-pothead** : wait speaking of doesnt kyoko have a crush on makoto

**poached-or-fried** : what

**the-monopoly-man** : what

**haha-balls** : how did i not know this

**blues-clues** : im a lesbian

**tornado-hair** : she is indeed a lesbian.

**a-homeless-pothead** : oh rad

**a-homeless-pothead** : forgot u were dating celeste for a sec msorry

**blues-clues** : its fine dont worry

**im-in** : who in gods holy name is blasting the floreyyyy remix to put ur head on my shoulder i cant hear myself think

**a-homeless-pothead** : me

**a-homeless-pothead** : taka likes to listen to it when hes high

**an-actual-thug** : r u implying hes gotten high before

**a-homeless-pothead** : yes

**fine-line** : hes right i have

**an-actual-thug** : how did i not know this

**fine-line** : i only started at the beginning of the semester so its only been like what. a month since i started

**an-actual-thug** : oh wow ok

**an-actual-thug** : what are u on rn

**fine-line** : im on regular ol marijuana rn

**fine-line** : its my go to for stress so

**an-actual-thug** : ah ok

**an-actual-thug** : room for one more?

**fine-line** : bro get over here

**a-homeless-pothead** : oh my god yeah u should come over here

**a-homeless-pothead** : taka brought his bluetooth speakers and we’re playing musikc u should listen to when ur high

**a-homeless-pothead** : its great

**an-actual-thug** : omw rn

**haha-balls** : what did i just read

**blues-clues** : with them, i’ve learned not to question it.

**walmart-vocaloid** : god thats a mood

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> taco thing was based off that one vine i forgot what it was called
> 
> i promise future chapters will be better


	4. blues-clues: how can one man be so confident and angry and self-absorbed yet so dumb

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> stupid kids

**haha-tongue-go-brrr** : ooh whats this?? a groupchat with all my bestest friends??

**haha-balls** : what

**haha-tongue-go-brrr** : love your nickname, leelee!!! anywho, its genocider syo here!!!!! i took lame ol toko’s phone and found this nifty little chat!!!!!!

**a-homeless-pothead** : oh hey syo

**haha-tongue-go-brrr** : hey yassie!!!! its been a while!!!!!!!!!!

**bruhh-girl** : you guys are friends??

**haha-tongue-go-brrr** : we sure are, tits mcgee!!!!!

**bruhh-girl** : ok that attempt at a nickname was just sad

**the-monopoly-man** : what are you doing here syo

**haha-tongue-go-brrr** : oh hey richie rich!!! i came here looking for my gf??

**the-monopoly-man** : your what

**walmart-vocaloid** : your what now

**haha-balls** : someone wanted to date u???

**poached-or-fried** : ,, sigh

**poached-or-fried** : let me add her

**haha-tongue-go-brrr** : yay!!!!!!!!

**tornado-hair** : makoto, you know who toko/syo’s girlfriend is?

**poached-or-fried** : sadly i have a very close relation to her gf, yes

_[_ **_poached-or-fried_ ** _has added_ **_komaru naegi_ ** _to the chat!]_

**komaru naegi:** um

_[_ **_poached-or-fried_ ** _has changed_ **_komaru naegi_ ** _’s nickname!]_

**poached-or-fried** : not a word

**hard-boiled** : i will not say anything about that thing u told me that one time solely because this nickname is golden

**haha-tongue-go-brrr** : um hi guys its toko again what did i miss

**hard-boiled** : :) !!!!! tokobaby!!!!!

**haha-tongue-go-brrr** : komahoney :)d

**hard-boiled** : <3333

**haha-tongue-go-brrr** : ♥♥♥

**haha-balls** : aw yall cute

**blues-clues** : it seems the naegis have a type.

**hard-boiled** : what would that be?? (love ur nickname btw)

**blues-clues** : (thank you.) mean, but in the way that makes it so you can’t help but want to protect them with every fiber of your being.

**poached-or-fried** : sounds about right

**hard-boiled** : toko isnt mean but shes blunt ab a lot of things

**haha-tongue-go-brrr** : i can be mean babe dont try to pull that

**a-homeless-pothead** : wait so makoto likes someone thats mean but he wants to protect them a lot?

**poached-or-fried** : you will now be shutting up please

**bruhh-girl** : hey ur right!! who do we know thats mean but he protects them?

**poached-or-fried** : hina no

**an-actual-thug** : hm i can list some people

**poached-or-fried** : you too mondo?? man bully makoto hours fr

**fine-line** : what are you waiting for kyodai? list them!!

**walmart-vocaloid** : hey that reminds me

**walmart-vocaloid** : what happened when u three got high yesterday

**an-actual-thug** : i honestly have no clue i knocked my head on the wall and blacked out after a couple rounds

**an-actual-thug** : the last thing i remember was taka singing to that one conan gray song

**an-actual-thug** : i think its called like. heather or something

**an-actual-thug** : cant remember how it went but taka’s voice was nice. really got the waterworks started

**walmart-vocaloid** : ,,

**haha-balls** : thats it im leaving

**im-in** : i hate it here

**hard-boiled** : idk who u are but i have to say. ur pretty dumb

**an-actual-thug** : hey >:(

**poached-or-fried** : shes right mondo

**poached-or-fried** : u are kinda dumb

**haha-tongue-go-brrr** : i hate it here

**haha-tongue-go-brrr** : komahoney’s presence is the only thing keeping me from leaving rn

**blues-clues** : how can one man be so confident and angry and self-absorbed yet so stupid

**the-monopoly-man** : it seems that all the mass in mondo’s body has gone to his physical form. there seems to be nothing rattling in that thick skull of his.

**fine-line** : you guys dont be mean

**fine-line** : mondo was just out of it he didnt know what i meant by that

**an-actual-thug** : kyodai is there something im not seeing here?? what r yall talking ab

**an-actual-thug** : im not dumb am i

**fine-line** : i mean. u could be doing better academically but i wouldnt say ur dumb when it comes to this

**an-actual-thug** : thanks bro

**fine-line** : :)

**poached-or-fried** : awe yall cute

**fine-line** : oh we’re not dating haha

**an-actual-thug** : yeah nah we’re just homies

**poached-or-fried** : still. ur dynamic is cute.

**fine-line** : oh thanks makoto :)

**hard-boiled** : hey makoto

**poached-or-fried** : oh my god do not say it

**hard-boiled** : i can think of someone youd want that dynamic with ;)

**poached-or-fried** : if any of you find my annoying sister dead tonight no you didnt

**haha-tongue-go-brrr** : lay a hand on my gf and i will no longer be an ex serial killerr

**the-monopoly-man** : do not touch makoto or i will make sure your life is destroyed in 28 different methods

**haha-tongue-go-brrr** : a fair price to pay for my gf’s sake

**the-monopoly-man** : you wont be saying that when you end up as scissor puree

♣

**mako** : so do we just let them argue or

**koma** : yeah that sounds good

**mako** : kuya is so sweet, hes like the protective best friend i never had

**koma** : oh my god ur so dumb

♣

**haha-tongue-go-brrr** : id like to see u carrying out ur threats when i have ur fingers chopped up and tossed into my salad

**the-monopoly-man** : tough talk for someone who settled for the lesser naegi sibling

**haha-tongue-go-brrr** : are you saying i shouldve gone for plain, average, talentless, kinda ugly makoto? (no offense mako)

**the-monopoly-man** : do not talk about cocoa puff like that. you will regret it.

**haha-tongue-go-brrr** : ,,

**poached-or-fried** : ,, kuya ,,

**bruhh-girl** : ,,

**haha-balls** : ,,

**an-actual-thug** : ,,

**walmart-vocaloid** : ,,

**the-monopoly-man** : what now?

**the-monopoly-man** : ,,

**the-monopoly-man** : ,, wait-

**poached-or-fried** : kuya ,, u called me cocoa puff !! in the main gc !!

**the-monopoly-man** : rest assured, it was an honest mistake on my part.

**poached-or-fried** : oh :(

**the-monopoly-man** : ,, that’s only if you want to look at it that way, i suppose ,,

**poached-or-fried** : oh !! :)

**hard-boiled** : we’re witnessing history you guys

**haha-balls** : the day has come when we get a peek of soft byakuya

**a-homeless-pothead** : lmao get absolutely rekt

**haha-tongue-go-brrr** : awe cute nickname togami

**walmart-vocaloid** : are they dating or??

**bruhh-girl** : wait yeah!! are u guys dating spill the tea

**the-monopoly-man** : we are not engaged romantically.

**poached-or-fried** : oh nono its just a nickname he decided to give me theres no romance haha

**tornado-hair** : i have been waiting for this moment, when i reveal my true colors.

**tornado-hair** : ,,

**tornado-hair** : i smell cap.

**blues-clues** : babe not you too

**tornado-hair** : sorry dear, the world had to know

**a-homeless-pothead** : i knew it

**haha-balls** : one of us one of us

**uwus-unironically** : finally, the prophecy is being fulfilled ,,, nyehehe~

**tornado-hair** : oh blech i forgot you were here

**poached-or-fried** : wait hifumi before celeste inevitably mutes u i have a question

**uwus-unironically** : how may i be of assistance, mr naegi?

**poached-or-fried** : whats this prophecy?

**uwus-unironically** : im afraid to say that i cannot yet reveal the secrets. however, if you must know and don’t wish to purchase the answers from me (in the form of doujins, of course), then i can say that it involves you and one of the rather ,, uptight ultimates.

**uwus-unironically** : now, lady celestia. because i have revealed the hints, you may mute me.

**tornado-hair** : gladly

_[_ **_tornado-hair_ ** _has muted_ **_uwus-unironically_ ** _for 24 hours!]_

**poached-or-fried** : guys who was he talking ab? whos uptight here??

**an-actual-thug** : this dumb mf

☁

**bruhh-girl** : hey makoto i forgot to ask earlier but

**poached-or-fried** : yeah??

**bruhh-girl** : if byakuya calls you ‘cocoa puff’ (which is super cute, btw), what do you call him?

**poached-or-fried** : oh! im still deciding on a nickname, but i usually call him things like kuya or kuyachan!

**walmart-vocaloid** : call him something sweet like bunny or babes!!

**haha-balls** : call him daddy

**tornado-hair** : two types of people

**poached-or-fried** : hm

**haha-balls** : wait are u actually considering calling him daddy

**poached-or-fried** : what no

♣

~~**kuya** : dammit i was so close~~

**leon** : wait what

**leon** : byakuya dont just leave it at that

**leon** : byakuya i swear to god

_[_ **_byakuya togami_ ** _has deleted one (1) message!]_

**leon** : wait byakuya i didnt get to ss it resend it now

**kuya:** no one will ever believe you

**leon:** byakuya what in the goddamn

_[this user is currently unavailable.]_

leon: byakuya what the hell

_[this user is currently unavailable.]_

♣

**haha-balls:** feelin super attacked rn :(

**a-homeless-pothead:** what happened homie

**haha-balls:** well u see-

**poached-or-fried** : wait ive got it!!!

**bruhh-girl** : woah what whos dying whats happening

**poached-or-fried** : i have a nickname for kuya now!!!

**bruhh-girl** : spill honee!!!

**the-monopoly-man** : yes, please do tell.

**poached-or-fried** : i picked this one bc ur sour on the outside and sweet on the inside, so how does lemon drop sound?

**the-monopoly-man** : ,,

♣

**kuya** : hes so cute help what do i do ksdgbvkdhf

**kyoko** : wait you’re asking me?

**kyoko** : i asked celeste out in the bathroom of a haberdashery you shouldnt be asking me

**kuya** : i know i know but s t i l l

**kuya** : you know him well right?

**kuya** : what should i say jsbfj

**kyoko** : just go with what you would say. makoto appreciates genuinity and words from the heart.

**kuya** : ok ok

♣

**poached-or-fried** : do u ,, not like it? 

**poached-or-fried** : if u dont i can pick a different one its nbd

**the-monopoly-man** : i suppose it is ,, desirable. thank you

**poached-or-fried** : :) !!! anytime lemon drop !!

**the-monopoly-man** : yeah yeah

♣

**kuya** : hes so cute i skjfhdshlf

**kyoko** : sigh this is why im a lesbian


	5. an-actual-thug: this was a bad idea

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> daiya struts into the chat and screws mondo's whole life up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> did i mention i love a good kirikuya friendship bc i love me some good ol kirikuya friendship

**fine-line** : and that is why marijuana should be available in schools

**poached-or-fried** : what

**fine-line** : my apologies, wrong chat

**haha-balls** : nono, continue

**an-actual-thug** : yo leave him alone it was a mistake hes fine

**hard-boiled** : woah there calm down tiger

**hard-boiled** : it was an honest mistake but he never expressed any discomfort with sending it to the chat

**an-actual-thug** : whatever

**fine-line** : i appreciate ur willingness to help me kyodai :)

**an-actual-thug** : yeah yeah, what are bros for

♣

**mondo** : daiya help how do i ask a homie out

**daiya** : what

**mondo** : u heard me

**daiya** : man idk i asked michi out in an alleyway behind an arbys dont ask me

**mondo** : shoot ur right

**daiya** : add me to the chat u have with ur friends ill give u some pointers

**daiya** : also its that taka boy u introduced to us isnt it

**mondo** : not a word

♣

**an-actual-thug** : hey makoto someone asked to be added can i add them

**poached-or-fried** : as long as its not junko, headmaster monokuma, or any of my parents

**an-actual-thug** : great

_ [ _ **_an-actual-thug_ ** _ has added  _ **_daiya owada_ ** _ to the chat!] _

**daiya owada** : mondo ur nickname dksjhfkudh

**an-actual-thug** : shut ur trap daiya

**bruhh-girl** : ooh new person!!! whos this, mondo??

**an-actual-thug** : this is daiya, my stinky annoying older brother

_ [ _ **_daiya owada_ ** _ has changed their nickname!] _

**chaotic-horny** : i am not stinky or annoying shut up mondo

**chaotic-horny** : i will have u know that i am a pleasure to be around and i always smell slightly of peaches

**an-actual-thug** : if ur talking ab a horse’s ‘peach’ then yeah i can believe that

**chaotic-horny** : ugh shut up

**an-actual-thug:** awe daiya angy

**chaotic-horny:** unbanger

**chaotic-horny** : anyway 

**chaotic-horny:** i was called here on a mission to set my brother up with a certain someone in this hellchat

**chaotic-horny** : but we can get to that later

**chaotic-horny:** on another note

**chaotic-horny** : which one of you is taka

**fine-line** : hey daiya

**chaotic-horny** : love ur name

**chaotic-horny** : anyway i have a few things to tell you about mondo so head to dms now

**an-actual-thug** : this was a bad idea

♣

**daiya** : you have three categories to choose from - funny stories from when he was a kid, embarrassing secrets, and things he secretly likes that nobody knows about but me

**taka** : can i have a few morsels from each category?

**daiya** : anything for my brother from another mother

**daiya** : anyway which one first

**taka:** i’ll have to choose the first one. i’d like to go in order

**daiya** : okay so when he was little i was teaching him how to cook and i told him that he was really young, so he couldnt use the stove

**daiya** : then i told him that if the stove was on, he was not allowed to touch the top of it

**daiya** : and the dumb five year old with a sorry attempt at a mohawk went ‘like this?’ and slapped his hand right on top of it

**daiya** : it took two weeks to heal

**taka** : i am heavily torn between laughing super hard and feeling super sorry for my kyodai

**daiya** : the first one is the right answer

**daiya** : anyways lets move on to embarrassing secrets

**daiya** : did you know that about three years ago he had an emo phase that lasted for two and a half years

**daiya** : he used up all the eyeliner he got and dyed his hair pitch black with red streaks

**daiya** : he spent all his money on death metal cds and dark makeup

**taka** : pictures or it didnt happen

**daiya** :  _ [7 attachments] _

**taka** : if i saved those to my phone no i didnt

**daiya** : a mood

**daiya** : anyway last category

**daiya** : something he liked to do but didnt tell anyone about was doodling on his wrist and the cuffs of his pants

**daiya** : he came home one time with stars and sparkles all over his jeans and his arms

**daiya** : they were all in bright pink gel pen because he forgot his pen at home and had to borrow a pen from this girl he sat next to

**daiya** : _ [2 attachments] _

**taka** : also definitely not saved to my phone

**daiya** : lol anyways thats what ive got on him off the top of my head

**taka** : hold on let me repay you

**taka** : theres something i know about him that i dont think you do since it was recently discovered

**daiya** : oh? spill

**taka** : if you poke him just under his left ribcage with your fingertip at the stomach, he’ll make a squeaking noise

**daiya** : wait really??

**daiya** : i gotta try this tf how did i not know this

**taka** : he told me not to tell but i figured itd be okay since ur his brother

**daiya** : yeah its okay

**daiya** : anyways the boys are calling me so i gotta head out, gl with ur boy toy ;)

**taka** : please, im begging u, shut up

**daiya** : hehe <3

♣

**fine-line** : i learned a lot of new things today

**an-actual-thug** : oh dear god what did he tell you

**fine-line** : thats for me to know and you to find out

**an-actual-thug** : daiya i hate you

**chaotic-horny** : lyt little bro

**an-actual-thug** : no i genuinely despise you from the bottom of my heart

**an-actual-thug** : i may respect you but that doesnt mean i dont hate u

**chaotic-horny** : whatever you say strawberry mon mon ♥

_ [ _ **_chaotic-horny_ ** _ has left the chat!] _

**im-in** : pro gamer move

**fine-line** : ,, strawberry mon mon??

**an-actual-thug** : iusdhgfu he promised not to talk about it >:000

**fine-line** : nonono i wanna call u that please

**an-actual-thug** : taka u know ur my best bro, my homie, my kyodai, my ride or die

**an-actual-thug** : but if you call me strawberry mon mon i might just die of embarrassment

**fine-line** : oh ok :) thats ok i dont wanna make u uncomfortable

**an-actual-thug** : thanks bro

**fine-line** : anytime bro

**walmart-vocaloid** : idiots the lot of them

**an-actual-thug** : tough talk for someone who’s dating junko’s sister

**walmart-vocaloid** : shut up mukuro is a goddess and i love her very much

**flower-thats-it** : apologies if im being intrusive, but why is she not in the chat?

**poached-or-fried** : oh she told me she didnt want to be added bc she didnt have much to say so itd be awkward if she was in here :))

**flower-thats-it** : i see.

**hard-boiled** : man so many romances in this class

**poached-or-fried** : i know what ur gonna say

**hard-boiled** : it would be ten times better if ,, just maybe ,,

**poached-or-fried** : ho dont do it

**hard-boiled** : ,, if maybe ,, my brother maybe kinda ,, asked his crush out

**poached-or-fried** : oh my god

**the-monopoly-man** : makoto ,, you have romantic feelings for someone?

**poached-or-fried** : yeah!! i think they only see me as a friend tho :(( but that doesnt mean i wont keep trying to win their heart!!

**the-monopoly-man** : ,, i see.

**the-monopoly-man** : i have some work i need to take care of, i’ll be back later. goodbye.

**poached-or-fried** : oh ok!! bye bye lemon drop :)

**haha-balls** : how are you so dumb

♣

**kyoko** : do you need me to come over?

**kuya** : ,, yes, please.

**kyoko** : i’ll bring an extra blanket.

**kuya** : thank you, kyoko.

**kyoko** : of course, byakuya.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> suddenly i kin daiya


	6. haha-balls: anyways i kin tigger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> we're talkin nostalgic cartoon kinnies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw // minor anxiety attack
> 
> byakuya kins scrooge mcduck thats it
> 
> also i am all the way here for trans makoto

**poached-or-fried:** has anyone seen kuya today? he wasnt in class and i havent seen him since yesterday when we had a movie night

**haha-balls:** the audacity

**poached-or-fried:** r u talking ab him or me

**haha-balls:** oh my god

**walmart-vocaloid:** makoto you know i love u with all my being but sometimes ur just so stupid

**poached-or-fried:** hey!! >:(

**fine-line:** while i do not condone this kind of talk as it can be offensive and even triggering, makoto ur pretty oblivious ngl

**poached-or-fried:** aw taka not u too

**bruhh-girl:** im not calling you dumb, just kind of clueless

**poached-or-fried:** well its kind of an upgrade but still :((

**flower-thats-it:** you’re not dumb, makoto. you’re just...ignorant.

**blues-clues:** makoto oh my god

**tornado-hair:** an interesting turn of events. but yeah makoto you are pretty oblivious sometimes

**an-actual-thug:** the little man’s not dumb but this just might be an exception

**im-in:** makotos not dumb u guys

**im-in:** hes just inexperienced be quiet

**poached-or-fried:** you guys ,,

**the-monopoly-man:** he’s not dumb. stop calling him that.

**poached-or-fried:** kuya ur back !! but dw about it, theyre right

**poached-or-fried:** im still in the dark, so ig it kinda proves their claims of me being dumb

**poached-or-fried:** sorry for not really getting this

**the-monopoly-man:** hey theres no need to apologize makoto, theyre just being mean

**the-monopoly-man:** this is a situation not many people understand, so its completely normal to be in the dark yourself

**the-monopoly-man:** i myself dont understand it, so that says something, does it not?

**the-monopoly-man:** now, all of you, apologize immediately for being so cruel.

**walmart-vocaloid:** oh my god you guys ,,

**the-monopoly-man:** this had better be good.

**walmart-vocaloid:** byakuya i dont have ur number so i couldnt tell u this in priv, but i can hear makoto crying in his room

**walmart-vocaloid:** its like really bad i can hear him sobbing from my desk

**the-monopoly-man:** ,, dammit

**the-monopoly-man:** im going to him. if anyone tries to follow me or continue belittling makoto, i will see to it that you no longer have limbs.

**bruhh-girl:** ohmygod im so sorry makoto!! i didnt mean to hurt you i was just trying to make a joke D:

**haha-balls:** shoot sorry man, i didnt realize i hurt you that bad, thats on me

**an-actual-thug:** sorry, makoto, i didn’t mean to make you cry ,,

**fine-line:** oh my gosh, i’m so sorry! i did not mean to offend you or make you upset!

**walmart-vocaloid:** mako im so sorry for what i said !! if u wanna talk my dms are open, ily :((

**im-in:** im sorry if what i said hurt you makoto :((

**flower-thats-it:** my deepest apologies for hurting you, makoto. i should not have said those things. i will try my best to learn from my mistake.

**tornado-hair:** my sincerest apologies, makoto.

**blues-clues:** im sorry makoto, i didnt mean to offend you :((

**the-monopoly-man:** i am currently with makoto. he spiralled into a minor anxiety attack and is slowly recovering but wanted me to let you all know that he forgives you all and that it is alright.

**haha-balls:** thx man, sorry again for what i said

**walmart-vocaloid:** were sorry mako !!!

♠

despite byakuya’s warmth as he cradled the brunette up to his chest, makoto still felt shivers wracking through his body like a tremor as he cried into byakuya’s shirt.

" i just - i don’t know why they would call me that . . . i know i’m being super oversensitive, but it hurts ! kuya, it hurts . . . "

" shh , i know , " byakuya soothed as he ran his fingers comfortingly through makoto’s hair, not caring about the tears bleeding through his shirt and leaving damp spots on his skin. " it’s okay , it wasn’t your fault . it’s their fault for being so insensitive . you have every right to be upset . "

" kuya . . . " the brunette mumbled, and his next words, despite not looking like it, squeezed painfully at byakuya’s heart.

" you weren’t in class today , and . . . and you’ve been ignoring me since last night . . . was all of this because of something i did ? "

byakuya pulled away just slightly, the noise of shock welling in his throat and yet not quite leaving his lips. makoto apparently took this the wrong way, gripping tightly and desperately onto the white cotton sleeves of byakuya’s shirt.

" kuya , please . . . please don’t go . i . . . i can’t lose you too . . . " his voice was raw with agony and emotion, and byakuya felt the squeezing at his heart begin to tighten as he listened to makoto’s panic-induced rambles, trying to comfort him out of it.

" hey , hey , shh , it’s okay . i’m not going anywhere , makoto , " he whispered softly, an uncharacteristic gentleness to his voice and demeanor as he tried to soothe the messily quivering brunette. " everything’s going to be okay . "

" kuya . . . " makoto whispered, coddling himself into byakuya’s chest. the blonde allowed it, holding the smaller male close as he used one hand to wrap a warm blanket around the two of them. 

" shh, it’s okay . you’re safe now , okay ? " he whispered gently, running his long fingers through makoto’s fluffy hair.

" okay . . . thank you , lemon drop , " makoto murmured against byakuya’s chest. " you’re the best friend anyone could ask for . . . "

the term hurt byakuya’s heart in a way he’d never felt before, but he shoved it aside. makoto was his priority, and his feelings could wait until makoto was smiling again.

" of course , cocoa puff . i’ll always be here for you . "

♠

**poached-or-fried:** hey guys

**walmart-vocaloid:** mako!!! im so so sorry for what i said, i didnt know it hurt you that much!!

**fine-line:** on behalf of everyone here, we apologize deeply for our cruel words! please forgive us, makoto!!

**bruhh-girl:** yeah, what he said!! we’re so sorry makoto :((

**flower-thats-it:** indeed. we had no malicious intent, but our words were still not allowed. our deepest apologies.

**an-actual-thug:** yeah. sorry, makoto.

**haha-balls:** sorry man, we didn’t mean it. we were just joking, but we were still being jerks. sorry.

**poached-or-fried:** you guys its fine im fine

**poached-or-fried:** kuya helped me through my attack so im fine

**walmart-vocaloid:** thats good!!

**bruhh-girl:** thats so sweet of him!!

**haha-balls:** ok now that all of the important people are here, i have a poll for yall

**hard-boiled:** spill

**a-homeless-pothead:** yes spill

**haha-balls:** if u kinned/were a cartoon character from any cartoon that you loved as a kid, who would the character be

**poached-or-fried:** ooh

**poached-or-fried:** i think id be timmy from the fairly odd parents

**haha-balls:** explain

**poached-or-fried:** painfully boring and average yet somehow finds himself in the most dangerous and unusual situations

**walmart-vocaloid:** id be ty lee from atla

**walmart-vocaloid:** she is a beautiful goddess not of this world and i too am a beautiful goddess not of this world

**walmart-vocaloid:** you foolish mortals could never perceive my true form

**haha-balls:** valid but also ok gundham tanaka

**walmart-vocaloid:** blocked

**bruhh-girl:** i think id be blossom from powerpuff girls

**bruhh-girl:** she is cute and i am also cute and we both are tired of our other female companions' crap

**bruhh-girl:** except for sakura she is an angel im love she

**flower-thats-it:** feelings are wholly reciprocated, dear.

**flower-thats-it:** id be allura from voltron

**flower-thats-it:** i dont like talking about the show but allura looks like me and is a magic alien princess who’s over a thousand years old and honestly if that isnt life goals

**haha-balls:** valid

**a-homeless-pothead:** id be akila from cleopatra in space

**walmart-vocaloid:** omg queen

**haha-balls:** the alien girl right?? explain

**a-homeless-pothead:** im a chaotic idiot but the kind thats lovable

**haha-balls:** i mean ur not wrong

**fine-line:** i would be yugi from yugioh

**haha-balls:** explain

**fine-line:** idk i just vibe with him

**haha-balls:** thats fair

♣

**hiro:** is it because of kiyondo

**taka:** yeah

**hiro:** my lips are sealed

**taka:** hopefully not with ur disgusting hamburger chapstick

**hiro:** hey man >:(

♣

**an-actual-thug:** id be squidward

**an-actual-thug:** confident, gay, and full of anger

**haha-balls:** god a mood

**a-homeless-pothead:** holy crap ur gay??

**im-in:** sdhfjsd

**walmart-vocaloid:** oh my god hiro you cant just ask someone that

**an-actual-thug:** i am, you got a problem with that?

**a-homeless-pothead** : what no

**a-homeless-pothead:** i was just making sure i heard correctly

**a-homeless-pothead:** i mean id be a hypocrite if i was homophobic

**an-actual-thug:** oh my god hes one of us

**im-in:** one of us

**poached-or-fried:** one of us

**bruhh-girl:** one of us

**walmart-vocaloid:** one of us

**hard-boiled:** one of us

**fine-line:** one of us

**poached-or-fried:** wait u too taka??

**fine-line:** yes!! i find myself identifying as what is commonly known as ‘bisexual’

**walmart-vocaloid:** oh my god yes bi king

**bruhh-girl:** thats completely valid taka !!

**poached-or-fried:** wait can everyone say their sexual orientations + gender identities real quick? just so none of us say anything offensive or mess up

**poached-or-fried:** im pan + demi, he/they (am trans) :)

**fine-line:** please excuse my ignorance, but could you explain what those terms mean? except for trans, i think i have a basic understanding of the meaning of that

**poached-or-fried:** nah its completely fine dude! pan is when i dont care about the gender identity, i just care about the person’s personality (and also if they’re in the same age range as me) 

**poached-or-fried:** and demi is when i only date people ive gotten close to and that i trust

**fine-line:** i see! so if i only wanted to date people who i have formed close bonds with, i would be demi?

**poached-or-fried:** thats basically it yeah

**walmart-vocaloid:** bi with a preference for ladies, she/her

**bruhh-girl:** pan she/her. thats it

**an-actual-thug:** gay, he/him

**fine-line:** bi, demi, and he/him!

**blues-clues:** sapphic, she/they. i do not wish to date degenerate males

**tornado-hair:** god u sound like that one third year. tenko?? idk her name

**tornado-hair:** she/her, bisexual, trans girl

**haha-balls:** all of u are so valid

**haha-balls:** he/him, bi with no preference. just ppl. yall cute

**haha-tongue-go-brrr:** pan, she/they, and syo is they/them

**a-homeless-pothead:** uh idk if i should call myself gay bc im they/them (he/him is fine so if thats easier for u then use that but i prefer they/them), but uh. guys. dudes. thats it

**im-in:** a whole mood. also yay nb buddies :)

**im-in:** i too am a pan

**a-homeless-pothead:** nb buddies :)

**walmart-vocaloid:** also mukuro is sapphic, they/them

**the-monopoly-man:** i am gay. my pronouns are he/him.

**hard-boiled:** byakuya ur so valid but also stop typing like a stuck up karen

**hard-boiled:** she/her pan

**flower-thats-it:** sapphic, she/they

**poached-or-fried:** all of u guys are so valid and taka if u had to deal with homophobia at home i will be throwing hands

**fine-line:** thank you makoto!! my parents never really cared about my sexual identity but i could tell they never really approved, its alright though i dont live with them anymore

**poached-or-fried:** thats good :)

**poached-or-fried:** now back to the poll

**haha-tongue-go-brrr:** uhh i think id be ,, idk?? raven from teen titans?? not the cartoon remake ew

**haha-tongue-go-brrr:** syo would probably be double trouble from spop because tongue and backstabber

**haha-balls:** valid

**blues-clues:** i would be blue from blues clues because detective and also dog

**tornado-hair:** banger

**tornado-hair:** azula from atla bc shes hot and im hot

**blues-clues:** that is correct

**the-monopoly-man:** ,,

**the-monopoly-man:** i suppose i would be scrooge mcduck

**bruhh-girl:** wait omg that fits so well

**poached-or-fried:** completely valid kuya

**hard-boiled:** i would be adora from spop

**haha-balls:** explain

**hard-boiled:** protag, clueless, gay, and completely oblivious to social cues

**haha-tongue-go-brrr:** thats true

**haha-tongue-go-brrr:** it took two months of flirting for her to finally realize i liked her

**hard-boiled:** shut

**haha-balls:** anyways i kin tigger

**poached-or-fried:** explain

**haha-balls:** adhd and orange

**poached-or-fried:** completely valid

**fine-line:** oh that reminds me! leon have you taken your meds yet

**haha-balls:** ,,

**fine-line:** leon.

**haha-balls:** suddenly i have to go fry my ice xoxo bye <3

**fine-line:** leon take your meds or istg i will make you

**haha-balls:** kinky

**fine-line:** shut up we know im not into you

**fine-line:** but in all seriousness, take ur meds pls

**fine-line:** that also goes out to anyone in the chat who needs to take meds or _stop binding_

**an-actual-thug:** ugh whatever

**poached-or-fried:** fine but only bc its starting to get a bit painful

**bruhh-girl:** okay :)

**tornado-hair:** ok

**haha-tongue-go-brrr:** already did but thank u for being considerate

**fine-line:** of course!! i care about all of you and want the best for you guys, so please take care of yourselves!!

♣ 

**mondo:** ohj my god hes so cute

**daiya:** sigh

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> poll: who's ur professionally diagnosed nostalgic cartoon character kinnie


	7. haha-balls: oh my god you two are dumb

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a little bit of angst and some dumbass gays

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> mondo is big dumby

**poached-or-fried:** hey did you guys hear about what happened with the second years??

**haha-balls:** no?? makoto i think ur the only one here who has connections to the other years

**bruhh-girl:** but spill whats hip hop happenin

**poached-or-fried** : so do you guys know those two second years who look like they walked out of party city

**poached-or-fried** : the ultimate mechanic and the ultimate yakuza boss

**haha-balls** : oh i know the mechanic, we hang out sometimes!! kazuichi soda right?

**poached-or-fried** : yeah

**an-actual-thug** : the yakuza boss is cool ig, fuyuhiko kuzuryu?

**poached-or-fried** : yeah its those two

**poached-or-fried** : so anyway i was hanging out with hajime from the reserve course

**poached-or-fried** : and we turn the corner and those two are trying to flirt

**poached-or-fried** : and keep in mind, these two have no clue how to flirt

**poached-or-fried** : soda is a dummy because he doesnt think before he acts. like at all

**poached-or-fried** : and hiko isnt good with social stuff bc yakuza, so obviously he would have trouble flirting

**poached-or-fried** : so hiko, glancing away and loosening his tie, looks away n goes 'i ,, like ur name'

**poached-or-fried** : and soda, whos trying to flirt back but is super dumb when it comes to hiko, goes 'i- uh- thanks, i uh- got it for my birthday'

**poached-or-fried** : hajime and i looked at each other and had to run to the end of the hall before we could start laughing

**poached-or-fried** : im still laughing

**haha-balls:** im gonna cry those two idiots lmao

**bruhh-girl:** how can two men from a year above us be so painfully stupid

**hard-boiled:** kinda reminds me of two boys from our class, huh little bro?

**haha-tongue-go-brrr:** noooow, who does _that_ sound like, huh tick tock??

**hard-boiled:** :) brainwave

**haha-tongue-go-brrr:** brainwave!!

**fine-line:** oh hey syo

**haha-tongue-go-brrr:** hey tick tock!!!!!!

**fine-line:** also syo please dont bring that up hes in the chat

**haha-tongue-go-brrr:** ugh fiiiiiiiine!!!!!! but only because i wanna see you man up!!!!

**an-actual-thug:** kyodai do u wanna ask someone out?? im not good with asking ppl out bc i tend to yell when i get nervous, but ill try and help if u want ,, i guess

**fine-line:** ah, theres no need for that kyodai!! i believe the person in question is a lot closer to you than you may first presume, so rest assured there will be no trouble with it if i try it myself

**an-actual-thug:** oh i know the person?? maybe i could set u guys up haha

**haha-balls:** oh my god you two are dumb

♣

**mondo:** he likes someone else and its someone i know and i just skjdhfk

**daiya:** bro are you blind

**mondo:** you know damn well im not

**daiya:** then how can you not see the signs

**mondo:** what signs

**daiya:** nvm u probably wouldnt get it anyway

**mondo:** no tell me

**mondo:** ill try to compute i swear

**daiya:** dude

**daiya:** you happen to know the person he likes, he only ever accepts physical contact with you, he kept your jacket for two weeks straight

**daiya:** dude he freaking calls you monchan

**daiya:** its pretty obvious he likes u

**mondo:** i

**mondo:** ur serious?

**daiya:** mondo, i wouldnt lie to you about this. i have receipts, but im not going to expose them for taka’s sake

**daiya:** i can say with certainty that he does have feelings for you

**mondo:** i need some time

**mondo:** im gonna talk to him about this

**daiya:** yess go get ur mans

**mondo:** stfu

♣

**mondo:** kyodai, i need to talk to you. can you meet me in my room as soon as possible, please?

**taka:** oh of course!! anything for my kyodai

**taka:** if i may inquire, what’s the occasion?

**mondo:** you’ll see.

♠

taka hummed happily to himself as he walked to mondo’s room, wondering what he wanted to talk about. a new movie they could watch for movie night, perhaps? or maybe it was a new recipe that mondo had found stored away and wanted to try with taka. 

_that would be fun,_ he mused as he walked. _although i must remind him to stay away from the oven if that is the case, haha._

then he stopped.

what if what mondo wanted to talk to him about was...a bit more serious? 

what if they were moving…? no, daiya would have let him know, seeing as he was still the leader.

what if he wanted to tell him about a lover he had? no, he would have been a bit more...elated in his text.

a look of horror dawned on taka’s face as he stopped dead in his tracks, right in front of mondo’s door.

...what if he wanted to tell taka that he didn’t want to be friends anymore?

it would make sense. taka was uptight, a stickler for the rules, very bad socially, was always studying, and had secrets that he hadn’t even told daiya.

mondo, on the other hand, was a free spirit, a kindled flame that sparked and lit up the night. as carefree and reckless as an eagle, soaring across the sky and streaking through clouds. 

taka was a snake, bound to the ground and forced to watch from afar.

shoving that rather questionable train of thought aside, he lifted his hand and rapped his knuckles on the doorframe twice.

immediately, just a bit quickly, the doorknob rattled and he was suddenly met face to face with a very flushed mondo. his cheeks and composure looked like he had either run a full marathon with weights strapped to his ankles or he was coming down with a nasty cold. knowing mondo’s streak of daring and adventure, it could’ve easily been both.

" kyodai ! come in , come in , " mondo smiled nervously, opening the door to let taka walk in, albeit rather hesitantly. okay, he was still calling taka ‘kyodai’, so that was a good sign! maybe mondo just wanted someone to take care of him because he might’ve had a cold!

" what did you need , mondo ? " taka asked gently once he was inside and they were both sitting on the edge of the bed.

" i need your help . " mondo’s voice was soft and to the point, and taka found his heart melting and soaring at the same time.

" of course , mondo ! what did you need help with ? " he asked, face bright and heart fluttering.

" i wanna ask someone out . "

and just like that, taka’s face dimmed, his heart sunk like a lead weight in the ocean, and he felt his eyes begin to sting. however, he couldn’t bother mondo with his problems when mondo himself had a problem he needed to work out.

" o - oh , of course , kyodai ! " taka forced a smile onto his face, although it didn’t quite reach his eyes. as he cursed himself for stumbling over his words, he hoped that mondo didn’t notice the sad glisten in his eyes. " i would be more than happy to assist you in your romantic endeavors ! however , we must start with the basics . what is this person like ? this way , we can deduce how they’d most likely want to be courted . "

at the inquiry, mondo tipped his head back, a giddy smile on his face as he let out a light laugh, as if taka had just told a funny joke. 

_most likely thinking about the person he’s so enamored with…_ taka thought bitterly, scolding himself for thinking that way.

" oh man , how do i start ? they’re so strict and i don’t think they could break the law if their life depended on it , but they’re just so . . . so passionate and assertive , and - and they care so much about those around them . . . i don’t know how to describe it . "

he then tilted his head to look at taka, who was trying to keep his carefully crafted smile on his face.

" i don’t know , man . how about , uh . . . how about you tell me how you’d like to be asked out yourself ? it’s a start . "

taka blinked. well, that could be a starting point for deciding how mondo should court this special person.

" i . . . honestly haven’t really thought too much about it . i guess i’d just want them to be direct and straightforward , i don’t like it when people hesitate too much , " he mused, pressing a finger to his lips contemplatively. " and . . . i don’t know , i guess i’d want to be in an environment where i know i’m safe ? like , i know they’re not going to whip out a weapon and brutally murder me or something . "

" that does make sense , " mondo nodded, humming as he appeared lost in thought about it. " how else ? i wanna make sure i don't mess it up . they remind me of you , ya know . if i wanna ask 'em out right , i gotta make sure i'm doing it correct . they seem like they've got some pretty high standards , based on what i've heard . "

" hm . . . " taka mused, racking his brain for anything useful he could offer his kyodai. " i guess . . . maybe they'd like romantic gestures that aren't too over the top ? you said they're like me . . . and if i were talking about myself , i'd definitely say that i like something small . perhaps a cluster of their favorite flowers would be desirable . "

" that sounds perfect . i'll try and work up the courage to tell them , then i'll go and get those flowers and sweep 'em off their feet ! " mondo said, slowly getting pumped up. taka could only offer a slight smile that didn't quite reach his eyes.

" of course . i'll be rooting for you , mondo . "

and as he bode his kyodai farewell and left the room to let mondo bask in his newfound excitement, he finally let the tears and his fake smile slip as he pulled out his phone with shaking hands, unlocking it and messaging the one person he could trust to comfort him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ishimondo will be next chapter ;)


	8. [ 🖂 → one (1) new message ]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> taka and mondo figure some things out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [ junko voice ] we have been waiting!!!
> 
> the short-awaited ishimondo chapter!! will they get together? will they end up as just friends?? we'll see!!

_ [ 🖂 → taks ☀ ] _

_ [ message : hey. i could really use someone right now. dorms in five? ] _

yasuhiro hagakure’s day had been going smoothly, normally, as was any usual day.

however, the message they had been sent at 3:51 (exactly one minute and twenty two seconds ago) had proven this day to be an unusual one.

it was from taka.

now, they'd forseen taka walking into mondo’s room through their crystal ball not too long ago, and while they hadn’t thought anything of the vision, there was a pulling in their gut that told them this would be one of the thirty percent of their visions that were correct.

and now, now that taka had sent them such a blunt and worrying message, they definitely knew something had happened. so here they were, holding a softly sniffling taka to their chest while the rain pattered on the window, drowning out the soft music they had playing in the background.

" taks . . . can you tell me what happened ? " hiro asked softly, running their hands through taka’s dishevelled hair. they quietly noted that it had gotten a bit longer than his usual buzz cut.

" he . . . mondo , he . . . " taka mumbled into hiro’s clothes, voice shaky and cracking as he tried to form words. " he asked me for help . . . "

hiro cocked an eyebrow. that didn’t seem like something that could get taka to cry, but the fact that taka  _ was _ crying proved that it must have been something that hurt the ravenette on a personal level.

" help with what ? " hiro asked as taka took in deep inhales through his nose to calm himself. hiro quietly recalled that their clothing smelled of lavender and jasmine.

" he asked for help . . . with asking out someone . "

that made hiro stop dead in their tracks.

" woah woah woah , so you’re telling me your  _ crush _ asked you for help with asking someone out ? "

taka flinched.

" don’t remind me . . . "

" sorry , " hiro winced, still trying to process what taka had said. " but . . . shoot , man , that’s such a bad move . . . i’m so sorry . ”

" don’t be , " taka muttered as he leaned his head onto hiro’s chest and clutched tightly at the hem of the taller student's shirt. 

hiro quietly remembered that the shirt they were wearing was taka’s comfort shirt, the one that felt good in taka’s grip when he clutched it.

" i was a fool to think my feelings could be reciprocated by  _ him _ of all people , " taka continued softly, voice sounding more and more defeated with every quivering word that forced its way out of taka’s throat. " he’s so . . . so  _ great _ , so carefree and bright , and i’m nothing like him . . . does that make me bad ? "

" taks , that does not make you bad at all . if anything , it means that you are your own person and you’re not afraid to let your true colors show , " hiro said softly as they held taka close, the shorter male leaning into the touch gratefully. hiro quietly recalled that taka would desperately crave affection and physical contact a lot.

" you are completely valid and have every right to cry it out . it’s going to be okay , i promise . "

and as those words were uttered, taka’s body slowly began to relax as he leaned against hiro’s chest, obviously a bit tired from all the crying.

" hiro . . . thank you . you’re the best friend and comfort corner anyone could ask for , " taka smiled weakly, his lips no longer quivering as much as they were before. hiro quietly remembered that when taka was upset or about to cry, his bottom lip would tremble and he’d always try to hide it by biting on his lip so hard it could draw blood.

" anytime , taks . now , do you need anything? should i go get a snack or - "

they were interrupted by a ping from taka’s phone. he lifted his head and woke up his phone screen, reading the notification on his lock screen. taka’s face went from soft and peaceful to downright bitter.

" what is it , taks ? "

" him . "

" oh my god . "

taka turned his phone around, the brightness low enough that hiro didn’t flinch from the screen, but bright enough that they could read the messages.

_ [ 🖂 → mondo ♥ ] _

_ [ message: hey, something happened. can you meet me in the garden in twenty minutes? i could really use your company right now… ] _

_ [ oh, and wear something nice. please. i know im demanding a lot but after we talk id like to maybe go somewhere with you. ] _

" jesus . "

" should i go ? " taka asked quietly, setting down his phone. " i’m still a bit bitter , but it’s not his fault . it’s not like he  _ knew _ i liked him . . . and besides , he’s my kyodai . i should be there for him , regardless of my heartache . "

hiro paused. they briefly recalled how taka was always there for others, regardless of how he was feeling in that moment. he could’ve been on his knees bleeding out and he would have still tried to bandage a paper cut for another student if he could.

" i say go for it . who knows ? something good might happen , " hiro shrugged. " but that gives us twenty minutes to make you look presentable . we need you to look good for your kyodai , right ? "

" right , yeah . "

♥

mondo bit his lip nervously as he waited on one of the wooden benches, foot tapping restlessly as he waited for his kyodai to arrive.

he’d taken the liberty of changing out of his trench coat and into a white button up with the sleeves rolled to his elbows and the first two buttons undone (he blatantly refused to tuck it in fears that he would look like he was trying too hard), a pair of nice tight jeans, and some clean sneakers that had been found at his door with the crazy diamond logo and a winking face scrawled in the corner of the shoe box. 

he’d even changed his signature pompadour to a messy dual-toned bun, the shorter strands falling in his face and out of his bun. his eyeliner had been cleaned up and was replaced with minimal lines.

he tried to not make it look like he was trying too hard, but it was pretty clear that he was trying. a lot.

the bouquet of flowers clenched tightly in his right hand still beamed with vibrance and beauty in the sunlight coming from the glass roof, and he hoped that taka would like it. taka mentioned his favorite flowers in the carrd that chihiro had helped him set up, right? pink amaryllises, lavender hydrangeas, lilies of the valley, and white begonias were wrapped neatly in a white tissue paper wrapping that mondo was trying his hardest not to wrinkle too much.

he glanced down to the bouquet. the paper wasn’t as wrinkled as he thought it would have been, but it was still imperfect.

it was too late to go get a different sheet of tissue paper from the store in the school. even if there was time to get new wrappings, he would’ve ended up wrinkling that too, and it would have all been for nigh.

however, he didn’t have time to dwell on that, because the door opened, and in walked none other than the source of his affections, kiyotaka ishimaru.

mondo’s jaw would have dropped to the ground if he didn’t have an ounce of self-control.

because twelve hells, taka looked  _ stunning _ .

his dark hair was brushed back neatly, and yet it was still slightly messy, the way it looked when mondo would ruffle it slightly. the pale man was clad in a black button up, stark black jeans without a rip or blemish secured to his waist with a minimal black belt, nice shoes the color of a clean black chalkboard, and a red tie that was tied neatly, without a single flaw in the knots. to top it all off, on his wrist lay a silver watch that gleamed pristinely in the filtered sunlight.

mondo didn’t have time to feel underdressed as he set the bouquet down on the bench and stood up to greet the shorter male.

“ taka . hi , ” he greeted with a smile. taka returned it as he stood calmly. mondo noticed a slight redness that rimmed his kyodai’s beautiful wine red eyes and swallowed back a hum of worry and a frown. had taka been crying.

“ hello , mondo , ” he smiled. “ did everything go well with your confession ? oh no , they didn’t reject you , did they ? ”

taka’s voice was full of worry, and mondo found it slightly endearing.

“ no , no , there was no rejection yet , ” he assured his friend with a shaky smile. “ actually , uh - i haven’t confessed yet . i’m going to , though ! very soon ! ”

“ that’s wonderful ! ” taka smiled politely. then he noticed the bouquet sitting innocently on the bench, its pastel colors glowing softly in the sunlight. “ oh! is that the bouquet you intend to give to them ? ”

“ uh - yeah , haha , ” mondo nodded, rubbing the back of his neck. “ so , um - ”

mondo’s voice cut off as he took the bouquet in his hands, taking a deep breath and steeling his nerves, ready to face this like a man.

“ you know how i said i was going to give this to them ? ”

“ um - yes , kyodai ? you’ve mentioned it a couple times now . ”

“ well , uh - ” mondo willed himself to not tremble like a coward. it was now or never.

he held the bouquet out to taka in an...aggressive manner.

“ so will you accept it , then ? ”

taka’s face contorted into an expression of clear confusion as his hands raised. “ me ? but . . . why would i need to accept it ? surely i am not the one . . . that you . . . oh . ”

he caught on quick, mondo would give him that. 

he’d done the deed, now it was all down to whether taka would accept.

“ you . . . wish to court me ? ”

“ i - shoot . y - yeah . ”

taka’s body was still, but his eyes flashed with different emotions that mondo couldn’t read fast enough and- were taka’s cheeks burning up?

sure enough, taka was indeed blushing.

“ i . . . never would have expected this . you truly wish to court me ? ”

mondo let out a soft sigh, but it wasn’t one of exasperation. it was rather a sigh of relief, relief at the fact that he hadn’t been rejected immediately.

“ look , taka , i just - god , how do i explain it ? you’re just so . . . so effortlessly  _ incredible _ , and i just - i couldn’t help but fall for it, for  _ you _ . you’re . . . you are everything i never knew i always wanted , ” mondo said, voice subtly cracking with emotion, but at that point, his mind was too fogged to care or even get embarrassed by it. 

“ i - shoot , i don’t even know what that means , exactly , but i think it has something to do with the rest of my life . . . and god , taka , you’re just so unbelievably wonderful and bold and passionate , and i just - i couldn’t help myself . i completely understand if you don’t reciprocate these feelings , but i just - ”

the biker gang leader didn’t have time to finish his sentence.

because taka had leaned up and interrupted him with the pressing of his lips on mondo’s.

the kiss was soft, chaste, sweet. it was tender and so full of love, and it wasn’t desperate in the least despite the two boys’ eagerness at finally getting to do what they had wanted to with each other for so long. taka’s lips, mondo noticed, tasted of honeycrisp apples and chamomile milk tea and summer warmth. they were soft and delicate, and mondo found his heart fluttering like the wings of a hummingbird at the feeling.

mondo’s lips, taka realized, were slightly chapped, but they tasted of sharp cinnamon and salty caramel and the crisp midnight wind and taka was absolutely  _ addicted _ .

bouquet forgotten and placed back on the bench, mondo freed his hands of the flowers in favor of gently pulling taka in by the small of his back, which only deepened the kiss and their contact just that much, and in that moment, everything felt so real, so substantial, so bright and colorful and vibrant.

taka’s hands found themselves pressed against mondo’s toned chest, only pressing closer as taka was pulled in gently, their lips moving amiably against each other like the slow waves of a lazy river. taka found himself standing on his tiptoes to kiss mondo comfortably, and the taller male’s heart went  _ ka-bump _ at the little motion.

it felt like eternities before they pulled away, lips tingling and eyes hazy and bodies feeling like they were made of dripping honey, heavy and slow and yet so sweet and euphoric.

taka felt like his mind was dazed and slow, his brain only able to think of  _ mondo mondo mondo  _ as he gazed into the taller male’s lavender eyes with a look that could only be described as pure, raw, unblemished exhilaration.

mondo felt like he was drifting on cloud nine, his heart stammering in his ribcage as he gazed down at the other, his throat full of stutters and his lips still parted slightly. his mind felt full of cotton candy, clogged up and yet so sweet.

“ that . . . that happened . ”

“ y - yeah , it - uh, it - it did . ”

neither of them could formulate coherent words, much less sentences, so they simply stood there, gazing into each other’s eyes like the orbs held the secrets of life itself.

the silence was comfortable and peaceful and just something taka wanted to relish in. however, when mondo spoke, his words were words that taka was absolutely elated to hear.

“ so . . . i believe i mentioned taking you out somewhere after this . that is , if that was a ‘ yes ‘ to my asking you out ? “

taka, having regained enough sense to actually compute what the other was saying, laughed lightly as he took the bouquet that was sitting on the bench and leaned up, placing a soft little peck on mondo’s cheek.

“ of course it was a yes , you big softie . now let’s go , shall we get some ice cream ? it’s a fairly warm day and i would love to know how you taste with chocolate on your lips . ”

yeah, mondo was definitely on cloud nine.

“ let’s do it . ”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [ clutches heart ] my babies ;▽;


	9. walmart-vocaloid: legs thats it

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> taka and mondo are being boyfriendy and byakuya gets roasted

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> last post of the day i swear
> 
> also super sweet sugar daddy without the sugar byakuya? more likely than u think

**an-actual-thug:** sure seems like a nice day to appreciate your boyfriend ♥

**fine-line:** ♥

**poached-or-fried:** oh my god spill???

**bruhh-girl:** wait what hold on what i

**walmart-vocaloid:** oh thank jesus finally

**a-homeless-pothead:** taka i told u it would go well

**fine-line:** yeah u were right hiro

**flower-thats-it:** you two make such a good couple.

**haha-balls:** oh my god ok its happening everybody stay calm stay calm

**haha-tongue-go-brrr:** stay freaking calm

**tornado-hair:** finally you two grew a brain cell

**blues-clues:** i suspected something when mondo walked into the garden area with a bouquet of flowers and taka was found walking in there about twelve minutes later. i saw them walking out together about five minutes after

**an-actual-thug:** wait babe you took like ten minutes to get ready??

**fine-line:** yeah it didnt take too long

**an-actual-thug:** oh my god how did you clean up so well in ten minutes? it took me like half an hour to make myself look presentable and here u are looking like a whole snack in ten minutes what

**fine-line:** i mean all i did was put on some clothes and a watch its not that much

**an-actual-thug:** sunshine you looked like you belonged on the cover of vogue

**an-actual-thug:** i mean you always do but you looked like. super hot in that moment

**an-actual-thug:** had a hot ceo type beat u feel me

**fine-line:** brb gonna go scream into a pillow thanks a lot sweetheart

**an-actual-thug:** anytime babe ♥

**haha-balls:** wait first i had to deal with their pining and now i have to deal with their boyfriendy stuff?? ew nvm go back to being stupid pining idiots please

**an-actual-thug:** lol nah

**haha-tongue-go-brrr:** ngl theyre cute

**hard-boiled:** happy for u guys!!! whens the wedding??

**fine-line:** oh uh- i have thought about marriage with monchan before but i think im going to wait until we’re older and have good living conditions and financial stability. maybe then we can start discussing betrothal and marriage

**an-actual-thug:** i plan on eloping with him in two weeks

**an-actual-thug:** oh uh that works too heh

**fine-line:** monchan as much as i absolutely adore you i dont think im going to elope, but i admire your enthusiasm and honesty

**an-actual-thug:** aw thanks babe

**the-monopoly-man:** ew affection

**the-monopoly-man:** but congratulations i suppose

**haha-tongue-go-brrr:** byakuya you say that as if you dont wanna have that with a certain student here ;)

**the-monopoly-man:** toko just because we’re friends now doesnt mean you can bully me like this

**haha-tongue-go-brrr:** awe too bad

**blues-clues:** oh is it bullying byakuya hours now?? i have the perfect idea

**tornado-hair:** do tell, my love

**blues-clues:** hold on one moment

_ [ _ **_blues-clues_ ** _ has muted  _ **_the-monopoly-man_ ** _ for thirty (30) minutes!] _

**blues-clues:** summarize your first impression of byakuya in the funniest way possible

**poached-or-fried:** oh thats easy

**poached-or-fried:** angry blond rich kid

**poached-or-fried:** of course my opinion has changed into something much more positive and upstanding but back then that was all that came to my mind when i thought about him

**walmart-vocaloid:** legs thats it

**haha-balls:** looks like hes never seen a cooch before but would gladly eat a twink’s booty if given the chance

**bruhh-girl:** gucci gang

**flower-thats-it:** his little bowtie thing cost more than my funeral budget

**haha-tongue-go-brrr:** potential sugar daddy but was too mean for me

**hard-boiled:** a possible relative

**poached-or-fried:** what

**hard-boiled:** oh nothing ;)

**poached-or-fried:** shut ur mouth

**tornado-hair:** a good investor and possibly a gambling partner

**an-actual-thug:** probably the head of a worldwide criminal organization

**fine-line:** i initially thought of him as someone who was rather arrogant and rude, but had the potential to become someone who was a great person and a wonderful friend!

**a-homeless-pothead:** a meanie but also looking out for ppl ,, in his own way

**blues-clues:** kinda dumb tbh

**haha-balls:** uh you guys

**haha-balls:** chihiro has been typing for a while

**an-actual-thug:** oh no hes gonna do it

**fine-line:** oh dear lord

**haha-balls:** what

**im-in:** byakuya upon anyone even thinking about questioning him when we first met: “what the ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) did you just ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) say about me, you little ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)? i'll have you know i graduated top of my ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) in the ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°), and i've been involved in numerous secret ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) on ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°), and i have over 300 confirmed ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). i am trained in ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) warfare and i'm the top ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) in the entire us armed ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). you are nothing to me but just another ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). i will wipe you the ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) out with precision the ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) of which has never been seen before on this ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°), mark my ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) words. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) think ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) can get away with saying that ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) to me over the ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)? think again, ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). as we speak i am contacting my secret network of ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) across the ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) and your ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) is being ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) right now so you better ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) for the ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°), ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). the ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). you're ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) dead, ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). i can be ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°), anytime, and i can ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) you in over seven hundred ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°), and that's just with my bare ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). not only am i extensively trained in ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) combat, but i have access to the entire ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) of the united states ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) and i will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) off the face of the ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°), you little ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). if only you could have known what unholy retribution your little ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) comment was about to bring down upon ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°), maybe you would have held your ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). but you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). i will ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) fury all over ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) and ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) will ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) in it. you're ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) dead, ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°).

**haha-balls:** oh my god that took up my whole screen and a half what

**blues-clues:** the amount of time it took you to type that indicates that you had it memorized by heart, which is ,, vaguely concerning

**an-actual-thug:** ah there it is

**blues-clues:** alright, i’ll be unmuting byakuya and letting him release his wrath unto you all

_ [ _ **_blues-clues_ ** _ has unmuted  _ **_the-monopoly-man_ ** _!] _

**poached-or-fried:** byakuya before you say anything

**poached-or-fried:** if you say anything mean, triggering, or offensive in any way that could possibly hurt anybody here and ruin the good vibes we have created, we’re not gonna have movie night tonight or for the rest of the semester

**the-monopoly-man:** ,,

**the-monopoly-man:** i ,, suppose that these were ,, accurate, pertaining my behavior at the beginning of our communal school life together

**poached-or-fried:** see, was that so hard?

~~**the-monopoly-man:** you’re lucky you’re cute ~~

**poached-or-fried:** what

**the-monopoly-man:** wait

_ [ _ **_the-monopoly-man_ ** _ has deleted one (1) message!] _

**poached-or-fried:** nonono byakuya dont run away from ur actions like a pussy

**poached-or-fried:** what did u say just then

**poached-or-fried:** did ,, did u call me cute?

**the-monopoly-man:** i would really rather not talk about this in the main group chat

**poached-or-fried:** alright ,, but we’re talking about this in dms

♣

**mako:** what did you mean when you said i was cute?

**kuya:** it is as it says. i find you attractive in the sense of innocence and purity. 

**mako:** is that ,, it?

**kuya:** yes.

**mako:** oh ,, alright then, im sorry for overcomplicating things

**kuya:** its no problem.

♣

**mako:** he said that he just found me attractive and that there was no ulterior meaning :(

**kyoko:** thats fine hun, its a start

**mako:** sigh okay

♣

**haha-balls:** its like getting punched straight in the cooch

**walmart-vocaloid:** oh jesus nvm

**poached-or-fried:** what the hell

**haha-balls:** dont bother reading up its just sayaka and i arguing over what would hurt more; a microphone getting thrown where the sun dont shine or a baseball getting tossed straight to the puss

**poached-or-fried:** isnt it obvious it would be the baseball to the puss

**walmart-vocaloid:** how would u know

**poached-or-fried:** if u dont recall i still have a bussy

**poached-or-fried:** i was laying on the couch once and komaru threw a baseball to the wall bc she was raging and it ricocheted off the wall and hit me square in the no-no spot

**poached-or-fried:** i cried for a total of thirty minutes

**haha-balls:** oh dear lordy

**walmart-vocaloid:** oh my god im so sorry

**bruhh-girl:** i know personally how painful it is to get hit there so im so sorry makoto

**poached-or-fried:** its cool it happened like two years ago my bussy has recovered

**flower-thats-it:** alright, that’s good to hear. if your body ever acts up in a harmful way, just remember that we’re always here for you, and nurse mikan is always on speed dial.

**poached-or-fried:** awe thanks sakura :)

**poached-or-fried:** also i almost forgot to mention but has anyone seen my binder?? i cant seem to find it and its the only one i have and im not in a good financial position to get another one thats decent quality and wont hurt my chest super bad skjfh

**the-monopoly-man:** what’s your binder size

**poached-or-fried:** wait what

**the-monopoly-man:** it would be no burden on me or my financial position to buy you a few binders and anything else you might require for a safe and successful transition

**the-monopoly-man:** if you just need the binders and dont want to go through top surgery or bottom surgery thats understandable too, but whatever you need for a safe transition, i can easily provide

**poached-or-fried:** kuya ,, thats so sweet but i cant accept that sjkbfck

**the-monopoly-man:** nonsense. let me treat you for once. i do have to pay you back after introducing me to broadway musicals.

**poached-or-fried:** ugh fine >:(

**poached-or-fried:** but im gonna be balls deep in debt to you and ill never financially recover

**the-monopoly-man:** we will see.

**haha-tongue-go-brrr:** ominous but i see what ur tryna do there

**hard-boiled:** babe i was just ab to say that :00

**haha-tongue-go-brrr:** omg we are soulmates :00

**hard-boiled:** yeah !! <3

**haha-tongue-go-brrr:** <3

**an-actual-thug:** aw reminds me of us babe

**fine-line:** mondo sweetheart we’ve been dating for like four hours

**an-actual-thug:** it feels like an eternity when im with u <3

**fine-line:** ,, i will admit, i did blush at that. darn you.

**an-actual-thug:** awee u know u love me <3

**fine-line:** indeed i do, sweetheart. <3

**poached-or-fried:** oh my god whats up with all the lovey dovey affection on here today the sweetness in this chat is gonna give me cavities sfklsijf

**the-monopoly-man:** indeed. it is not unpleasant to watch, but rather, i am envious. 

**hard-boiled:** oh my god yall blind

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a new arc will be coming up in a few chapters so stay tuned ;)


	10. an-actual-thug: do i sound like yosemite sam to you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ok listen i promise this is the last one
> 
> mondo says yall and the arc begins

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> let mondo say yall 2k20
> 
> also byakuya is a dumby baby again

**poached-or-fried:** guys do you think mondo is texan

**poached-or-fried:** or is like. part texan

**poached-or-fried:** his accent and habits are something to consider

**walmart-vocaloid:** mako its two in the damn morning

**poached-or-fried:** yeah and im onto something whats ur point

**walmart-vocaloid:** fair

**walmart-vocaloid:** also im intrigued continue

**im-in:** wait im here too i have info

**poached-or-fried:** spill it

**im-in:** i know mondo’s mom was japanese but even though he talked about his dad he never confirmed that he was japanese too

**im-in:** he could be foreigner or he could be japanese or he could be a lot of things

**im-in:** tootsie pop owl commercial

**poached-or-fried:** that combined with his slight accent and his habits could mean his dad was either american or his life has been heavily influenced by western culture

**poached-or-fried:** or there could be another loophole we’re not seeing here

**walmart-vocaloid:** well one of my band members is half american and she said her mom knows a lot of people around

**walmart-vocaloid:** i met her mom and asked if she knew any western people to get inspiration from for like. album covers and songs n stuff

**walmart-vocaloid:** and i wasnt really listening but i think she mentioned an owada in there somewhere

**poached-or-fried:** i was talking with the ultimate designer from the second years, i think his name is myuzu atsumaru

**poached-or-fried:** he said mondo commissioned a bomber jacket from him once for some motorcycle convention he went to

**poached-or-fried:** he also noted that mondo has specifically asked for an influence of western culture on the jacket in terms of its design

**poached-or-fried:** the motorcycle conventions here arent exactly influenced by western culture too much aside from yknow. motorcycles, but the fact that mondo specifically asked for a western-type jacket could say something about his preferences and influence

**im-in:** damn makoto rlly pullin an ace attorney up in here i see how it is

**im-in:** i went to mondo’s place once and he has a bunch of posters of like. american death metal bands and stuff. he also had an american flag in a vase. like, the small ones that you wave on a stick

**walmart-vocaloid:** man this is hurting my head its too early for this deductive-type stuff smh

**poached-or-fried:** ur right

**poached-or-fried:** we dont have good evidence anyway so :/

**im-in:** yeah ur right

**im-in:** lets all just go to bed and continue our search tmr

**walmart-vocaloid:** sounds good, gn u guys

**poached-or-fried:** gn <3

**im-in:** gn :)

☁

**an-actual-thug:** you guys what the hell

**an-actual-thug:** do i sound like yosemite sam to you

**walmart-vocaloid:** yosemite sam is from a western cartoon, which would have no influence here unless you chose willingly to watch and enjoy it

**an-actual-thug:** shoot

**an-actual-thug:** you guys couldve just asked me

**an-actual-thug:** but uh. yeah im part american

**an-actual-thug:** if u have an issue with my being a foreigner then im sorry ab it but if u give me crap ab it im throwing hands sry

**bruhh-girl:** mondo its fine if ur foreigner!! we dont discriminate based on that silly

**bruhh-girl:** i happen to be part hispanic so my skin tans super easy

**an-actual-thug:** :0 r u immigrant or?

**bruhh-girl:** lol nah i was born here

**tornado-hair:** i happen to be part european. my accent will fluctuate constantly, and while it is a pain, i have adapted

**tornado-hair:** and i was, too, an immigrant

**an-actual-thug:** hell yeah immigrant buddies

**poached-or-fried:** you all are super valid and we love u all no matter what

**walmart-vocaloid:** yeah thats super cool!!!

**tornado-hair:** thank you for your assurances

**an-actual-thug:** yeah thanks guys

**bruhh-girl:** thx u guys <33

**haha-balls:** um as much as i love ur guys’ validations

**haha-balls:** theres something we havent discussed

**hard-boiled:** whats that

**haha-balls:** byakuya said makoto introduced him to musicals

**hard-boiled:** oh no

**haha-balls:** makoto are you perhaps

**poached-or-fried:** indeed brother i am

**poached-or-fried:** and you as well?

**im-in:** at last we have united

**fine-line:** i never thought i would see the day

**haha-balls:** the day has come

**im-in:** together we shall reign

**an-actual-thug:** babe im scared whats happening

**fine-line:** i apologize, sweetheart, but the bond that we are forming is far beyond your comprehension

**im-in:** which sad one do u guys ,, u know

**fine-line:** oh kindergarten boyfriend definitely

**an-actual-thug:** what

**poached-or-fried:** words fail

**haha-balls:** its a tough debate between world burn or its quiet uptown

**im-in:** she used to be mine without a doubt

**haha-balls:** so valid omgs

**hard-boiled:** god theres four of them now?

**an-actual-thug:** what is this im confused

**haha-balls:** hush this is just between us

**poached-or-fried:** whats ur guys’ dream roles

**poached-or-fried:** mine is evan hansen or like. jeremy heere

**im-in:** valid

**im-in:** martha dunnstock, phillip hamilton-schuyler, or connor murphy

**haha-balls:** jd if i could ever get a lead

**haha-balls:** sadly ive always been ensemble or like. the supporting cast nobody pays attention to

**fine-line:** word

**fine-line:** elpheba or christine because the songs they get are actually good and also im a mezzo soprano so i cant sing the lower-pitched male lines

**haha-balls:** ur so valid

**im-in:** wait christine canigula or christine from the phantom

**fine-line:** oh christine from the phantom of the opera

**fine-line:** only bc i want a certain someone to be the erik to my christine <3

**an-actual-thug:** is

**an-actual-thug:** is he talking about me

**fine-line:** of course i am

**fine-line:** you would make a beautiful erik

**an-actual-thug:** i dont know who christine is but im sure youd play her wonderfully <3

**im-in:** taka lets face it you just wanna see mondo in white gloves and a suit with coattails

**fine-line:** falsehood

**an-actual-thug:** what

**fine-line:** i believe the mask would be lovely on him as well

**an-actual-thug:** babe if you want me to do this with you i can

**an-actual-thug:** i cant act or sing in a high pitch for my life but i can sing low and i can put on a suit for you

**fine-line:** somebody get me a fan my face is heating up sweetheart why are you so cute i

**a-homeless-pothead:** im next to him rn and i can say that he is typing with voice to text and fanning his face with his free hand

**an-actual-thug:** send a video

**a-homeless-pothead:** _ taka_getting_flustered.mp4 _

**an-actual-thug:** wait thats so cute what

**poached-or-fried:** no lie i would do that if ******* said he would be the phillip to my anne

**im-in:** dont be shy uncensor it

**poached-or-fried:** hehe no <3

**haha-balls:** you mean from tgs right?

**poached-or-fried:** yeah

**haha-balls:** relationship goals wtf

**poached-or-fried:** god i wish

**poached-or-fried:** sadly he is dumb

**poached-or-fried:** i called him cute twice in the same day and he just raised an eyebrow and thanked me

**the-monopoly-man:** wow, this guy seems really dumb

**poached-or-fried:** ,,

**haha-balls:** thats it im leaving

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> quiz: what do u think the arc is
> 
> (hint: observe the tags carefully)


	11. poached-or-fried: youy ever juts start cryign randokl;y

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> operation rubies.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> some students are scheming? what could they be up to?

**haha-tongue-go-brrr:** hey makoto?

**poached-or-fried:** yeah?? (is this toko or syo)

**haha-tongue-go-brrr:** (its toko) i have a request to ask of you regarding the second years ,,

**poached-or-fried:** oh sure! what do u need toko??

**haha-tongue-go-brrr:** could you possibly get me acquainted with one myuzu atsumaru? i have some special orders to request of him

**poached-or-fried:** oh sure :) lemme dm u his number

**haha-tongue-go-brrr:** thanks makoto

**haha-tongue-go-brrr:** wait how is he awake rn he responded to me so quick i

**poached-or-fried:** in the world of fashion, one must never sleep >:)

**haha-tongue-go-brrr:** oh dear

**haha-tongue-go-brrr:** omgs hes charging less than normal bc im friends with u :00

**poached-or-fried:** haha yeah

**haha-tongue-go-brrr:** oh my god hes charging 180,000 yen i cant afford this

~~**poached-or-fried:** toko if its that important to you i can get byakuya to pay for it ~~

**haha-tongue-go-brrr:** ,,

**haha-tongue-go-brrr:** makoto ur an angel ily

**poached-or-fried:** awe ty <33

~~**poached-or-fried:** now im gna delete that message since i know byakuya reads back and hasnt gotten a chance to read that one yet ~~

~~**haha-tongue-go-brrr:** wait how did u know hes not asleep ~~

~~**poached-or-fried:** hes in my room with me rn ~~

~~**poached-or-fried:** he fell asleep during movie night ~~

~~**haha-tongue-go-brrr:** ah i see ~~

~~**poached-or-fried:** now lemme delete real quick ~~

_[_ **_poached-or-fried_ ** _has deleted seven (7) messages!]_

**haha-tongue-go-brrr:** alright ill ask for the money tmr

**poached-or-fried:** sounds like a deal

☁

**an-actual-thug:** oh my god are you two buying drugs from a second year

**haha-tongue-go-brrr:** what no

**haha-tongue-go-brrr:** myuzu is the ultimate designer i had some special commissions to request of him

**poached-or-fried:** this is true i got them acquainted hes pretty chill

**poached-or-fried:** i think he might be dating/crushing on nekomaru but im not sure

**haha-balls:** wait isnt nekomaru dating akane?

**poached-or-fried:** nah they were together for about two weeks before akane realized she was lesbian

**haha-balls:** oh i remember now

**walmart-vocaloid:** how are you two in on all the tea from the second years what

**poached-or-fried:** one day they all approached me asking if i was hinata’s secret love child and the rest is history

**bruhh-girl:** oh my god me too

**hard-boiled:** hey babe i have a question

**haha-tongue-go-brrr:** yeah??

**hard-boiled:** what exactly _did_ you commission from atsumaru?

**haha-tongue-go-brrr:** okay uh

~~**haha-tongue-go-brrr:** -.. .-. . ... ... . ... ..-. --- .-. - .... . -... --- -.-- ... - --- .. -- .--. .-. . ... ... - .... . .. .-. -.-. .-. ..- ... .... . ... .. -. .- - ... ..- -- .- .-. ..- ·----· ... .--. .-. --- -- --- ... .... --- --- - ·-·-·- ~~

**hard-boiled:** that took me a sec but nice

**haha-tongue-go-brrr:** ok now i gotta delete yoink

_[_ **_haha-tongue-go-brrr_ ** _deleted one (1) message!]_

**im-in:** that was deleted too fast for me to read my eyes are sleepy

**an-actual-thug:** i dont think any of us can read morse code at all besides chi

**im-in:** that is true ive sent countless cryptic morse code messages in the dms and you guys have never been able to decipher them before i deleted them so you wouldnt use a translator

**a-homeless-pothead:** wait what did mine say

**im-in:** cant tell u sry

**a-homeless-pothead:** man

**poached-or-fried:** youy ever juts start cryign randokl;y

**walmart-vocaloid:** uhhhhhhhh? no? makoto its 3am r u ok??

**the-monopoly-man:** is this one of those days?

**poached-or-fried:** yetah

**the-monopoly-man:** im coming over

**poached-or-fried:** thaknk you

**walmart-vocaloid:** what was that

**bruhh-girl:** lets just leave them to it, makoto seemed really shaken up and even tho we dont know why we shouldnt pry if it makes him uncomfortable

**walmart-vocaloid:** ur right

**the-monopoly-man:** please do not discuss this further. makoto is currently in a state of negativity and he wants you all to not worry about him.

**haha-balls:** ijsdhbfiu okay

**bruhh-girl:** okay!! please tell makoto we wont pry but we wish him the best!!

**the-monopoly-man:** i will.

**haha-balls:** he just went offline

**walmart-vocaloid:** so uhh

**walmart-vocaloid:** while they work out whatever that is, i have a question

**walmart-vocaloid:** toko meet me in the dms

**hard-boiled:** hey there

**walmart-vocaloid:** relax, im just asking a question to her, nothing serious

**hard-boiled:** hm

♣

**toko:** what did u need to ask??

**saya:** what did u commission from atsumaru? i wont tell anyone if u tell me

**toko:** hm i trust you but if i hear you snitched to anyone besides makoto, taka, kyoko, and sakura, im letting out syo on u

**saya:** i wont tell, i swear

**saya:** i dont think i would get anything out of it if i told anyone anyway

**toko:** a good mindset

**toko:** anyway i got byakuya to cough up 180k yen for a commission of four dresses, prom style, one for each

**toko:** atsumaru was already working on them before i asked, and he was willing to let the models keep them if they agreed to help without charge

**toko:** my intention is to have each person’s lover/crush get sus about why theyre in the second year’s floor, and then ill tell them theyre welcome to join us in a promo shoot that atsumaru, chihiro, and koizumi are doing

**toko:** the twist is that the shoot is to promote the new line of prom dresses that atsumaru is selling

**saya:** wait what does chihiro have to do with this

**toko:** he’s there to help with the technical aspects of setting up the page on the website, but he’s also there to record the reactions of said lovers/crushes so we can have a little sumn sumn to tuck away in the blackmail folder

**saya:** toko ur a genius

**toko:** i know

**saya:** you dont suppose i could show up to take some pictures aswell? my influence could help atsumaru’s popularity expand and i wanna see mondo’s reaction especially

**toko:** of course, let me just let the gc know

**saya:** ur a godsend ty toko

**toko:** anytime

♣

**hard-boiled:** i assume sayaka is in on our plot?

**haha-tongue-go-brrr:** yeah

**walmart-vocaloid:** i am completely on board with this, when are we doing it

**haha-tongue-go-brrr:** later today, at around six

**walmart-vocaloid:** ah, golden hour, smart

**haha-tongue-go-brrr:** we’ll be doing it in the dark room. taka, kyo, and sakura should be there around twenty minutes before.

**walmart-vocaloid:** got it, i’ll be there at half past five with moral support and a model smile

~~**haha-tongue-go-brrr:** wonderful, now can i delete the previous messages so none of them read it?~~

~~**walmart-vocaloid:** hm nah~~

~~**walmart-vocaloid:** keep it there so they get extra sus~~

~~**walmart-vocaloid:** delete these ones but keep the ones about where and when~~

~~**haha-tongue-go-brrr:** a smart lady you are~~

_[_ **_haha-tongue-go-brrr_ ** _deleted five (5) messages!]_

**hard-boiled:** you two are masterminds and i love it

**walmart-vocaloid:** thanks we try

☁

**poached-or-fried:** hey guys im back

**bruhh-girl:** oh makoto!! r u okay??

**poached-or-fried:** yeah im fine now, im actually doing really well

**walmart-vocaloid:** thats good to hear!! we’re always here for u makoto <3

**poached-or-fried:** awe thanks u guys <33

**poached-or-fried:** oh sayaka’s in on operation rubies now? rad

**walmart-vocaloid:** if thats what ur calling it then yeah im on board

**poached-or-fried:** freakin mint

**the-monopoly-man:** makoto, what is ‘operation rubies’? i believe i am in the dark

**poached-or-fried:** oh its just an inside joke haha

**the-monopoly-man:** hm.

♣

**kuya:** what is going to happen in the darkroom at six and what does it have to do with operation rubies?

**kyoko:** sorry byakuya, my lips are sealed

**kuya:** man

♣

**kuya:** tell aoi and celeste to go to the darkroom at three quarters past five later today. i want to see what will happen.

  
 **mondo:** already on it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i wrote out the naegami confession and its like a bazillion chapters away sjfbds


	12. squidward 'oh no he's hot' meme

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the quartet find a surprise. mondo is the first to react.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> woahh yankee wit no brim

the day for aoi, celeste, mondo, and byakuya seemed to drag on like a snail in the rain. 

aoi’s signature sneakers tapped against the floor restlessly, lips pursed and anxious as she silently wished for the school day and the lecture to just hurry up so she could see what her girlfriend was going to do later that day.

celeste’s perfectly manicured nails - and the polished silver tip of her finger armor - drummed in a quick and impatient rhythm against her desk as she watched the clock like a hawk, just waiting for the classes to just end so she could so her lover in the darkroom later.

mondo sat in the back of the class, cracking pencils continuously as a sort of diffuser for his suspicion and rising anxiety. the loud cracks were enough to temporarily snap him out of his bubbling pool of mild fear.

even byakuya was suspenseful, constantly fixing that odd green bow thing he called a tie and fiddling with his watch and the cuffs of his meticulous suit as he chewed at his bottom lip, watching the seconds tick by at a slow, torturous, almost teasing pace.

finally, classes ended, and they all headed into mondo’s room in one little group.

they noted how sayaka and chihiro immediately headed to the stairs leading up to the second years’ floor.

on their way, mondo had bumped into - surprise, surprise - his boyfriend, accompanied by sakura, kyoko, and makoto. 

they had all seemed to be in a bit of a rush, but when he had inquired about where the four were going, taka just stood on his tiptoes, pecked mondo’s cheek, and told him not to worry about it as they all headed upstairs. the kiss had brought a soft endeared smile to mondo’s lips, but it hadn’t calmed his suspicions.

later, as soon as the clock struck three quarters past five, they all stood from their little game of kings in the corner and nodded to each other, heading upstairs to the darkroom.

celeste, being the fastest out of all of them despite being in six-inch heels, knocked gently on the door as the rest of the four caught up.

the door was answered by a second year, just a couple inches shorter than byakuya. his skin was a fair shade, teetering the line between tan and pale, his hair was a soft baby pink and tied into a haphazard bun, spiky strands sticking out here and there, and his golden eyes analyzed the four visitors with a coldness that seemed to mask the warmth inside, shielded by thinly framed rectangle glasses that rounded slightly. a tape measure was strung around his shoulders, a wrist pincushion on his right wrist was impaled with pins and needles sticking this way and that, and small red scabs that looked like tiny freckles dotted his fingertips, most likely from needles.

this was atsumaru myuzu.

“ ah , _i visitatori_ ! ” he smiled upon realizing who they were, his voice soft with a feathery light air to it, but a bit heavy from lack of sleep. mondo noted that the student’s voice was laced with a slight italian accent. “ please do wait for a moment . we’re in a bit of a knot at the moment , but you may come in as soon as our little _problema_ is resolved . ”

celeste nodded politely, clearly not wanting any of the four to make a fool of themselves. “ _grazie,_ _il mio bellissimo superiore ._ we’re in a bit of a rush , but we shall be happy to wait . ”

she curtsied daintily, and the upperclassman returned the gesture with a polite bow before disappearing back into the photography room. small exclaims of ‘tighten the corset!’, ‘no, no, wrong earrings!’, and ‘the visitors are here!’ were heard from inside the room, along with a string of mildly frustrated italian curses and phrases that made celeste wince lightly when she heard them.

“ his voice is charming , but his vocabulary is quite colorful , ” she noted to herself, causing mondo to chuckle a bit.

they waited there patiently - mondo, not so patiently - until the door was opened again and aoi almost fell over from having leaned on it.

“ ah , you are welcome to come in now , _ospiti_ , ” atsumaru smiled kindly, his eyes no longer cold and analytical, but warm and inviting as he pushed the door open to allow them to come in. “ we have been awaiting your arrival . ”

“ awaiting our arrival . . . ? what do you - ” mondo started, but was cut off as his eyes took in the sight before him, as did the other three.

under the studio lights, sakura, taka, kyoko, and makoto were all dressed up.

and _dressed up_ seemed to be the understatement of the century.

however, mondo wasn’t looking at the other three who were laughing and trying to chase each other.

he was looking at taka, with good reason.

the ravenette was clothed head to toe in what could only be described as the most elegant yet simple prom dress mondo had ever seen. 

simple draped off-the-shoulder sleeves connected to a low-cut sweetheart neckline that framed taka’s chest and continued to accentuate his curves and crevasses all throughout the corset and bodice. the skirt didn’t flare out too much, but with the way it flowed around taka like the wings of a butterfly in the wind as he lifted the skirt to run around with the other three, laughing, it was certainly loose. the dress was a deep chinese violet at the corset, then the color travelled along the skirt, getting lighter and lighter until the hem of the skirt was the shade of mondo’s eyes. the click-click of the black kitten heels taka had slid on filled mondo’s ears like a beautiful orchestra.

it had been a few seconds of mondo gaping at the sight of taka in a prom dress before the ruby-eyes student in question noticed him. ceasing his running, he glanced to mondo, his smile returning tenfold and his eyes sparkling.

“ mondo ! hi ! ” he smiled brightly, lifting the hem of his dress to his ankles and running over to his lavender-eyed lover, who was still slightly in shock. hugging mondo around the neck quickly, he asked, “ what do you think of the dress ? atsumaru-san had me try it on so we could take pictures for his website ! ”

“ i - i , uh - i - ” mondo stammered dumbly, still trying to drink in taka’s figure. now that he was closer, he could see smoky eyeshadow brightening taka’s already striking eyes, and they seemed to suck all coherent thoughts out of mondo’s head and replace them with _taka taka taka_. “ uhh - ”

“ what our guest is trying to say is , you look _meraviglioso_ , ” myuzu said as he approached the two. “ he is quite lovestruck , i can see . ”

as taka flushed lightly at the idea, myuzu began to closely analyze mondo, looking him up and down, calculations and ideas sprouting in his mind like ivy. then, as if inspiration had struck him like lightning, his face brightened excitedly. “ ah ! that’s perfect ! ”

“ what is , atsumaru-san ? ” taka asked, turning his attention from a dumbstruck mondo to the second year.

“ _dios mio_ , i told you to call me myuzu ! and as for my genius idea , our visitors should perform in the shoot with you all ! ” myuzu exclaimed, ideas flashing in his eyes like little streaks of fire. “ how wonderful would it be to have couples on the front page of our prom line ? it’s - it’s . . . it’s _brilliante_ ! ”

mondo glanced from the excited myuzu, who was walking over to where celeste was showering kyoko with praises of how she looked gorgeous, back to taka, who was excited at the thought.

“ that would be an excellent idea ! just imagine , love , we’d be on the front page of an international fashion line ! together ! ” taka said excitedly. then he noticed mondo’s dumbfounded expression. “ um . . . monchan ? is everything - ”

that seemed to snap mondo out of whatever he’d been trapped in just then as he pulled taka into a tight embrace, causing the ravenette to startle slightly.

“ love ? is something - ”

taka didn’t get to finish his sentence as he was dipped by an elated mondo, who laid a chaste kiss on the corner of his lips.

“ goddamn , you look so beautiful right now . ”

“ language , ” taka chastised lightly, causing mondo to laugh a bit.

“ yeah , yeah , ” he rolled his eyes as he continued to pepper taka’s face with light kisses. “ you look absolutely stunning , babe . i just - wow . i really , really want to kiss you right now . ”

“ what are you waiting for then , dummy ? ”

as they shared a few tender kisses, trying not to giggle in between, they didn’t seem to notice the flash and shutter of koizumi’s camera pointed at them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cuties
> 
> my personal character is myuzu, the shsl fashion designer! he is a pansexual trans guy, and he was a victim in canon.


	13. mystery lesbians and buff sapphics

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> celesgiri and sakuraoi get some screen time <3
> 
> also the most recent chapter has a whole lot of leon so thatll happen in what. five-six chaps?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> woahh yankee wit no brim: the squeakquel

once they had walked in, it was no surprise that celeste’s eyes had landed on kyoko first.

and god, she had no regrets about that.

kyoko’s long lavender hair was tied in a loose bun, wispy curls framing her face and furling out of the bun, held together with two black hair sticks, adorned with pearls. her dress was a dark wine color, not quite purple but not quite red, and the bodice was snugly fit against kyoko’s bosom and torso before the tulle skirt splayed in waves not unlike kyoko’s curls. a gold line separated the skirt from the corset, and the corset itself was dotted with small little diamonds. whether they were real or not wasn’t clear to celeste, but she had to assume they were real, seeing as myuzu’s standards were raised exceptionally high for his choices of material.

the lavender-haired lady had even removed her signature studded gloves, her burn marks visible to anyone with an observant eye. she didn’t seem to mind, however, and it warmed celeste’s heart to know that kyoko was learning to embrace her scars.

kyoko noticed the door open and turned from trying to fix makoto’s messy hair, setting the brush down and walking over to celeste with a soft yet strikingly regal smile. the one that celeste absolutely adored.

“  _ mon cher _ , you look absolutely gorgeous , ” celeste praised , voice sweet as honey and genuine as a truth as she kissed kyoko’s hand. “ tell me , what is the occasion for this attire ? ”

“ we’re going to be doing a photoshoot to showcase atsumaru’s new line of prom dresses on his website , ” kyoko answered, cheeks flushed from the kiss and free hand tucking a stray strand of curls behind her ear. “ he’s allowing you all to participate in the shoot if you wish . ”

“ as long as i can have time with you ,  _ mon trésor  _ , i would be delighted to . ”

kyoko smiled softly as she kissed the corner of celeste’s eye, just on her temple. they shared a heartbeat of longing gazes before myuzu came up to them, a bright twinkle in his eye.

“ you two ladies share a very passionate bond , i can see , ” he mused with a knowing smile that seemed to imply some hidden meaning. “ your love is true and your hearts are intertwined . if you would be so kind as to showcase that passion for me , i would be quite grateful to you . ”

celeste’s signature smile wove itself onto her lips, but this time, it was genuine. “  _ grazie _ , atsumaru-san . we shall not disappoint . ”

“ please , call me myuzu . it’s much less stuffy . now , shall we go ? ”

♥

aoi, upon seeing sakura, had run up to her with a big smile, absolutely elated at how stunning her white-haired lover looked. running up to her and throwing her arms around the girl, who quickly returned the embrace.

“ sakura , oh my gosh ! you look absolutely wonderful ! wait , no , better than that , you look  _ so _ beautiful right now , ” the brunette rambled aimlessly. “ gah , you’re just so pretty in your dress , and i just - nghh ! ”

it was true. sakura looked wonderful, in an off-the-shoulder cocktail dress that matched the shade of aoi’s trainer jacket. the skirt, unlike all the other dresses, went just above sakura’s knees, and it flayed out like a half-opened fan, graceful and soft. the sleeves were designed in the same fashion, and the bodice was tailored to sakura’s exact measurements. the corset had an overlay of what seemed to be red flower lace, adding depth and volume to the one-piece.

overall, it was beautiful, and aoi would have continued gushing about how beautiful her lover looked if it wasn’t for myuzu walking over with a kind expression.

“ ah ,  _ per favore _ , do mind the dress . the skirt is rather prone to wrinkles , and i would prefer we don’t have those , ” he requested politely, face flushed as he waved his hands nervously. 

“ oh , i’m sorry ! ” aoi apologized quickly. “ i’ll try not to wrinkle the dress then ! ”

“  _ grazie _ ,  _ la signorina _ . say . . . would you care to stay and perhaps participate in the photoshoot with your lover ? we would not be behind schedule , it is rather early for the shoot , ” he offered with a warm smile and a certain warmth to his honeysuckle eyes, pushing up his glasses. “ you two would look absolutely extravagant together , if i may say . ”

“ seriously ? i’d be honored ! just let me know what to do ! ” aoi said excitedly, hopping a bit on the heels of her shoes.

“ of course ,  _ signora _ . please , have a seat over there and signora maizono shall help you with clothing and makeup shortly . ” after those words, he walked off to where kyoko was helping celeste do her hair into a long curled half-updo. yes, her drills were real.

sakura helped guide aoi over to where the makeup stand was. a girl with dark skin and light greenish-yellow hair was sitting there, waiting patiently. a bubbly smile was on her face as she smiled.

“ newcomer ! i’m yumiko tamura , ultimate makeup artist ! pleasure to meet ya ! ” yumiko smiled brightly. aoi returned the cheerful greeting with a peppy ‘hello’ in return, the two seemingly hitting it off really well as yumiko got started on her makeup.

myuzu approached not long after yumiko got started, the designer bearing a question. “ signora asahina , would you prefer a dress or a tuxedo ? it is completely up to you . ”

“ a tuxedo ! ” aoi smiled as she glanced to myuzu through the mirror’s reflection. yumiko had proven that she was not as kind if someone moved abruptly while she was doing more intricate makeup. “ i think a lot of people expect me to wear the dress and sakura to wear the tux , so why not switch things up ? ”

“ a fine choice ,  _ signora _ , ” myuzu nodded with a serene yet elated smile. “ what color would you like your tie to be ? ”

“ red , if you may . ”   
  


“ of course . i shall be back shortly with your attire . signora ogami has informed me of your clothing sizes , so size shall not be a problem . ”

with those words, he left to the rack located towards the back of the room, looking through options that seemed pretty much identical before settling on one and finding a ruby red tie to pair with it. aoi, seeing this through the mirror, decided not to comment on it, seeing as she was in no position to critique the super high school level fashion designer about his clothing choices, even if they all looked identical.

he brought them over and hung them up on the rack behind the opaque screen to change behind with nothing more than a nod of the head and a glance to the three girls, walking over to greet byakuya.

speaking of the heir, he still hadn’t noticed makoto yet due to the brunette’s sitting figure being concealed by kyoko and celeste.

however, it wouldn’t be long before he did, and when he did…

oh. oops.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cuties
> 
> pls leave a comment it would make me smile so much


	14. naegi's unlicensed sugar daddy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> so this fic has like. 700 hits? n 80 kudos and im mildly terrified its been two days
> 
> anyways stan byakuya togami

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hit chu wit that double whammy

byakuya had entered the room searching for makoto, glancing left and right to the different stations. 

he noticed chihiro sitting on the ground with sayaka, fingers typing rapidly as he set up a new page on a minimal-type website.

he noticed sakura and aoi with some tan-skinned second-year - yumiro or something - who had way too many bright bracelets and a lemon curd yellow cardigan, the latter doing aoi’s makeup while she chatted with the two.

he noticed toko on her phone near the back. he couldn’t tell what she was doing, but he assumed she was filling the class in on the events that were happening as they occurred.

he noticed taka and mondo talking near the far side of the room. occasionally, taka would flush a bright red at something mondo said and shove at his shoulder while the other laughed teasingly. he also noticed that mondo’s hands never knew where to settle when taka leaned up and gave him a little kiss.

he noticed the other two second years - myuzu and some red-haired girl he faintly remembered - talking while they flipped through the pictures on the girl’s camera.

he noticed celeste and kyoko talking, laughing at some joke while the latter fixed some brunette’s hair.

wait...who was the brunette?

as if on cue, the brunette stood and turned, revealing himself to be makoto naegi dressed up in one of the most extravagant yet elementary prom dresses byakuya had ever seen.

and god, if makoto wasn’t the most beautiful being byakuya had laid eyes on in that moment.

the bodice was a stark white muslin top with an a-cut neckline, a collar around makoto’s collarbone keeping the top from slipping, leaving his shoulders and arms exposed. the skirt’s silk inner layer was also porcelain white and seemed to fit more to makoto’s form, but was loose enough that the brunette could run in it comfortably. the outer layer was made of a flawlessly dyed chiffon, flowing from a dark maastricht blue to a creamy white. gold detailing overlapped and connected the bodice to the skirt, resembling that of vines. 

byakuya silently noted that makoto had taken his binder off in favor of a more comfortable bra that makoto seemed much more easy-to-move in, then quickly chastised himself for even glancing in that direction. what would his father think if he was told his son was looking at his crush's...er...mid quarters?

the dress, seemingly tailored to makoto’s exact measurements, flowed like the water of a calm river as the brunette in question stood and, noticing byakuya, smiled brightly.

“ kuya , hi ! ” he smiled brightly as he stepped over to byakuya, whose facial expression could only be described as absolutely dumbfounded, cheeks slowly heating up and being splotched with a soft pink. “ i’m so glad you could make it ! do you like the dress ? ”

byakuya could’ve sworn he saw toko giggling through his peripherals, but ignored it in favor of trying to get his mind to compute the fact that he’d heard sharp click-clicks in tune with makoto’s steps.

he glanced down to see silver kitten heels with pointed toes covering makoto’s feet.

the skill makoto had when walking in them implied that he had worn and walked in heels before.

yeah, he was whipped.

all that could come out of his mouth were dumbfounded stammers, which was absolutely mortifying for him, but at that point, all his non-functioning brain could think of was  _ makoto makoto in heels makoto in a dress makoto with lipgloss on makoto makoto makoto _ .

“ kuya ? are you okay ? ”

the brunette’s concerned tone of voice snapped byakuya out of his starstruck world of trying to drink in the whole sight in front of him. he quickly composed himself and tried to act like he didn’t just metaphorically drool over his crush wearing a cute prom dress.

did makoto always have those freckles on his shoulders and neck?

“ kuya . . . are you coming down with something ? we can take you to nurse mikan if something is - ”

“ you are so exquisite right now . ”

and the two shared a moment of silence, makoto’s face heating up.

“ e - eh - ? i - i’m not sure what you mean by that , kuya , but i - ”

as makoto rambled nervously, byakuya finally worked up the courage to say something, if only to preserve his name. it was up to makoto’s reaction as to whether it was a good idea to say it or not.

“ i said what i said . you are incredibly stunning right now , and i genuinely believe that you might be the most alluring individual in this room . ”

makoto’s rambles were now incoherent stutters, but byakuya chose to listen to them to drown out the sound of toko - syo now? - giggling at the interactions with chihiro and sayaka.

“ i , uh - i just , uh - ” makoto stammered intelligently, face heating up the prettiest shade of red. but before makoto could embarrass himself any further, his shining beacon of salvation walked over in the form of one amused atsumaru myuzu.

“ ah , signore togami , welcome . are you perhaps signore naegi’s lover ? ” myuzu asked, a look of pure innocence on his face as he asked. at this, byakuya lost some of his composure.

“ wh - what - ” he slipped up on his words. “ i - i believe you are mistaken , atsumaru . makoto and i are not romantically affiliated . ”

he tried to ignore how makoto glanced away with some unreadable yet blatantly negative emotion in his eyes.

“ ah , i see ,  _ mi dispiace _ . would you like to stay and watch or participate ? ” myuzu asked, his smile warm and comforting yet somehow knowing. 

“ i suppose i could participate . it would not hurt , ” byakuya decided, bringing a soft brightness to myuzu’s expression. noting makoto’s slight shifting, he added, “ and it would make makoto happy to know i’m participating socially , so i suppose this act is for him as well . ”

he took a moment to relish in makoto’s slightly shocked and slightly flushed expression. myuzu glanced briefly between the two with knowing honeysuckle eyes before speaking again.

“ wonderful . signore naegi had informed me prior of your measurements , so your outfit choices shall be over here . do you wish to wear a tux or a dress ? ”

“ a tuxedo , if you may , blue tie . i do not wish to wear a dress and i believe makoto looks that much more dazzling in one than i could ever . ”

the little flustered squeak he heard from makoto was definitely worth saying that, he decided.

as myuzu walked away to find a tuxedo for byakuya, makoto approached the blonde, playing with the soft gradient-dyed skirt of the dress. his cheeks were still flushed pink as he lowered his gaze slightly.

“ uh - kuya - ” he started, catching the heir’s attention.

“ yes ? ”

“ did you , uh - did you mean what you said back there . . . ? when you said i looked stunning and all that ? ”

“ of course i did . ”

makoto was slightly taken aback by the bluntness and honesty of those four words, and byakuya had said it as easily as he breathed.

“ wait - so , you really think that - ”

“ makoto , ” byakuya began, effectively stopping makoto from rambling on and embarrassing himself. “ if i did not think you were attractive in this dress , i would not have said it . but i do think that you look splendid , and i’m sure everyone else here can agree . ”

at byakua’s words, noises of agreement filled the room, and makoto flushed, burying his face in his hands. everyone chuckled as they went back to what they were doing, and byakuya was about to go approach myuzu about the tuxedo when makoto’s voice stopped him.

“ kuya . . . ? ”

byakuya turned to makoto with a hum.

“ thank you . . . your words mean a lot , ” makoto mumbled, eyes peeking out from his fingertips, face still undeniably pink, nearly red.

however, byakuya was (as was half of his class) an actual idiot when it came to feelings, so he simply smiled and said, “ of course , naegi . now i’ll go change while you fan out that red face of yours . i can see it past the makeup , and although i think it’s absolutely adorable , i don’t think myuzu would find it flattering . ”

with that, he nodded his head politely and left to go get his tuxedo from myuzu, leaving makoto a bright red and flushing mess as kyoko and celeste walked over to calm him down.

in the back, toko watched with a giddy smile, sayaka trying to hold in her laughter and chihiro giggling lightly into their fist.

only yumiko, who had joined them to help with sayaka’s makeup, was able to speak, and even then, her sentences were smothered in little giggles.

the one coherent sentence she could form only caused the other three students to burst into peals of laughter.

“ wow . . . they are super dumb . ”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> theyre getting there i promise
> 
> anyways comments?? i need validation i beg


	15. soda: jsnhf i am n o t a twink what is this guy on

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> byakuya comes to a decision.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> mikan has a dirty mind

**haha-tongue-go-brrr:** that photoshoot went well!!

**haha-balls:** u mean the one with the second years that you wouldnt stop being super cryptic about

**haha-tongue-go-brrr:** duh

**haha-balls:** chi sent me pictures

**a-homeless-pothead:** the look on ******* and *****'s faces were absolutely priceless

**an-actual-thug:** dont be shy uncensor it

**a-homeless-pothead:** no ♥

**the-monopoly-man:** truly, and i mean this with every fiber of my being, screw you

**fine-line:** sweetheart dont be mean

**poached-or-fried:** that goes for you too kuya, dont be so mean to hiro theyre trying their best

**the-monopoly-man:** ,, fine. sorry, i suppose.

**an-actual-thug:** yeah whatever ,, dont expect me to be so nice next time ,,

**walmart-vocaloid:** mirackles do happen

**im-in:** mirackles

**walmart-vocaloid:** >:(

**tornado-hair:** i suppose i forgot to tell you all but yesterday when mondo accidentally knocked over a rack of (apparently fragile clothing) myuzu turned from sweet and loving to an absolute force of nature

**tornado-hair:** i cannot recall what was said exactly, but i do remember insults such as 'tu due cent hai incasinato idiota' and some phrases such as 'dodici inferni e oltre' and 'sei un esempio eccezionale della necessità del controllo delle nascite'

**an-actual-thug:** it was scary

**haha-balls:** translation? not all of us can understand spaghetti, celeste

**tornado-hair:** pardonnez-moi. i believe the first one was referring to mondo as a 'two cent bastard idiot', then the second one was 'twelve hells and above', which seems to be a common phrase for him.

**tornado-hair:** the third one was, and pardon me if my translations are incorrect, but i believe it said 'you're an exceptional example of the need for birth control'.

**tornado-hair:** he apologized immediately after he had calmed down, but it was still slightly jarring to see someone so sweet turn into an unstoppable tornado

**fine-line:** i do recall that, it took about ten consecutive minutes for him to calm down and rearrange everything so we could get on with the shoot

**im-in:** yeah i recall now, he pulled a needle on u right

**an-actual-thug:** what no

**im-in:** oh i thought he did bc i saw him reach for his little wrist tomato thing that tailors have

**an-actual-thug:** w h a t

**a-homeless-pothead:** lol u were scared of myuzu?? hes not that bad man just shove a gummy bear in his mouth and hes calm

**an-actual-thug:** one, u could have told me >:(

**an-actual-thug:** two, its just slightly scary when a little twinky pink-haired second year who's like half a foot shorter than you throttles you with a tape measure and threatens to tear out your ligaments and feed them to his cat

**an-actual-thug:** wait now that i think about it that description could fit the soda mechanic guy from class 77

**haha-balls:** screenshotting that for very important reasons

**an-actual-thug:** uhh ok??

**walmart-vocaloid:** oh god

♣

**leon:** hey kaz did u happen to get into a fight with my homie 

**soda:** what no why

**soda:** wait which one

**leon:** uhh the guy with the corn lookin hair, mondo?

**soda:** oh yeah i know him! he comes in to let me tinker with his bike now and then

**soda:** why would u think we got into a fight??

**leon:** _ [1 attachment] _

**soda:** jsnhf i am n o t a twink what is this guy on

**soda:** and for the record my hair is magenta

**soda:** and i dont use tape measures tf?? i use  _ measuring tape _ there is a difference u stinky alley rat

**soda:** and where does this guy get off thinking im a whole six inches shorter?? im five foot five and a half and i will destroy him

**leon:** he was actually talking about myuzu but like go off? lmao

**soda:** hmph see if i ever fix his bike again

♣

**mondo:** hey bro my muffler's busted, can u help fix it pls

**soda:** oh sure man!! :)

**mondo:** thanks dude

♣

**a-homeless-pothead:** why do i get the feeling something very negative has conspired

**tornado-hair:** yasuhiro hagakure using words such as 'conspired'? i am impressed

**a-homeless-pothead:** choke on your drills baguette lady

**poached-or-fried:** can someonne pkewase cokem ober

**walmart-vocaloid:** woah hey whats wrong makoto

**the-monopoly-man:** are you hurt? is something wrong? did something happen to you?

**poached-or-fried:** binderr. canjt bretahe. too tighht.

**bruhh-girl:** oh shoot oh shoot

**poached-or-fried:** helsp

**the-monopoly-man:** im on my way, leave your door unlocked and do not move

**poached-or-fried:** thnakk yofffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff

**walmart-vocaloid:** oh shoot what just happened

**haha-balls:** i think he passed out and held down the f key accidentally before he somehow hit send

**the-monopoly-man:** dammit

**the-monopoly-man:** someone go get nurse mikan now

**fine-line:** im on it

**haha-tongue-go-brrr:** holy crap

♠

byakuya was quick to rush down the hall from the library, his eyes flicking across nameplates until he caught sight of makoto's name under that silly little sprite. it did nothing to portray the true innocent beauty of the one he longed for.

no time for that though.

he jiggled the doorknob and nearly yelled in frustration when it unlocked, but something was preventing it from opening. he managed to open it wide enough to squeeze his thin frame through that tiny crack in the door.

once he glanced around and his eyes landed near the entrance to the room, he now realized why the door had been so difficult to open. guilt panged at his heart like an arrow, tightening his throat as his eyes widened.

there, laying limp across the floor, was makoto naegi, passed out. his hoodie had been removed and his shirt was riding up, revealing that the brunette still had his binder on. 

ah, it was the sunflower one that byakuya had gotten for him.

_ " you're bright like a sunflower in the summertime , so i thought it would be fitting , " byakuya had confessed as he held the package out to makoto. the brunette had giggled at the implications and hugged byakuya tightly before accepting the package and running off to try it on to show the heir. _

_ byakuya, pressing his fingers lightly to his chest where makoto had hugged, found himself longing for more of that substantial warmth. _

he shook his head free of the memory. quickly kneeling down beside makoto and pulling him away from the door, he checked for a pulse, heart racing and panic rising in the back of his throat as he desperately tried to find any steady beat that implied that makoto was still there.

badump.

…

badump.

…

it was too slow.

his hands quickly moved to remove the shirt and soon the binder, but he paused slightly. makoto had not wanted top surgery (the risks were too high for him), so his breasts were still there, compressed under that sunflower binder. would it be considered taking advantage of him…?

  1. this was for makoto's health. that was what came first.



" i'm sorry , makoto , " he whispered softly before sliding the shirt off and slipping his hands under the taut hem of the binder, struggling to slide it off and over makoto's head. once he did, he tried his best to avert his gaze from makoto's...mid quarters as he slid the brunette's shirt back on. he did accomplish the task, but with some difficulty, as it was hard to get a shirt back onto a half-naked unconscious person while your eyes weren't on them.

despite the chances he faced and the procedures necessary to ensure makoto's health safely, he would not stoop so low as to defile makoto's body. that was just...wrong.

soon, while he was busy trying to keep check of makoto's pulse as the brunette laid in his bed, the door swung open, and in ran taka and the purple haired nurse from class 77, tsumiki mikan.

" ah - ! oh dear , what happened to her - him ? " mikan asked, mortification evident on her face as she slipped up. she was a mere acquaintance with makoto, so she had a hard time remembering what he went by socially.

" he had his binder on for too long and passed out , " taka explained as calmly as he could despite the slightly panicked look in his eyes. 

byakuya glanced down to makoto's body and, slipping a finger under the shirt's hem and lifting it just slightly, revealed sunken red lines that had come from the binder pressing too deep into makoto's skin, followed by a few red splotches along the delicate skin.

" ah , his binder is off - w - wait , byakuya-san . . . " mikan hesitated, examining makoto closely before jumping back suddenly with a red face. " b - byakuya-san ! did - did you undress him - ? that - that's so lewd , and - and indecent ! "

byakuya flushed a bright red at the implication, pulling away from makoto just slightly to wave his hands frantically in an attempt to explain. " no , no , that's not what i was doing ! i was getting the binder off so he could breathe ! "

mikan's composure was a lot less flustered at the implications, but byakuya still noticed her glancing at him warily as she tended to the angry marks along the boy's torso and chest. for that, he made a point of glancing away when she lifted his shirt above his breasts to tend to the marks there.

taka was looking away as well, which caused byakuya to turn to him and say, " if you are uncomfortable with the implications of accidentally seeing a female bosom , you may leave . i will inform you when makoto is restored to full health . "

to this, taka merely gave a smile.

" you truly do care for makoto , don't you ? " taka asked, voice soft as he glanced to byakuya, their eyes locking.

" of course i do . he is my best friend , i wish to be there for him in times of his need . "

taka's smile seemed to soften almost knowingly as he gave a nod, eyes twinkling with a look that minorly unnerved byakuya, but he didn't let it show.

" i see . "

those were the red-eyed prefect's only words before he turned on his heel and exited the room, closing the door behind him. byakuya stared after him, wondering just what was that implied hidden meaning?

" u - um , byakuya-san ? "

mikan's timid voice caused him to glance her way, and she nearly flinched.

" yes ? "

" um , uh - m-makoto-san will need to rest for a - a while . h - his breathing is regulated , b - but he'll need some , uh - some time to r - recover , " she explained, fumbling over her words as byakuya nodded.

" of course . thank you for your help , nurse mikan . i shall stay and watch over him . "

mikan looked like she wanted to protest at the idea, but was shut up once she saw byakuya's piercing blue stare fixated on her sharply. " eep - ! o - of course ! i'll leave you to it , just - don't do anything until he's unconscious . . . it would be r - rather immoral of you to t - take advantage of a sleeping person , w - woman or otherwise . "

byakuya opened his mouth to protest and say that no, he'd never take advantage of the one he pined after, but before any words could escape his lips, mikan had scurried out the door with her tail between her legs. he sighed and glanced over to makoto, who no longer looked like he was having a nightmare. now he looked calm and peaceful, and byakuya sighed softly, running a hand along the sleeping beauty's cheek and jaw.

leaning forward and pressing his lips gently against makoto's forehead, he sighed against the boy's skin. it was not a sigh of anger or exhaustion, but rather one of relief, relief that makoto would be okay, that he wasn't going to pass out completely in a comatose state.

he whispered seven words softly against the brunette's head, his forbidden action backed up by words he'd never imagined himself saying before.

" please be okay , makoto . i love you . "

the words felt so...so foreign on his lips.

and yet, directed to makoto...they felt so natural, so right, as if he'd said it to the lucky student a thousand times before and planned to say it to him a million times after.

he quickly dismissed the thought, licking at his slightly chapped lips as if that would erase the foreign feeling he felt when he had said those three words.

pulling out his phone and pulling naegi's chair by the desk towards the edge of the bed, he sat down and spoke into the receiver with a slightly hushed tone.

" siri , how do i ask someone out ? "

" here's something i found that might answer your question . . . "

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh my god ok its happening


	16. poached-or-fried: hey did you guys know warm apple caprisun tastes like death

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> byakuya and makoto talk. it ends in...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [debby ryan hair tuck] it happened

**the-monopoly-man:** hello.

**walmart-vocaloid:** byakuya!!! wb!!

**haha-balls:** is makoto good?

**bruhh-girl:** byakuya!! ur back!! is makoto going to be okay?

**flower-thats-it:** we did not wish to intrude in fear that makoto would feel crowded or overwhelmed and it would send him into a state of panic.

**the-monopoly-man:** appreciated.

**tornado-hair:** inform us, if you may, of makoto's current state, please.

**the-monopoly-man:** his breathing has regulated and his body seems to be in good health, but he has not woken up. nurse mikan has informed me to give him a couple more moments. he should wake up momentarily.

**walmart-vocaloid:** oh thank goodness!!

**an-actual-thug:** thank god, i knew makoto was tough enough to brave it out

**fine-line:** thank the heavens for that. and mikan. have you been watching over him, byakuya??

**the-monopoly-man:** yes. someone has to be there for him when he wakes up.

**walmart-vocaloid:** awe thats so cute byakuya!!!

**a-homeless-pothead:** man who would have thought byakuya had a soft side to him??

**blues-clues:** me

**a-homeless-pothead:** besides kyoko

**tornado-hair:** me

**a-homeless-pothead:** dammit

☁

**poached-or-fried:** hey yall

**walmart-vocaloid:** makoto ur back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! we missed u !!!!!!!!!!!

**bruhh-girl:** r u feeling better??

**poached-or-fried:** im doing good yea

**flower-thats-it:** glad to hear it.

**haha-balls:** good to know ur back and up again makoto!!

**an-actual-thug:** good to see u again bro, byakuya isnt giving u any trouble??

**poached-or-fried:** why would kuya be giving me any trouble?? hes been a total sweetheart since i woke up!!

**tornado-hair:** byakuya being affiliated as a sweetheart without any malicious intent?? i must be dreaming, surely

**fine-line:** makoto are you sure you didnt hurt ur head too bad

**fine-line:** byakuya certainly has made an effort to be better, but calling him a sweetheart is a little far fetched, dont you think??

**poached-or-fried:** but he is!! hes been getting me water and juice and hes been checking my temperature and making sure i was ok since i opened my eyes!!

**walmart-vocaloid:** who are you and what have you done with byakuya togami

**haha-balls:** ok even i know he wouldnt be that nice to anyone, even if he *** ******** ** ****

**the-monopoly-man:** i will pay you 6703 yen to shut your mouth

**bruhh-girl:** thats so specific what

**haha-balls:** deal

**walmart-vocaloid:** ah there he is

♣

**leon:** hey makoto can you do me a favor

**leon:** it doesnt require anything physical i just need u to type something really fast

**mako:** yeah whats up

**leon:** ok so i have this experiment i wanna try on byakuya, so can u like ,, indirectly say something about like ,, how ur heating up or how u dont like the juice flavor or something idk

**mako:** um sure?? i wont be too mean tho ill just imply

**leon:** yess ur an angel thanks bb <3

**mako:** anytime leon

♣

**poached-or-fried:** hey guys did u know warm apple caprisun tastes like death

**bruhh-girl:** what a mood tbh

**haha-balls:** aaand three, two, one

**a-homeless-pothead:** wait why are we counting down

**the-monopoly-man:** makoto, was the juice not to your liking? i can always provide a different one for you if you didn't like the flavor or it wasn't cold.

**poached-or-fried:** um it is a bit warm but its fine haha

**the-monopoly-man:** nonsense. i'll go get you a different one if you prefer it cold.

**poached-or-fried:** oh uh ,, ok!! thank u lemon drop <33

**the-monopoly-man:** yeah, anytime

**poached-or-fried:** ,, say itttt

**poached-or-fried:** please

**the-monopoly-man:** fine ,,

**the-monopoly-man:** anytime ,, cocoa puff

**poached-or-fried:** yay!!!! thank u kuya <33

**the-monopoly-man:** yeah yeah

♣

**kuya:** do you think it worked?

**leon:** oh for sure, makoto loves a man who can take care of him when he feels down

**kuya:** still wondering how you know this

**leon:** we exchanged tastes in boys

**leon:** spoiler alert - youre totally his type

**kuya:** wait really

**leon:** is u blind

♣

**poached-or-fried:** thank u for getting me the drink kuya, it means so much <33

**the-monopoly-man:** of course makoto, anything to make you feel better after what youve been through

**poached-or-fried:** (ノ▽〃)

**walmart-vocaloid:** man yall cute

**an-actual-thug:** best timeline

**bruhh-girl:** attention all gay mart shoppers, pay close attention to the two pining idiots being gay on main in aisle six. take notes, thats how u do soft flirting

**the-monopoly-man:** shut

**poached-or-fried:** aww idk i think its cute that ur willing to do this for me!!

**the-monopoly-man:** ,, i suppose i will tolerate it

**blues-clues:** whipped

**the-monopoly-man:** hush

**blues-clues:** hey man aint my fault i have a wonderful gf and ur stuck pining ://

**fine-line:** not to interrupt a sassygiri moment but uh.

**fine-line:** i just walked in on byakuya nd makoto to see if they needed anything and??? i find byakuya's hand on top of makoto's and they're exchanging soft words while blushing slightly im shufbihdsf

**bruhh-girl:** omgs cute??? jbfk

**walmart-vocaloid:** actual relationship goals im

**poached-or-fried:** dhut ip

**haha-balls:** cute but also makoto r u ok??

**poached-or-fried:** yewah jsut tyoijg witgh oine jsnd nc yhje lther id ubnder kutas abf j dont wanns lrt gho rn

**im-in:** uhhhhhhhhh?

**walmart-vocaloid:** "yeah just typing with one hand bc the other is under kuya's and i dont wanna let go rn"

**poached-or-fried:** [ rhonfs ul ekmpji ]

**walmart-vocaloid:** "thumbs up emoji"

**im-in:** u can understand that???

**walmart-vocaloid:** trust me i wish i couldnt

**a-homeless-pothead:** ok last i checked byakuya was smiling bc makoto said something and?? like ok soft byakuya ur out here being cute with makoto and for what??

**an-actual-thug:** genuinely need me a freak like this

**fine-line:** we literally did that when you got stabbed last week

**an-actual-thug:** u were scolding me the whole time

**fine-line:** hey man ever thought about the wee little possibility that, just maybe, i actually care about u as ur bf and want u to be safe and not get hurt

**an-actual-thug:** what

**fine-line:** yeah theres a slightly possibility that i care ab u ever thought of that

**an-actual-thug:** wait babe dont get mad ilyt <33

**fine-line:** ,, please just try to stay out of trouble. <3

**bruhh-girl:** man yall cute

**an-actual-thug:** he is isnt he

**fine-line:** yeah he is

**walmart-vocaloid:** oh my god

**haha-balls:** jsfkjsf

**a-homeless-pothead:** ok ok quiz time

**walmart-vocaloid:** whatchu got for us now

**a-homeless-pothead:** if u were a trend from now that we'll probably look back on in the future and think 'what the hell was that', which one would u be

**a-homeless-pothead:** i would be normies collecting crystals not bc they believe in astronomy and/or witchcraft but bc they think its cool

**walmart-vocaloid:** those songs on soundcloud where they make it so it sounds like ur listening to it in a bathroom at a party

**poached-or-fried:** ok listen dancing queen by abba but in a bathroom at a party is good

**walmart-vocaloid:** to each their own

**poached-or-fried:** i would be setting propics as either blurry pictures taken outside at midnight with flash or a screencap of a manga panel

**blues-clues:** fairy lights but those stardust led ones

**tornado-hair:** painting over playing cards and drawing anime characters on them

**haha-balls:** collecting rocks only to stuff them all in a container and forget about them

**bruhh-girl:** going to the pool just to show off in a bikini

**flower-thats-it:** normies making fun of japanese culture because their first perception of it is anime weebs uwu

**the-monopoly-man:** purely white houses

**fine-line:** copypastas

**the-monopoly-man:** 𝔁𝓾𝓮🥶𝓱𝓾𝓪🧚♀️𝓹𝓲𝓪𝓸😻𝓹𝓲𝓪𝓸🗿𝓫𝓮𝓲👺𝓯𝓮𝓷𝓰🤩𝔁𝓲𝓪𝓸😼𝔁𝓲𝓪𝓸👣

**fine-line:** do not

**the-monopoly-man:** my✋name👄is👀not❌five👏weenies🌭i🔥am😎shoto❄from😳UA🏫 and👈I👁wanna✨be💫a😜hero💂

**an-actual-thug:** people getting motorcycles/skateboards just for the instagram pictures

**im-in:** tik tok povs where normies pretend to be hackers even though theyre actually scrolling through **** *** and u can see their screen bc they have big round glasses on bc thats aesthetic

**a-homeless-pothead:** wait thats such a mood what

**fine-line:** wait thats what theyre doing??

**an-actual-thug:** jdsfk mood

**walmart-vocaloid:** normies man smh

**blues-clues:** normies are stinky

**haha-balls:** usdhkf u go queen

**poached-or-fried:** anyone else just sit with ur best friend while listening to mr loverman and heather and starting to cry bc the songs are sad and u relate to them on a personal level

**the-monopoly-man:** makoto pls dont cry theyre songs

**poached-or-fried:** yeah and theyre sad songs that i relate to what about it

**the-monopoly-man:** who broke ur heart makoto i just wanna know

**poached-or-fried:** oh no my heart isnt broken, nobody broke up with me haha ,, just a case of unrequited love sjfha

**the-monopoly-man:** that's unfortunate, im sorry. i dont see why anyone would pass on the opportunity to date you.

**poached-or-fried:** oh thanks kuya haha :)

**the-monopoly-man:** anytime.

♣

**kuya:** hes so dense i sjfbjskbf

**kyoko:** give him time

**kuya:** how am i supposed to??? its been a whole year

**kuya:** he hasnt picked up on a n y of the signals

**kyoko:** no offense but u send mixed signals a lot ngl

**kuya:** wow thanks </3

**kuya:** you know what im gonna do it

**kyoko:** wait what

**kuya:** im gonna look him in the eyes and ask him to date me

**kyoko:** lmao bet

♣

**poached-or-fried:** wiiildest dreeeeams of helllll

**haha-balls:** oh so its that playlist

**haha-balls:** why would u listen to it in ur current situation r u dumb

**poached-or-fried:** i know i know i know but i just needed to vibe to it for a bit

**haha-balls:** acceptable but also ur big dumby rn

**poached-or-fried:** yeah ik but still

**haha-balls:** what part is it at

**poached-or-fried:** its at the bridge

**haha-balls:** oh the bridge of wildest dreams slaps 

**poached-or-fried:** ikkk

**poached-or-fried:** wait kuya wants to talk to me gtg

**haha-balls:** go get ur mans

**poached-or-fried:** shut

**walmart-vocaloid:** what did i just read

♠

" what did you need , kuya ? " makoto asked as he set down his phone. byakuya took a deep breath and, gripping his phone in his hand, tried to steady himself, closing his eyes.

" please , give me a moment . "

makoto hummed in affirmation as he waited, taking a small peek at the phone screen, which was still on.

he didn't mean to read it. but upon seeing the direct messages with kyoko, his interest piqued and he took a small peek.

his interested smile dropped slightly as he read over the brief messages. byakuya was planning to confess to someone?

makoto leaned back and collected his thoughts.

of  _ course _ byakuya had found someone better than him. makoto felt a hot sting behind his eyes as his mind wandered to images of byakuya being affectionate, romantic, intimate with another faceless person, and his stomach churned like melted butter.

he was sure byakuya had been talking about someone else, but his mind decided to helpfully supply,  _ but wait . . . that's not right . . . _

byakuya had been substantially kinder to him over the school year. he had expressed his opinion that anyone would be foolish as to not be attracted to makoto. he had taken care of him when he passed out and during attacks. he had provided him with supplies for a successful transition.

and...while he was unconscious...he had felt the ghost of lips upon his forehead. he knew nobody but byakuya had been in the room. 

byakuya...had kissed him.

he didn't notice how red his face had become until he heard byakuya's voice ask, " makoto , are you alright ? your face is heating up - "

" do you like me ? "

seemingly caught off guard for a moment at the sudden and blunt question, the heir failed to let words escape before he composed himself with a sharp intake of air and said simply, " of course i like you . you are my best friend , are you not ? "

one deadpan look from makoto told byakuya everything.

" kuya , you know what i mean . i saw the messages , i put it all together . do you like me as . . . as more than what we have right now ? as more than . . . more than friends ? "

byakuya hesitated, trying to come up with the right words. of course, it didn't take long, seeing as he was a bibliophile and books were one of his greatest passions, so he was able to piece together the right words.

" i suppose there's no more hiding it . . . yes . i do like you , makoto . romantically . this is , by no means , an inclination for you to accept . i just thought you deserved to know , but i never knew how to tell you . . . i suppose now that i've said that , it's time for you to reject me , is it not ? "

makoto blinked. him, rejecting byakuya? the one person who he'd gotten incredibly attached to, to the point where when he closed his eyes, it was darkness and thoughts of the blonde and nobody else?

" why would i reject you ? "

the blonde started, seemingly not expecting this response.

" well , why would you not ? it's obvious you don't like me back , so i understand if - "

the heir never did finish his sentence.

because, in the time it took for byakuya to start speaking, makoto had used all of his strength to lift himself up and lean forward, pressing his lips gently to the blonde's.

byakuya was obviously startled, but once he figured out what was happening, he set his phone down somewhere and cupped makoto's cheek gently, leaning in just a bit, not wanting to ruin the perfectly chaste kiss.

it was obviously makoto's first kiss. the brunette was hesitant, shy, not knowing exactly what to do with his hands or his lips. however, after they pulled away, faces flushed and breathing irregular, byakuya felt on top of the world.

they had stared into each other's eyes for just a brief moment before byakuya went to sit on the edge of the bed for better access. they leaned back in simultaneously, their lips pressed against each other, warm and hesitant yet so inviting.

byakuya pressed forward cautiously, and was greeted with a slight hum of contentment as that underlying taste of strawberries and that sugary apple juice enveloped byakuya's senses. his hands pulled makoto in by the waist gently, making sure not to hurt the boy as he tried to maneuver his glasses out of the way.

makoto was on cloud nine, his throat filled with pleasured noises and soft sighs and hums just waiting to come out. byakuya's lips tasted like spearmint and vanilla chapstick and those peach gummy candies he denied liking, and makoto pressed forth hesitantly, wanting more and more. his fingers slowly threaded into byakuya's silky soft hair, tugging lightly as he tried to get byakuya to press a bit closer.

they only pulled away when byakuya's tongue had curiously nudged at makoto's lips, trying to request entry. makoto had flinched with a squeak, and byakuya had pulled away with a concerned expression.

" is something wrong ? "

" um . . . n - no tongue yet , please . . . "

" of course , makoto . "

and they pulled each other in again, like magnets, their lips still warm from the previous kisses as they kissed a little more forcefully, consciously avoiding any tongue action as their lips moved in a slow dance, byakuya's fingers squeezing at makoto's hips delicately. the small squeak he received in the kiss was definitely worth the bold move.

" hey guys , if makoto is feeling better , taka made some - "

the voice of someone unknown snapped them out of their cottony haze as they snapped their heads to meet eyes with one shocked leon kuwata. the redhead was standing there, eyes wide as he tried to figure out what was happening.

the heir and the lucky student were in a rather compromising situation. byakuya was seated on makoto's bed with the brunette, and they had been kissing, and the blonde's hands were still attached to makoto's waist, and they were both flushed, lips swollen and pink from messy kisses. this position for two people who had been crushing on each other was rather suggestive, and it didn't take long for someone like leon to come to a conclusion.

" oh my god . . . you two were totally about to bang ! " the baseball star laughed. makoto quickly denied it, detaching himself from byakuya and causing the blonde to swallow back a whine of protest.

" w - wait , that's not it at all ! we were just , y'know . . . makin' out . . . that's it , " makoto clumsily defended, face flushed. leon wiped a tear from his waterline as he calmed down from his laughing fit.

" just messin' with you guys . anyway , come down when you're done with . . . ' making out ' , " the ginger giggled, putting an emphasis on the last two words before turning and walking away, closing the door.

the two stared at the door before turning back to each other. as the 1975 played in the background, the dim room was filled with noises of soft kisses and longing hums, a gasp or two echoing across the walls.

if they walked into the dining area with flushed faces, swollen lips, hazy eyes, and interlocked fingers, that was their business.

at least, it was until mondo yelled, " oh my god , did you two smash ? ! "

" no ! "

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope that was good enough for the main two pining idiots


	17. tornado-hair: "an-actual-thug, poached..."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the gang talks babies.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have face references to the kids that naegami n ishimondo discuss but ao3 is stinky and wont let me post them smh

**bruhh-girl:** sdiujfckds still freaking out over makoto and byakuya finally getting together

**blues-clues:** yeah i was doubting them for a while but when they finally got together i was like 'oh god finally'

**flower-thats-it:** i am happy for them.

**an-actual-thug:** makoto gettin some finally

**fine-line:** i wonder when their wedding will be?

**tornado-hair:** i send my regards.

**im-in:** sfjdsf taka omgs ,, but also yeah congrats you two

**haha-balls:** yall lucky u didnt figure it out first

**a-homeless-pothead:** wym

**haha-balls:** i walked in on them making out on makoto's bed

**bruhh-girl:** jsdbfbdbf

**a-homeless-pothead:** wait so they were actually gonna bang?? hjbsbfb

**fine-line:** engaging intimately on school grounds when anybody could walk in is not allowed in a school environment!!! show some decency and lock ur doors

**an-actual-thug:** didnt stop us babe

**fine-line:** shut your pretty mouth sweetheart <3

**an-actual-thug:** heh <3

**poached-or-fried:** u guys for the last time we didnt bang jkfbksdf

**the-monopoly-man:** it would be immoral to engage in fornication so early in a relationship

**haha-balls:** oh my god just say banging

**the-monopoly-man:** no <3

**haha-balls:** thanks i hate it

**a-homeless-pothead:** mans rlly came for leon's throat

**poached-or-fried:** wait u guys i just realized

**haha-balls:** what

**poached-or-fried:** we havent even put a clever chat name for this chat yet its just our usernames listed

**haha-balls:** omgs ur right

**a-homeless-pothead:** sihdbf try reading it as a sentence im jhsfj

**tornado-hair:** "an-actual-thug, poached…"

**an-actual-thug:** hm dont like that. <3

**fine-line:** pls dont poach my boyfriend i wanna have him around long enough to get married and have a kid

**an-actual-thug:** babe thats so sweet but we cant have kids?? last i checked neither of us have a bussy

**fine-line:** have you ever heard of a surrogate

**an-actual-thug:** isnt that a type of boat

**haha-balls:** the duality of man

**an-actual-thug:** wait babe u want kids w me??

**fine-line:** well ive thought about it but in the future, that would be enjoyable ,, ive just been imagining a little you running around and you acting like a reckless but overprotective father figure and its just. really cute

**an-actual-thug:** bbabe ,, thats so cute omgs im gonna cry

**fine-line:** love please dont cry i can assure you we're not going to be having kids until the appropriate age

**an-actual-thug:** yeah ofc babe

**walmart-vocaloid:** im finna cry theyre so cute

**fine-line:** in the meantime if you name our future child something aggressive i will not accept it

**an-actual-thug:** i was actually planning on naming our kid(s) something like takedo n kageyuu??

**fine-line:** whats the meaning behind the names?

**an-actual-thug:** i dont know ,, takedo just has that fieryness to it and i thought it was nice

**an-actual-thug:** and kageyuu sounds like a name that just. resonates with u

**fine-line:** oh ,, well, i suppose takedo owada and kageyuu owada have nice rings to them

**an-actual-thug:** hey woah woah woah

**an-actual-thug:** what the hell makes you think we're not using your last name

**an-actual-thug:** takedo ishimaru and kageyuu ishimaru sound much more fitting

**fine-line:** we can decide when we get married alright??

**an-actual-thug:** ugh alright

**an-actual-thug:** but im still rooting for takedo and kageyuu ishimaru

**fine-line:** i'll be rooting for takedo and kageyuu owada

**an-actual-thug:** wait i forgot to ask

**an-actual-thug:** how many kids do u even want???

**fine-line:** ive always wanted three, but its up to you love, id be happy with however many children we have

**an-actual-thug:** so we're getting three kids, leon is not allowed to be the godfather of any of them

**haha-balls:** uhhhh rude

**haha-bals:** ill have you know i would be a great godfather

**an-actual-thug:** all you would do is teach our kids how to throw baseballs at ppl's nuts

**fine-line:** what would we even name the third one??

**an-actual-thug:** how does ichiya sound?

**fine-line:** that sounds ,, wonderful, actually wow

**fine-line:** did you somehow have all of this planned out before we had this talk??

**an-actual-thug:** psh nah

**haha-balls:** he did i can see him deleting the list on his notes app

**an-actual-thug:** shut the hell up

**fine-line:** your dedication to this is ,, astounding. im flattered that you would put in so much for our future

**an-actual-thug:** anything for my diamond <3

**fine-line:** <3

**im-in:** i feel like i just witnessed a fanfic

**a-homeless-pothead:** same

**poached-or-fried:** hey lemon drop??

**the-monopoly-man:** yes i have thought about it

**bruhh-girl:** how do yall keep doing that?? is it like. love intuition??

**the-monopoly-man:** no

**poached-or-fried:** wait you have thought about it??

**the-monopoly-man:** yes

**poached-or-fried:** really?? how many do u want id be willing to give u as many as u wanted <3

**haha-balls:** can trans guys get pregnant??

**poached-or-fried:** yeah if they stopped t at six months and they have the functioning body parts necessary then they can

**poached-or-fried:** and astounding as it is, ya boy eggi still got a bussy

**the-monopoly-man:** i believe two would be nice. that way, we can each decide on one name.

**poached-or-fried:** awe thats so considerate of you!!!!! i like the name tsukihi, its so innocent yet pretty

**the-monopoly-man:** that is a lovely name, cocoa puff. i like the name chiho.

**poached-or-fried:** aw thats such pretty name kuya!!!! chiho togami n tsukihi togami

**the-monopoly-man:** one minor complication - we will be hyphenating our names upon marriage. how does chiho and tsukihi togami-naegi sound?

**poached-or-fried:** that sounds wonderful kuya <33

**walmart-vocaloid:** wtf how are yall so cute jdfsdf??

**poached-or-fried:** its the honeymoon phase

**poached-or-fried:** soon he'll be yelling at me for evading taxes and ill be yelling at him bc he gives our kids six thousand dollars each as allowance

**walmart-vocaloid:** djnfk

**the-monopoly-man:** that is false

**the-monopoly-man:** i would not give our children allowance i would simply buy them what they wanted myself

**poached-or-fried:** kuya that doesnt make it any better

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the doc im typing ahogayism on is 117 pages long with 10.5 font size and 1.15 spacing im gonna cry my laptop is suffering


	18. poached-or-fried: u take care of ur skin?? im astonished :00

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> makoto and leon talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes theres a leon/makoto friendship bc i say so

**haha-balls:** "do not direct message me unless you look like the green m&m, periodt" - kazuichi soda, 2020

**haha-balls:** followed by a picture of fuyuhiko's face photoshopped onto a green m&m

**poached-or-fried:** fat mood but also its half past midnight what is the point of this

**haha-balls:** ur the one who was awake

**haha-balls:** what r u even doing

**poached-or-fried:** listening to a downtempo playlist on soundcloud while staring at the ceiling and trying to ignore the cracks from dry tears on my face bc its uncomfortable but im too tired to wash them off so im just laying here like an idiot listening to slowed melanie martinez

**haha-balls:** oh mood

**haha-balls:** is byakuya not with u?

**poached-or-fried:** no he isnt, he said hes not too keen on the idea of sleeping next to someone yet bc of personal reasons and i wanna respect his boundaries

**haha-balls:** understandable

**haha-balls:** which melanie song is it

**poached-or-fried:** it was play date but it just finished and now im listening to wait by m83 but slowed

**haha-balls:** bruv get up and wash ur face before the sodium in the tears damages ur skin

**poached-or-fried:** u take care of ur skin?? im astonished :00

**haha-balls:** honee this beauty does not occur overnight, i need to take care of it

**poached-or-fried:** understandable i suppose

**haha-balls:** ok im gonna be deleting this message and replacing it with something more convincing but do u wanna sneak out and go do something bc im bored

**poached-or-fried:** sure ig ive been laying here for two hours im bored

**poached-or-fried:** can i bring my phone for music so we can vibe

**haha-balls:** sure, we'll meet in the dining area?

**haha-balls:** we're probably gonna be chillin on the roof with drugs or alcohol anyway so

**poached-or-fried:** yeah, n make it alcohol pls i dont wanna do drugs yet

**haha-balls:** u got it

_ [  _ **_haha-balls_ ** _ has deleted seven (7) messages! ] _

**haha-balls:** hey btw can u send me ur downtempo playlist it sounds comforting

**poached-or-fried:** yeah sure

**haha-balls:** thx, gn

**poached-or-fried:** gn :)

♠

makoto hurried outside, closing his door as silently as possible in case anyone was out late besides leon. he had quickly thrown on a black hoodie and some pants over his undergarments, not bothering to take out his earphones, before walking with caution down the hall and into the dining area. peering into the room, he looked around with squinted eyes before he noticed leon sitting in the back, phone on and illuminating his features.

makoto walked over to the redhead, who glanced up and smiled, waving as he put his phone away. makoto's eyes had adjusted (mostly) to the dark, so he could see leon's taller silhouette taking his hand and taking him to the storage closet in the kitchen.

" uh . . . leon ? what are we doing here ? " makoto asked.

" this is the secret entrance i found to the roof , it's where i go when i need to just be alone with my thoughts or when i'm sad because of . . . well , anything , really . "

the redhead had laughed as if he'd made a funny joke, but makoto could hear the obvious pain in his voice as the two clambered up the hidden ladder that leon had knocked down with an apple lying outside. they squeezed out onto the roof, leon helping makoto up. they made themselves comfortable, then leon reached into the pockets of his hoodie and pulled out a bottle of something. 

makoto couldn't tell what it was, but by the faint scent of alcohol and mango he could smell, he had to assume it was that half-finished mango pineapple vodka that they both had drank when they were crying together in makoto's room once. 

makoto had wallowed softly about his seemingly unrequited crush on byakuya and not feeling adequate, leon had opened up about his autism issues and his problems with talking to people and coming off the wrong way, and the night had ended with makoto being unusually giggly and leon belting lyrics to their favorite musicals on the bed, the former attempting to keep up with him in between his slurred giggles.

makoto sighed wistfully at the memory, causing leon to look at him, confusion written across the redhead's face.

" something up , ko ? "

" leon . . . do you remember that one time we got drunk in my room and sang all those songs from our favorite musicals ? "

" of course i remember that , how could i not ? " leon laughed, eyes flashing with nostalgia as he recalled the memory. " you were too giggly to sing along so i had to try and overlap the lyrics while drunk , and yet somehow you were sober enough to make me take off my shoes before i jumped onto your bed . "

" and remember when you accidentally spilled the cup onto my pants and looked at me before asking if i pissed myself ? "

" duh ! i thought you did , i spilt the cup square on your crotch ! "

" it was so cold , i think i screamed for a good five minutes ! i'm amazed we didn't wake up taka with how loud i screamed . "

the two laughed at the fond memory, makoto unplugging his earphones and letting his music play. dancing queen by abba filled the empty night air, along with the two boys' laughter as leon offered the bottle to makoto, who took it with a smile and sipped. they didn't really care about indirect kisses, they were friends enough that it didn't matter.

the familiar taste of artificial mango flavoring and alcohol brought a smile to makoto's lips as he reminisced upon all the time he and leon had drank it while in one of their rooms. he passed the bottle to leon, who took a bigger drink out of the bottle. once he pulled his lips away, he spoke over the music.

" hey , makoto ? "

" yeah ? "

“ bring up another memory for me , please . i need to forget . ”

" do you remember the time we got taka and chihiro with us and put on an unlicensed ghetto rendition of wicked ? "

" oh my god , of course i do ! taka made such a good elphaba . . . still brings me to tears , " leon laughed, pretending to wipe a tear from his waterline.

" right ? you were a great fiyero too . and chihiro as glinda was iconic . "

" bro , you made such a great nessarose , i thought i was gonna cry . "

" aww , thanks , leon . "

the redhead nodded, and they sat with nothing but the music filling the air, passing the bottle between each other and slowly getting tipsy as time passed.

it was around fifteen minutes later when leon spoke.

" . . . the bottle's empty . "

" dammit . "

then there was silence for another five minutes before leon said something in a tone that sent a pang of concern through makoto's vodka-addled mind.

" makoto . . . am i weird ? "

the brunette turned to his friend, worry in his eyes.

" in what way ? i'd say there's some circumstances where you can be an oddity , but in what way do you mean ? "

" i mean . . . am i socially weird ? dammit , that's not right . . . am i . . . am i a freak ? "

interlaced in leon's voice was the slightest of shakes, and as makoto placed a gentle hand on leon's back, he could tell that the redhead who was curling up into a ball was shaking slightly.

" leon . . . what brought this up ? "

" . . . celestia snapped at me for stimming today . . . kyoko, byakuya, and mondo agreed with her . . . i had to run out of the room before i could start crying in front of them like a pussy . . . "

" leon , how many times have i said this ? it doesn't make you weak or a pussy if you cry in front of others . it just shows that you're human and that you have the capacity to feel emotion . as for them telling you off , they most likely didn't know . you haven't told anyone but me about your autism as far as i know , and if they didn't know , they probably would have written off your stimming as mindless or incessant fidgeting . even so , that's still not right . i'll have a talk with them later today , yeah ? "

leon sniffed, rubbing at his tear haphazardly with the sleeve of his hoodie.

" yeah . . . thanks , ko . "

" anytime , lee . now , since we don't have any more alcohol , do you just wanna listen to music and talk ? the stars are so bright tonight , they're beautiful . "

" yeah . "

makoto didn't bother asking which of his sentences that was a response to.

☁

later, as they stumbled down the ladder and back into makoto's room, leon had asked with an uncharacteristic softness if he could stay the night. makoto, generous as he was, allowed him to stay on the bed with him as long as there were no unwarranted touches.

grabbing two painkillers and filling a cup with water, he left the items on his bedside table before laying in bed and listening to the music fill the air as he drifted off, leon's head tucked against his shoulder as he slept.

as he was drifting off, he heard three sleepy and half-drunk words come from leon before he fell asleep.

" thank you , ko . . . "

makoto was asleep before he could respond.

♠

**poached-or-fried:** ughhhjhhhfghhjhh dammit

**walmart-vocaloid:** woah hey r u good?? usually ur not this pissy in the mornings

**poached-or-fried:** heafd hurt

**walmart-vocaloid:** what happened??

**haha-balls:** oh he hit his head last night when i accidentally scared him in the dining area

**the-monopoly-man:** what were you guys doing in there?

**haha-balls:** i was getting a cup of water and when i turned my back he was suddenly there

**haha-balls:** i said his name and he jumped so hard he hit his head on the cabinet and almost passed out

**haha-balls:** think hes still woozy

**poached-or-fried:** yeah thas what happemef

**the-monopoly-man:** cocoa puff are you alright?? do you need an ice pack or bandages? have you taken painkillers?

**poached-or-fried:** lemob drop im fime

**poached-or-fried:** wait u jnow what

**poached-or-fried:** i stikl have smtt to say to u celesre mpndo n kyokp

**tornado-hair:** what is it, makoto?

**blues-clues:** what's up?

**an-actual-thug:** whatcha need

**the-monopoly-man:** we're listening

**poached-or-fried:** did u guyd make lepn upset yesrerday

**poached-or-fried:** he tolf me u guys snaoped at him for ;fidgeyinf"

**walmart-vocaloid:** translation: basically you guys snapped at leon for fidgeting or something

**tornado-hair:** well, we did. his constant fidgeting was rather irritating and we did not want to put up with it, as we were studying for midterms.

**an-actual-thug:** yeah we were trying to study and it was getting annoying

**blues-clues:** the fidgeting was detrimental to our focus, so we decided to attempt to cease it.

**the-monopoly-man:** yes. we were tired of the noise and we wanted to focus.

**poached-or-fried:** oh mt god are yiu all dumv

**poached-or-fried:** he was tryimg to self stinulatw

**poached-or-fried:** he canf sit stilk r hell be trapprf in hid thoughts and hell be supre unconforyabl

**poached-or-fried:** when he tolkd me he saif h wad both angrt and absolkutely triiefied that hed upsrt u guyd

**poached-or-fried:** i get thst u didnr know he neefed to stim but it was stil; rly insensitve of u guys to do thdt

**poached-or-fried:** u guys coukld habve made him spiral into a panic ayack

**walmart-vocaloid:** oh my god

**walmart-vocaloid:** basically you guys made leon absolutely terrified that he’d upset you guys and you made him stop doing what made him comfortable and you could’ve made him spiral into a panic attack

**an-actual-thug:** shoot seriously??

**poached-or-fried:** yeqh

**blues-clues:** we apologize deeply, leon. we did not intend to hurt you.

**tornado-hair:** i send my apologies as well. i did not realize my words were harmful.

**an-actual-thug:** yeah man, sorry ,, didnt know u were sensitive to those words

**the-monopoly-man:** apologies, leon. but might i inquire, why do you have the need for self stimulation?

**haha-balls:** you guys its fine but thank you for apologizing

**haha-balls:** and uhhhhh ,, i kinda have asd and need stimming or i get super uncomfortable

**haha-balls:** its fine tho u guys didnt know and i shouldnt have interrupted ur studies

**blues-clues:** asd ,, thats autistic spectrum disorder, right? my apologies, i should have been more aware of what my words were causing

**tornado-hair:** i see. i will be more mindful of this in the future.

**an-actual-thug:** shoot sorry man, ill be careful in the future, promise

**the-monopoly-man:** im terribly sorry, leon. i did not realize my words affected you so negatively. i will be cautious of that in the future.

**haha-balls:** skdjfkd thank u guys <33

**blues-clues:** anytime

**tornado-hair:** of course.

**an-actual-thug:** yeah bro, if you ever need anything my dms are always open <3

**the-monopoly-man:** mmh.

**poached-or-fried:** so an knee ways

**poached-or-fried:** i can type normally now bc my head isnt pounding so thats a plus

**im-in:** oh thank god i was sick of trying to decipher ur incoherent keysmashes

**poached-or-fried:** ayo this brown haired twink boutta make me act up

**an-actual-thug:** do u mean chi or urself

**poached-or-fried:** shut ur hole

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> theyre just cute bffs ok


	19. im-in: tech week is also known as hell week on wikipedia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the theater kids hate tech week. and the word 'play'.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just me projecting my phantom of the opera experiences onto my favorite characters heehee <3
> 
> uhhhhhhh so now you have to wait until i write another chapter bc this is the last one in my drafts as of now teehee

**an-actual-thug:** hey guys did you hear about the school play? myuzu’s doing costume work for it, its tonight i think

**im-in:** ldshfk hiss hiss get away hiss hiss

**fine-line:** babe dont remind me pls

**haha-balls:** say the p word again i dare you

**poached-or-fried:** ew ew ew ew get away get away

**an-actual-thug:** wait whatd i say? i just said there was a play coming up

**fine-line:** there it is again skjdfhkshdf

**poached-or-fried:** [clutches playbill] hellish spirit begone

**im-in:** oh my god ew ew thats gross get it away

**haha-balls:** i am disgusted, i am revolted, i dedicate my life to our lord and savior marie joseph paul yves roch gilbert du motier marquis de lafayette and this is the thanks i get

**walmart-vocaloid:** whats going on is there something im missing

**a-homeless-pothead:** you guys i got the stuff you asked for come pick it up

**im-in:** gasp…………..yess finally, omw

**fine-line:** omw!! all hail yasuhiro ,,

**haha-balls:** makotos too tired to get up so im carrying him there but he let out a sleepy but excited ‘yay’ and i did too

**poached-or-fried:** yay

**an-actual-thug:** wait you guys arent buying drugs are you

**haha-balls:** no

**im-in:** we’re not, its just coffee that yasuhiro ordered for us bc we’re all too dead tired to go get it ourselves

**the-monopoly-man:** i thought taka and makoto didn’t like coffee.

**poached-or-fried:** we don’t but we need the caffeine babe

**the-monopoly-man:** why

**poached-or-fried:** babe we’re i n the musical

**poached-or-fried:** and its tech week

**im-in:** hey fun fact

**im-in:** tech week is also known as hell week on wikipedia

**fine-line:** sounds about right

**an-actual-thug:** damn that bad?

**fine-line:** sweetheart ive done five quick changes from a floor length dress with a petticoat to full body armor in heels it is that bad

**an-actual-thug:** quick changes are changes that are like. under two minutes right?

**fine-line:** yeah

**an-actual-thug:** shiiii

**im-in:** ahhh much better

**haha-balls:** yasuhiro is godsend sfh

**poached-or-fried:** yayy

**fine-line:** that is a lot better :)

**bruhh-girl:** oh i heard about the musical!! you guys are doing phantom of the opera right?

**fine-line:** yep!

**tornado-hair:** ah, a fine choice. who got cast as who?

**poached-or-fried:** im playing christine!

**im-in:** im playing carlotta :)

**haha-balls:** im playing raoul :)

**fine-line:** i am playing erik :)

**the-monopoly-man:** god i wish i were playing erik

_ [ _ **_the-monopoly-man_ ** _ deleted one (1) message!] _

**haha-balls:** dont be shy uncensor that

**the-monopoly-man:** no <3

**a-homeless-pothead:** sometimes i wonder how byakuya learned to speak like that and then i look at makoto and i think ‘oh’

**poached-or-fried:** idk whether to feel offended or honored

**hard-boiled:** the last one is right

☁

**fine-line:** fksd musical’s in an hour!! get backstage you three yumiko and myuzu wont wait forever

**im-in:** i bet myuzu would wait for one of us ;)

**haha-balls:** actually shut your mouth

**im-in:** hehe no <3

**an-actual-thug:** leon do u ,, , do u have the hots for the guy who tried to strangle me ??

**haha-balls:** you dont know anything about that

**an-actual-thug:** so you do

**haha-balls:** listen,

**im-in:** oh my god lmaoo taka just snatched leon’s collar and dragged him backstage before he could explain im quakinfjshfckh

**im-in:** oh shoot hes after me too i gotta rujshdbfhj

**poached-or-fried:** lmao when ur backstage early

**im-in:** shut

☁

**an-actual-thug:** so im assuming they wont be on their phones during the musical

**walmart-vocaloid:** duh they gotta be onstage and if theyre backstage and texting the whole audience will hear it

**an-actual-thug:** alright

☁

**a-homeless-pothead:** myuzu really just called nekomaru on mondo for trying to get backstage im shaking the p o w e r

**an-actual-thug:** shut ur mouth i just wanted to see ishi before the performance

**a-homeless-pothead:** mondo u and our class are literally front row he could lean down and kiss you from the stage if he wanted

**an-actual-thug:** its not the s a me

**blues-clues:** you’re literally hopeless.

☁

**a-homeless-pothead:** ok im muting bc the production is starting. if yall r gonna livetweet/text, turn ur brightness wayy down

**walmart-vocaloid:** u got it chief

☁

**walmart-vocaloid:** oh my gosh leon n chihiro look so good!!! myuzu outdid himself this time and omgs they look so good

**bruhh-girl:** i can see the freaking pettiskirt n heels from here how is chihiro walking???

**an-actual-thug:** how is leon walking??????????? that suit looks so stiff and tailored holy hell

**bruhh-girl:** its theater i guess who knows

**walmart-vocaloid:** shhh makoto’s gonna come onstage after this song!!!!

☁

**walmart-vocaloid:** lmao you guys look at byakuya

**bruhh-girl:** oh my god i dont think ive seen his face go so red before

**blues-clues:** haha, byakuya goes brrr.

**blues-clues:** did i do it right?

**tornado-hair:** kjshf yes love, that was excellent

☁

**walmart-vocaloid:** woahhh taka looks so pretty!!! love the little staff thing hes got going on

**bruhh-girl:** lmao mondo’s face

**an-actual-thug:** f;lks’p</

**bruhh-girl:** oh so its b a d bad

**the-monopoly-man:** please refrain from texting during the production. you can text during the intermission.

**bruhh-girl:** mk

☁

**a-homeless-pothead:** damn u guys rly went for mondo n byakuya’s throats dkjf

**haha-tongue-go-brrr:** we love to see it <3

**the-monopoly-man:** shut up, you used to have a crush on me

**haha-tongue-go-brrr:** you pissed the bed in march last year because hiro played the earrape monsters inc theme under your door while you were sleeping

**the-monopoly-man:** s h u t u p n o w

**haha-tongue-go-brrr:** hehe <3

**blues-clues:** gotta love bully byakuya hours

**the-monopoly-man:** you’re all stupid

**poached-or-fried:** :(

**the-monopoly-man:** except for you, makoto

**poached-or-fried:** :) !!

**poached-or-fried:** oh i gotta go now! we’re onstage in ten and i need to get my makeup redone for the final scene!

**the-monopoly-man:** oh no

**tornado-hair:** oh yes

**bruhh-girl:** wait whats gonna happen

**tornado-hair:** makoto will be in a pettiskirt

**bruhh-girl:** lmao good luck byakuya

**the-monopoly-man:** shut your mouth

☁

**bruhh-girl:** that was. so tragic ,, , i wanna cry dsjljkds

**tornado-hair:** indeed. they put on quite the performance, i’m impressed.

**haha-tongue-go-brrr:** did you see how red byakuya was when we went backstage and makoto ran up to him with a hug, still in his dress??

**an-actual-thug:** wtf no???? send pics rn

**haha-tongue-go-brrr:** _ [ 2 attachments ] _

**an-actual-thug:** oh my god hes redder than mars

**the-monopoly-man:** ggo screw urselff im a ffull grwn mman

**bruhh-girl:** lmao loser

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> love them


	20. haha-balls: renegay renegay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> taka learns to throw it back and hiro has a date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh no

**haha-balls:** ohmygodddddd chem is so boring

**an-actual-thug:** lmao sucks

**haha-balls:** shut up

**poached-or-fried:** its not that bad lee, we’re at the same table, so i can help!!

**haha-balls:** i love one man /p

**poached-or-fried:** ^^ ilyt <3 /p

**a-homeless-pothead:** makoto can i get some love too pls

**poached-or-fried:** uhhhhhhh

**poached-or-fried:** idk ,, , u kinda smelly tho

**a-homeless-pothead:** wow ok i see how it is

**a-homeless-pothead:** hope my date later today treats me better hmph

**poached-or-fried:** oh u have a date?? congrats!!!

**haha-balls:** hiro w a date in this economy???? im astounded

**bruhh-girl:** ooh who’s the lucky girl?? or guy?? or person??

**a-homeless-pothead:** uhhhhhhh idk bc he told me i’ll know his name once we get to go on a date but he’s a ravenette and he’s apparently a bike mechanic

**haha-balls:** oh maybe mondo knows the guy haha

**an-actual-thug:** lmao i doubt it, we dont have mechanics we just fix it on our own or ask for that soda kid’s help

**haha-balls:** oh ok lmao

♣

**mako:** are we still stealing taka to teach him the ways of tiktok

**leon:** bet

**mako:** then its settled

♣

**haha-balls:** yes lunchtime!!!!!

**poached-or-fried:** hell yeah :)

**haha-balls:** makoto, you know what to do

**poached-or-fried:** he’s walking with his bf, of course

**haha-balls:** go go get im go

**poached-or-fried:** oh my god okay

**haha-balls:** ill be waiting in the bathroom <3

☁

**an-actual-thug:** what the hell just happened

**an-actual-thug:** makoto why did you steal taka and bring him into the bathroom

**an-actual-thug:** l e o n w h a t a r e y o u d o i n g i n t h e b a t h r o o m

**walmart-vocaloid:** this is the strangest timeline

**a-homeless-pothead:** oh no are they doing what i think theyre doing

**an-actual-thug:** hey op what the hiddly heck does that mean

**a-homeless-pothead:** look in the bathroom in exactly 13 seconds

**a-homeless-pothead:** d o i t

**an-actual-thug:** wh ,, , ok???

**bruhh-girl:** oh dear

☁

**an-actual-thug:** hjik8;]u

**a-homeless-pothead:** yay it worked

**haha-tongue-go-brrr:** what happened??

**haha-balls:** mndo jhst walkoed in on mkoto nd i teachbing taka how to throw iy back an he got so flustered in sobbijng iklfhksfs

**poached-or-fried:** lnfao i cant breathekdbs ;; .,’

**haha-tongue-go-brrr:** oh my god???????

**hard-boiled:** can he do it now tho

**poached-or-fried:** oh yeahj

**haha-balls:** were tyhe opnly ones in the cass whp now how to hrw it back taka learbed rom the b est , ,lk

**the-monopoly-man:** what is ‘throwing it back’? what are you throwing back?

**poached-or-fried:** im,,

**haha-balls:** sh nobody tell him

**bruhh-girl:** hh

**a-homeless-pothead:** i would explain but i gotta get ready for my date, taka if you will

**fine-line:** oh brb guys!! i gotta help hiro get ready, theyve been super pumped for this date :)

**bruhh-girl:** have fun hiro!!

**haha-balls:** yeah gl bro!!! :)

**poached-or-fried:** we’ll be rooting for u :)

**a-homeless-pothead:** thanks yall

♠

“ i don’t know . . what if he doesn’t like the way i look or act or seem ? or what if he’s actually a creep ? or is standing me up ? ” hiro fussed nervously as taka fixed his tie. 

“ i know it’s dumb to be so worried , but . . this is my first date . i can’t afford to mess this up . . ”

as taka tied the final perfect knot in the tie, secured the belt on the clean dark slacks myuzu had given him for this occasion, and rolled up the sleeves of hiro’s clean white button up, he pulled back with a reassuring smile.

“ hiro , i’m sure whoever this guy is will love you . who knows ? life has a weird way of twisting and turning with the wind . ”

hiro still couldn’t wrap their head around the fact that taka seemed to speak with a wiser, more knowing tone ever since he began dating mondo.

“ and besides , if he doesn’t like you , he’s missing out . you’re incredible , and any guy would be lucky to have you . ”

hiro chuckled softly, itching the back of their head nervously. 

“ i guess so . . ”

taka smiles and pulls hiro’s long dreadlocks into a high ponytail, tying it with a large clasp. he pulls back and does a last check before smiling.

“ you’re all set . go win this guy’s heart , hiro . ”

the taller student nodded with a smile before leaving taka’s room, heading to the parking lot in the back of the school and getting into their car. they double checked the address they were sent before driving there, not really paying attention to anything but their surroundings and their rising excitement.

they got to the restaurant faster than they’d expected, so they simply walked in and asked for a reservation for two. the waitress, seemingly knowing who they were here for, guided them to a table where a black haired guy was sitting. from what they could see, the guy was a nice build, kinda pale, and had one of those sexy slicked-back hairstyles that had hiro’s heart melting. was this guy formed out of what hiro’s type was?

before they could say anything, the guy seemed to notice they were there and stood, towering over hiro by a couple of inches, which was slightly terrifying because hiro was 5’10”, which meant this guy was about six feet, maybe more.

and then the guy turned around.

holy crap.

his face was chiseled, more so than adonis himself, and he had playful yet deep set eyes of a dark raven color and a smirk and a nice deep colored leather jacket over a white tank top that let hiro see a  _ lot _ of things and holy heck hiro was absolutely paralyzed.

“ uh - um - ”

the guy simply chuckled.

“ i’m not that ugly , am i ? ”

oh no. he most definitely was not. he was the absolute definition of beauty. he was the most gorgeous man hiro had ever laid eyes on.

and something about that teasing tone told hiro that this guy was well aware of that fact.

“ uh - sorry . no , you’re not ugly at all . i’m just a mess . ”

the guy laughed gently. “ i get it , first date jitters . why don’t you sit down ? ”

hiro nodded, trying to ignore their dry mouth and sitting down across from the guy. they fidgeted with a loose lock of their hair nervously as they tried to form a sentence.

“ uh - you know my name . what’s yours ? ”

the guy smiled. “ right to the chase , huh ? that’s alright , i like that in a person . ”

hiro chuckled, cheeks turning pink at the guy’s voice. pretty voice pretty voice holy crap. the guy continued with a smile that was more kind than overconfident. hiro’s heart fluttered at that.

“ anyways , as for your question , pretty thing ; you can call me daiya . daiya owada . ”

wait . . . what ?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> imagine mondo finding out who his brother is now dating
> 
> ( i know i said daiya and michi were dating but i'll get to that give me a sec )


	21. [ hiro ☙ is calling . . . ]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hiro and taka have a boy's night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> #YASUHIRO: not to be lewd on main but ,, , daiya kinda cute doe

kiyotaka ishimaru was comfortable.

he was cuddling with his boyfriend in the latter’s room, watching that one reality sitcom that mondo liked to watch, if only for the purpose of complaining about how petty or dumb some of the people were. 

they’d gone for ice cream down the street and a leisurely walk in the butterfly gardens in the school, chatting about academics, personal life, and other things as they walked, their laughter contagious.

the entire time, a thought continued to linger in his mind.

how was hiro doing on their date?

he tried to push it away in favor of spending time with his beloved, but he continued to worry about his friend. he had to pray that this mystery guy would treat them right.

however, as he was peppering kisses along mondo’s cheek for being so damn adorable, he felt his phone buzz in his pocket. he pulled it out and checked the caller id, but not before mondo pouted at not being babied by his lover.

“ who is it , babe ? ”

“ it’s hiro . ”

immediately as he had read the caller id, worry was gnawing at his gut. did something go wrong during the date?

“ i’m gonna take this call in private . is that okay , love ? ”

mondo smiled softly.

“ yeah . you told me hiro had a date tonight , right ? they’ve gotta be nervous about sum ‘ n that happened . go ahead and calm ‘ im down , i’ll be waiting . ”

“ you’re the best . thank you , mon . ”

“ ‘ s nothin ‘ , sweetums . ”

he smiled gratefully and stepped outside to take the call. as soon as he pressed the green button, he could hear hiro’s panicked voice. concern and panic immediately filled his head.

“ hiro ? what’s wrong , did something happen ? do you need me to come pick you up ? was he rude or triggering to you ? ”

“ n - no , that’s not it , taks . he was the sweetest guy i’ve ever met , and he kissed my hand goodbye when we were done like a prince . a prince , taka ! ” 

“ so . . . you’re calling to squeal about him ? ”

“ oh , i’m gonna get to that , trust me . he’s definitely worth squealing over , but there’s a tiiiiiny problem . ”

taka’s brows furrowed as he listened. a problem?

“ what’s wrong ? not your type ? ”

“ oh no . oh no no no . he is most definitely my type . he’s got a motorcycle and muscles and slicked back hair and pretty eyes , and oh my god oh my god , my heart’s sizzling . but there’s one complication about him that regards  _ your _ boyfriend . . ”

“ . . what’s that ? ”

“ . . . ever heard of one daiya owada ? ”

taka’s mouth fell open.

“ hiro . please , for the love of god , tell me and confirm to me that you’re dating daiya owada , brother of my boyfriend and former leader of the crazy diamonds . ”

“ yeah , i - wait , you’re not angry about it ? ”

even through the phone, taka could practically see the confusion coming out of hiro’s tone of voice.

“ why would i be ? daiya seems like a good match for you , i’m happy for the two of you . although . . . meeting the lover with mondo and him will definitely cause some issues . . ”

“ i know ! how am i gonna tell mondo i’m dating his brother ? ! he’ll beat me to a bloody pulp ! ”

“ daiya won’t let him . and anyway , i thought he was dating michi ? ”

“ michi ? he said they broke up mutually because michi was seeing someone else and he wasn’t daiya’s type . he said they’re still best friends . ”

“ ohh . . i’ll need to follow up with him on that . anyways , what do you think of him ? ”

bad idea.

for the next fifteen minutes, taka was subjected to a long spiel about how pretty daiya’s eyes were and how his smile made hiro’s heart flutter and twitch. he didn’t mind the fact that hiro needed to rant about how pretty his date was, but they had a tendency to talk about...unmentionables.

he interrupted and hung up just in time, before hiro could start talking about daiya’s pecs.

entering the room, mondo immediately engulfed him into a hug.

“ hey there , beautiful . how’s hiro ? ”

“ they’re fine . i think they enjoyed their date very much . ”

“ really ? who was the guy ? gotta make sure they don’t go around breakin ‘ hiro’s heart . ”

“ hiro never gave me a name . sorry , dear . ”

“ ‘ s alright , shnookums . jus ‘ glad the idjit’s finally gettin ‘ some . ”

“ mondo , you know that talk isn’t allowed on school campus . ”

the taller male huffed, dragging taka over to the bed.

“ didn’t stop ya last time , taks . who knew you were a screamer ? ”

the ravenette flushed, but didn’t say anything, opting to instead wrap his arms around mondo’s neck and pull him in for a long kiss. the biker obliged, but chuckled as their lips met.

“ is that the melon chapstick i got you ? ”

“ yeah . ”

“ tastes good . want more . ”

“ m ‘ kay . ”

and taka was able to temporarily forget about hiro dating his boyfriend’s brother and his (hopefully) future brother in law.

☁

of course, that all changed when hiro got back.

mondo had something to do with the gang, so taka was alone in his room, playing music while he worked on his homework and waited for his boyfriend to get back.

when the knock on his door reached his ears, he had opened the door expecting his tall loving boyfriend.

but he supposed seeing hiro red faced and looking like they were about to explode wasn’t much of a surprise either.

“ hiro , come in . ”

the clairvoyant nodded and walked in. taka noted that hiro’s ponytail was undone, their dreadlocks loose and...kinda messy.

wait -

“ did you two get down and dirty ? ! ”

“ what ? ! no ! he just ran his hands through my hair . . said it looked fun to play with . . . hnghh , he’s so cute and so mysterious and playful and just so - so - ughh ! ! taka , how did you deal with going on a date with an owada ? ! ”

“ i’m a dark haired person who won monchan’s heart by having a nice butt . ”

“ that explains it , i guess . ”

taka listened to hiro ramble about daiya while both students sat on the bed, hiro laying down while hugging a pillow and taka sitting criss cross. while hiro’s rambling was completely valid, taka felt minorly weirded out in a lighthearted way that his brother figure was being referred to with such terms.

at one point, hiro said something about daiya’s pecs, and taka jokingly wrinkled his nose.

“ eww , that’s my brother figure . gross . ”

“ shut up , he’s hot . ”

“ he’s really not my type , but to each their own . ”

they continued talking for a while, hiro soon busting out the nail polish as they chatted about grades, drugs, and boys...in no particular order.

hiro left the room with some newfound information on how to win over daiya’s heart during their next date, which was scheduled by none other than the charming former gang leader himself.

oh, they also left with a nice manicure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> theyre soft :)
> 
> anyways if anybody has any ideas for the next few chappies could yall spill?? possibly including leon n myuzu??


	22. im-in: ayo dad that overreacts to everything checkk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> mondo finds out about something and taka helps a friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeah i'm projecting my daddy issues onto chihiro what about it <3

**haha-balls:** hey hiro howd ur date go??

**bruhh-girl:** hey yeah!! how was it hiro??

**a-homeless-pothead:** hh gn k h -- -

**fine-line:** theyre recovering bc they think their date was hot

**an-actual-thug:** wait you actually had a date??

**a-homeless-pothead:** screw u too

**a-homeless-pothead:** but uhhh it went well

**haha-tongue-go-brrr:** spill!! give us details!! what happened?

**a-homeless-pothead:** well uhh

**a-homeless-pothead:** we went to this one restaurant by the harbor

**a-homeless-pothead:** then afterward we went out to walk on the beach

**a-homeless-pothead:** and he took me for a ride on his motorcycle after we dropped my car off at the dorms

**a-homeless-pothead:** we’re going out for coffee on saturday

**im-in:** thats so cute hiro!! im so happy for you :)

**haha-balls:** yeah !! also you should send a picture of this guy

**a-homeless-pothead:** oh he said he doesn’t really like pictures

**a-homeless-pothead:** also he wants to keep it on the down low for now for personal reasons so i cant tell you guys his name

**a-homeless-pothead:** and before you start saying ‘oh lmao hes probably not real then haha’

**a-homeless-pothead:** taka can testify, and you know the man cannot lie at all

**fine-line:** that is correct! hiro did have a date last night and he rambled all about it to me once he got back !

**bruhh-girl:** well i believed you before but that just proves it

**tornado-hair:** they do seem like the type of person to freak out about a simple little crush.

**blues-clues:** babe you have no room to talk

**tornado-hair:** shh

**poached-or-fried:** congrats hiro!!!! i hope this guy makes you happy :)

**the-monopoly-man:** indeed. congratulations on finding someone attracted to unkempt stoner scam artists.

**poached-or-fried:** byakuya!! thats not nice at all, apologize!!

**the-monopoly-man:** ,, , ugh ,, do i have to?

**poached-or-fried:** now, please

**the-monopoly-man:** ,, , , sorry hiro

**a-homeless-pothead:** its fine byakuya :)

**poached-or-fried:** see, was that so hard?

**the-monopoly-man:** ,, ,,,, , no

**poached-or-fried:** :)

**haha-tongue-go-brrr:** makoto, the ultimate byakuya wrangler

**the-monopoly-man:** shut up

☁

**im-in:** ayo dad that overreacts to everything checkk

**fine-line:** chihiro are you in danger? did something happen with you and your dad? are you going to be alright?

**im-in:** myt dad hust emailed me sayibng he was fonna killl me if i was caughdt looking fot biners for myself n majjoto agn

**im-in:** normally i wouk,lndt be scared but iidk if hrs jojinh tgid tme

**fine-line:** im coming over right now, please stay there and don’t hesitate to call cps if needed

**im-in:** thansj thou

**an-actual-thug:** should i come over?

**im-in:** nno mpre ppkl pls

**im-in:** i odnt eanna feel crobwded

**an-actual-thug:** alright, pls stay safe chi :(

**bruhh-girl:** holy crap

**walmart-vocaloid:** please be okay chihiro :(

☁

**im-in:** hg hh i feel better now sjdfhkd

**an-actual-thug:** did u call cps chi?

**im-in:** yeaj

**im-in:** i called them n they said they would take my dad away

**im-in:** i just got called back and i heard my dad struggling in the background

**an-actual-thug:** thats good chi!! r u feeling better? do u need me to come over?

**im-in:** ill be fine mon

**an-actual-thug:** <3

**im-in:** hh <3

**fine-line:** chi do you want to stay in my room? i have ambient music and i made sure to remove or put away all medicinal substances in my room

**im-in:** can i? pls

**fine-line:** of course!! my door will always be open if you need to talk

**im-in:** hngg u guys are the best ily guys /p

**fine-line:** of course chi!! /p

**an-actual-thug:** yeah bud we’re always here for u <3 /p

**haha-balls:** i hope ur okay chi :(( thats gotta suck, im so sorry

**im-in:** nah dont be ,, , its all over now im gonna be okay

**haha-balls:** makoto cant get on bc his phone just died but he says that hes happy its over and that hes always here if u wanna talk to him

**im-in:** hh g ty koto <3 /p

**haha-balls:** he sends a heart emoji

**im-in:** :)

**im-in:** can we switch to a lihter subjet now pls

**a-homeless-pothead:** sure thing chi :) i have a story for you

**im-in:** ooh

**a-homeless-pothead:** so leon and myuzu were talking today at the window by the staircase

**haha-tongue-go-brrr:** wait wait stop

**a-homeless-pothead:** what

**haha-tongue-go-brrr:** okay now continue

**hard-boiled:** i got her popcorn

**a-homeless-pothead:** banger

**a-homeless-pothead:** anyway so

**a-homeless-pothead:** they were talking

**a-homeless-pothead:** and right before they leave for fourth period, myuzu laughs quietly ish at something leon said and waves him goodbye before walking away

**a-homeless-pothead:** and leon just stands there for a good thirty seconds, staring at where myuzu left before taking a step towards the stairs and tripping on the first one

**a-homeless-pothead:** and he just. laid there for about five seconds before getting up and running to class with a face that looked like a genuine tomato

**the-monopoly-man:** i’ll be rubbing it in your face when i catch you two making out in your room, leon.

**haha-balls:** wtf u were there?? thude how could u >:’(

**a-homeless-pothead:** :/

**im-in:** what. what is thude

**a-homeless-pothead:** dude but mashed up with they/them

**im-in:** leon by law you are now government assigned to call me that

**haha-balls:** ok thude

**im-in:** hh h ,, , ,,

**an-actual-thug:** hold on you guys daiya is calling me ill brb

**fine-line:** see ya babe!!

**a-homeless-pothead:** suddenly i am scared

**fine-line:** oh

**fine-line:** wait

☁

mondo had closed out of the chat before he could see what hiro was typing, instead opting to pick up the call with a smile.

“ hey there , dai . ”

instead of a greeting back, he was met with a loud scream, muffled by what the younger brother assumed was a pillow or something.

“ woah , hey , what’s goin ‘ on ? usually yer so collected , what happened ? ”

_ “ i got a date . mondo , i got myself a date . ” _

that definitely surprised mondo. he had, of course, heard of the mutual breakup between his brother and michi, but he didn’t realize daiya would be out and about looking for any new bunnies this fast.

“ really ? how long ya think this one’ll last ? ”

_ “ mondo , i’m not kidding . i really like them . i think they like me too . we’re going out again in four days . four days , mondo . i don’t know about you , but . . i really want to see where this goes . i think this one will . . i think this one might last . ” _

a slight pause as mondo took in the seriousness of those words.

“ yer serious ? ”

_ “ mm . ” _

“ what’s their name ? ”

_ “ they told me not to say for private reasons . ” _

“ oh , that’s funny . there’s someone in my class who just started dating someone too , but in private . imagine the chances , right ? ”

a laugh on the other line.

_ “ yeah , haha . imagine if that kid was actually the person i’ve been seeing . ” _

“ nah , doubt it . unless you’re into chaotic kids who live off of red bull ‘ n pot . ”

daiya laughed, and mondo could feel himself relaxing into that same routine of their calls. it was always nice to talk to daiya; mondo felt like he could tell his brother anything at all.

_ “ i dunno , man . this person doesn’t look like they live off of that , but they’re definitely cute . definitely not a kid either . ” _

“ eww , stop gettin ‘ all sappy over some kid that might be in my class . ‘ s my job . ”

_ “ trust me , it won’t be anyone in your class unless your class has a twenty one year old , five foot eleven , tan skinned cutie with dreadlocks and a hot stubble . ” _

mondo started to laugh, but he trailed off as his mind took those words in.

tan skin . . twenty one . . five foot eleven . . dreadlocks . . stubble . .

. . .

wait.

wait wait wait.

no.

oh my god.

no no no.

“ this so called cutie’s name wouldn’t happen to be yasuhiro hagakure , would it ? ! ”

a pause.

then...

_ “ . . . how did you know their name ? ” _

mondo’s jaw went slack. how had he not pieced it together before?! hiro was dating his brother?! he felt his heart bump loudly in his ears as he tried to focus, his emotions indiscernible.

“ daiya , tell me right now that you aren’t dating yasuhiro hagakure , my tall homeless - looking stoner scam artist classmate . ”

_ “ . . . oops ? ” _

the line clicked.

and mondo was sitting there, phone in hand as he tried to process this.

once he was able to regain his senses and not sit there like an idiot, he clicked on the contact he used second most to daiya.

the line picked up almost immediately.

_ “ hello , mondo . why are you - ” _

“ taka , i swear to god , did you know about hiro dating my  _ brother _ ? ! ”

a pause on the other line. 

_ “ did you want me to tell you ? ” _

mondo was barely able to mute himself in time before he let out a confused yell.

he let himself get out his emotion until his throat was raw and his voice was hoarse as he unmuted himself.

once he did unmute himself, taka spoke.

_ “ are you angry ? ” _

“ . . . no . ”

_ “ why’s that ? ” _

“ i want what’s best for daiya . and i want him ta be happy . even if that means he’s dating the dumbest person in our class . ”

_ “ you’re handling this well , mondo . i’m proud . ” _

“ hnghh . thanks , babe . ”

_ “ i know that tone . would you like me to come over ? ” _

“ please ? ”

the rustling of papers and the click of a pen filled the speakers before taka spoke again.

_ “ i’ll be there in under a minute , dearest . ” _

“ thanks , sunshine . ”

_ “ of course . ” _

then the line clicked, and mondo was left there with his thoughts and the feeling of...relief.

hiro dating his brother wasn’t exactly a bad thing, per se.

he just never knew his brother had a thing for the homeless-looking ones.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 3.3k hits and almost 300 kudos????????? i am Seeing ,, , in all reality tho hh ty guys sm it means everything <33
> 
> the thing with chi's dad may be touched on in the future
> 
> also we'll get mondo fawning over taka in the next chapter while singing some unlikely songs so stay tuned for that <3
> 
> comments and kudos are appreciated!!
> 
> stay tuned!!


	23. bruhh-girl: im making this into a copypasta i dont care what you say

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> mondo sings some unlikely songs, neo/xenopronouns for leon n chihiro, and komaru saying something heavily cursed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uhhh if u dont support neo/xenopronouns then. idk why ur here but can u get out pls :D

**an-actual-thug:** fbjbh

**fine-line:** babe i told u to calm down

**an-actual-thug:** i a m c a l m

**tornado-hair:** what is going on this time

**an-actual-thug:** tell hagakure to get their entire self online rn

**a-homeless-pothead:** im here wassup

**an-actual-thug:** you didnt tell me you were dating my brother???????

**a-homeless-pothead:** oh u found out lmao

**an-actual-thug:** yeah i did???????

**a-homeless-pothead:** are you , ,, ,, angry?

**an-actual-thug:** im not really angry, just. surprised

**an-actual-thug:** like what are the chances yknow?

**a-homeless-pothead:** ik

**a-homeless-pothead:** but like. thanks for not being mad

**a-homeless-pothead:** i wouldnt want u or daidai to get mad

**an-actual-thug:** yeah yeah

**poached-or-fried:** woah woah hold the mfin phone

**poached-or-fried:** hiro’s dating mondo’s brother?????????????

**a-homeless-pothead:** yeah lmao

**poached-or-fried:** im getting the first wedding invite

**fine-line:** bet

**poached-or-fried:** sometime it still rattles me to hear taka saying things like bet n poggers but um anyways

**poached-or-fried:** congrats hiro!!

**the-monopoly-man:** whatever.

**flower-thats-it:** that’s wonderful. i’m happy for you two.

**bruhh-girl:** yeah!! congrats you two :))

**haha-balls:** lmao get some hiro

**a-homeless-pothead:** thanks yall :)

**walmart-vocaloid:** hey taka did you try on the. yknow

**fine-line:** yes i did, sayaka!! it looks very nice, thank you for getting it for me!! very poggers!!

**an-actual-thug:** woah woah slow down what did you try on?

**fine-line:** oh, i’ll send a picture right now!

**fine-line:** _ [ 1 attachment ] _

**bruhh-girl:** woahh taka u look amazing!!

**tornado-hair:** it definitely suits him.

**an-actual-thug:** fffffffffff

**blues-clues:** you look nice, taka. but also

**blues-clues:** ‘f’ in the chat for mondo.

**im-in:** omfg big f haha

**haha-balls:** f!!

**a-homeless-pothead:** f

**fine-line:** is everything okay, mondo? why are they saying f to you?

**an-actual-thug:** y yeah babe im fine hhaha

**fine-line:** okay, if you say so! :)

**poached-or-fried:** uhhh not to break up a tender moment but who tf playing taylor swift so loud omg

**fine-line:** oh, the music is taylor swift? it’s coming from mondo’s room :)

**haha-balls:** iudfhskjdhfif omg what?????????

**a-homeless-pothead:** mondo?? listening to ts???? in this economy???????? i am. shook to my core

**an-actual-thug:** leave me alone im trying to project

**im-in:** pspspspsps

☁

**the-monopoly-man:** it is two in the afternoon. i set down my copy of the ‘a midsummer’s night dream’ transcript and exit my room to go have tea with makoto like he requested. all of a sudden, in the direction of one mondo owada’s room, i hear an undeniably masculine voice beltiing out the lyrics to the chorus of ‘you belong with me’ by taylor swift. i slowly back into my room and tell makoto to come to my dorm instead.

**an-actual-thug:** stfu im vibing

**bruhh-girl:** im making that into a copypasta i dont care what you say

**haha-balls:** so thats what that was

**an-actual-thug:** shut ur mouth rn or ill steal ur elbows

**a-homeless-pothead:** skjdfkjdf

**im-in:** hey uh. guys

**im-in:** i was kinda hoping u guys cld help me try smth out

**poached-or-fried:** yeah chi!! whats up

**haha-balls:** whats hip hop happenin

**fine-line:** what is it you need, chihiro?

**im-in:** hh. uh.

**im-in:** i was. kinda hoping you cld use xey/xem pronouns for me for the day?

**im-in:** just to see if it clicks

**im-in:** if not then thats fine i just wanted to see if i could go by that as well as they/them

**fine-line:** of course, chihiro! we’d be more than happy to refer to you by these pronouns!

**poached-or-fried:** yeah ofc chi!!

**haha-balls:** sure thing :) i was kinda considering using purr/purrs pronouns as well as he/him but i had no clue how to bring it up so.

**bruhh-girl:** you two are so fking valid omgs

**poached-or-fried:** sure thing leon!!

**fine-line:** attention, please! these two are some of my best friends, chihiro and leon! chihiro is very kind and xey are always someone you can confide in, and leon is a very outgoing person! purr likes cheering people up, so please make sure to respect both of their pronouns!

**an-actual-thug:** yall valid omgs

**an-actual-thug:** uh hi this is my friend chihiro and xey’re super smart

**an-actual-thug:** n this is my friend leon n purrs very stupid but is also nice

**haha-balls:** hh thank u guys

**im-in:** thank you, mondo!! and thank you to all of you!! <3

**an-actual-thug:** anytime chi

**fine-line:** of course!!

**poached-or-fried:** yeah ofc!! anything to make u guys feel validated <33

**hard-boiled:** eight egg vibrators and a dildo stuffed into a hourse’s behind on a plane while ocean man plays in the background

**poached-or-fried:** komaru???????

**haha-alls:** hey shorter naegi what the heck

**hard-boiled:** oh my god oh my god wait wrong chat i swear wrong chat

**poached-or-fried:** explain urself rn or im sending it to mom n dad

_ [  _ **_hard-boiled_ ** _ has left the chat! ] _

_ [  _ **_poached-or-fried_ ** _ has added  _ **_komaru naegi_ ** _ to the chat! ] _

_ [  _ **_poached-or-fried_ ** _ has changed one (1) nickname! ] _

**hard-boiled:** shoot

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i am so sorry


	24. hard-boiled: watch me crash the whole thing with beer bottles and a mercedes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> they talk music and twitter layouts and hiro has some news.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yess i got it done before ao3 closed for maintenance :D

**haha-balls:** guys guys guys guys guys

**haha-balls:** guuuuuuuuuuuuys guys

**an-actual-thug:** what

**haha-balls:** i just had brainwave

**poached-or-fried:** what is it

**bruhh-girl:** spill!!!!!

**fine-line:** what is it, leon?

**im-in:** whats poppin

**haha-balls:** ok i want u guys to send ur song n band preferences and ill assign u guys aesthetics thru seccxy twt layouts

**haha-balls:** go hog wild dont be afraid to say anything

**haha-balls:** also excluding musicals bc i cant use the same layout for all of u

**poached-or-fried:** the 1975, i can’t handle change by roar, and mr loverman by ricky montgomery

**haha-balls:** jesus everything ok????

**haha-balls:**

****

****

**tornado-hair:** melanie martinez, flyday chinatown by yasuha, and maria by hwasa

**haha-balls:**

****

****

**blues-clues:** church choir music and beethoven

**haha-balls:**

****

****

**the-monopoly-man:** blackbear, rico nasty, and megan thee stallion

**haha-balls:** damn who knew byakuya wld be into rico nasty??

**haha-balls:**

****

****

**an-actual-thug:** guns n roses, fall out boy, and dancing queen by abba

**haha-balls:** nice taste

**haha-balls:**

****

****

**fine-line:** joji, sufjan stevens, and ala mode by mindless self indulgence!!

**haha-balls:** ooh u listen to msi??? hmu bro /p

**an-actual-thug:** hey thats my bf

**haha-balls:** i put the /p there for a reason biker boy

**haha-balls:**

****

****

**im-in:** cigarette ahegao by penelope scott, grlwood, and where’s my juul by full tac

**haha-balls:** not bad not bad

**haha-balls:**

****

****

**walmart-vocaloid:** literal legend by ayesha erotica, money machine by 100 gecs, and black dress by clc

**haha-balls:** damn yall got taste

**haha-balls:**

****

****

**flower-thats-it:** that one lofi radio on youtube

**haha-balls:**

****

****

**haha-tongue-go-brrr:** saccharine by jazmin bean, my axe by uh. idk their name and ummm.. lemon demon

**haha-balls:**

****

****

**bruhh-girl:** pop culture by madeon, five seconds of summer, and girl in red

**haha-balls:**

****

****

**hard-boiled:** can i participate

**haha-balls:** why not

**hard-boiled:** pure imagination by fiona apple, blackpink, and heather by conan gray

**haha-balls:** damn tiny egg you live like this?

**haha-balls:**

****

****

**a-homeless-pothead:** breezeblocks by alt-j, freak by doja cat, and michelle by sir chloe

**haha-balls:** take all my rights rn

**haha-balls:**

****

****

**haha-balls:** anyway i think thats everyone

**poached-or-fried:** waiwaiwait

**poached-or-fried:** dont be shy leon drop ur layout

**haha-balls:**

****

****

**an-actual-thug:** segsy

**bruhh-girl:** thats a nice layout!!

**poached-or-fried:** do you have an eye for this or something are you the ultimate twt layout maker

**haha-balls:** jfhdkhf no i just know what looks good together

**flower-thats-it:** if i ever decide to get twitter, may i use the layout you’ve given me?

**haha-balls:** yeah of course!! no credit needed, just dont explicitly say u made it :)

**flower-thats-it:** of course. thank you

**haha-balls:** :) !!

**a-homeless-pothead:** guysguysguysguysguys

**a-homeless-pothead:** news news big news i have news

**haha-balls:** woah woah what is it

**a-homeless-pothead:** i just did a reading for this one reserve course student

**a-homeless-pothead:** and he told me that he and a couple of his friends from the second years are setting up a festival to commemorate the school’s ten year anniversary

**a-homeless-pothead:** its gonna be set up just like the ones on the streets for new years

**a-homeless-pothead:** therell be music and stands and vendors and photobooths

**a-homeless-pothead:** and he’s letting a few of us set up our own stands there

**poached-or-fried:** hajime???

**poached-or-fried:** why didnt he tell me????

**poached-or-fried:** but aa im excited!!!!!!

**fine-line:** this sounds like a wonderful momentous occasion!! will there be a theme as to how we should dress or how the stands should be set up?

**a-homeless-pothead:** the theme this year is seasons, growth, and change, so says the headmaster

**fine-line:** excellent!! i shall try to find some seasonal themed outfits!

**a-homeless-pothead:** oh myuzu’s providing outfits for the ult course students!! he’s been sending his designs for them to some tailors that are learning under him so he can work on his own outfit for the festival

**fine-line:** oh! that’s wonderful!!

**bruhh-girl:** this will be so fun!!! i wonder if there’ll be any food stands selling donuts!!

**haha-balls:** knowing that one student teruteru, there probably will be

**bruhh-girl:** dfjsd im so excited!!!!!!!!!!!!

**tornado-hair:** this will be quite the occasion

**hard-boiled:** watch me crash the whole thing with beer bottles and a mercedes

**haha-tongue-go-brrr:** dont think im not taking u myself koma >:)

**hard-boiled:** i love my partner

**blues-clues:** hiro, how many stands did hajime say our class could set up there?

**a-homeless-pothead:** he said we can have a max of four unless something changes

**a-homeless-pothead:** i already have a fortune telling booth, so that leaves three spots open for you guys

**a-homeless-pothead:** if you want one, just tell me here and i can tell him which ones yall want

**a-homeless-pothead:** reminder that you’ll have to leave your last class early to set up your stand and get yourself ready

**a-homeless-pothead:** also make sure to have an idea of what you want your stand to look like. hope’s peak is funding all the supplies so theres no limit, but nothing giant like a disco ball or smth

**a-homeless-pothead:** oh and make sure that you submit your idea for the stand design to hajime or chiaki before next week’s thursday

**poached-or-fried:** thats like. nine days away, thats super close!! gahh im excited skdjfjd

**the-monopoly-man:** i think this is the most organized i’ve ever seen hiro.

**a-homeless-pothead:** ahaha can it monopoly man

**tornado-hair:** can the stands are their services be anything as long as they are school appropriate?

**a-homeless-pothead:** yeah more or less

**tornado-hair:** wonderful. i shall then request a stand where clients can play games of cards and chance with me.

**a-homeless-pothead:** okay, what are you charging for the games?

**tornado-hair:** pardon?

**a-homeless-pothead:** in order to play, people have to cough up the money.

**tornado-hair:** oh, this is glorious. i shall charge 500 yen per game.

**a-homeless-pothead:** alright, i’ll fill out your form. anyone else who wants a stand, come up and i’ll fill out your form for you

**blues-clues:** seeing as i’ll most likely stay with my lover, i’ll request a stand too. i’ll be writing poetry for people, 850 yen per poem

**a-homeless-pothead:** alright! i can also request for your stands to be next to each other’s if you want

**blues-clues:** that would be desired, thank you

**a-homeless-pothead:** that leaves two spots open, anyone wanna take them?

**a-homeless-pothead:** hajime requests that you submit your requests by the end of today so he can set up the roster

**flower-thats-it:** i would like to request a stand where i paint scenes for others. 2600 yen per painting.

**a-homeless-pothead:** alright, i’ll fill that out for you!

**a-homeless-pothead:** thats all the space we have though, so i’ll submit it to hajime and he’ll send you the directions for setting up your booths

**poached-or-fried:** this is gonna be so fun!!!!!!!!!

**the-monopoly-man:** this will certainly be interesting.

**walmart-vocaloid:** see its that tone that byakuya uses that puts me on edge about him and makes me worry for naegi

**poached-or-fried:** oh don’t worry, it’s not me you should worry about

**walmart-vocaloid:** what. does that mean

**poached-or-fried:** ;)

**haha-balls:** chuckles im in danger

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeaa new arc!!


	25. haha-balls: b bb boy p ppretty ,, . ,. ,

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the school festival awaits ~ ! what shall it have in store ?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> spoiler alert: its good or bad depending on your view
> 
> hhg h short chapter but i promise the festival one will be longer

**an-actual-thug:** anyone else super hyped for the festival or just me

**hard-boiled:** mondo that is the fifth consecutive message you’ve sent about the festival in the last hour, it is six in the goddamn morning shut up

**haha-balls:** don’t mind him he’s just excited because taka will be in a dress

**hard-boiled:** i can get behind that, toko’s cute in dresses too so i can understand

**hard-boiled:** but i swear if you start spamming the gc with festival hype i’m gonna take one of the glowing paper lanterns and shovel it down your throat

**fine-line:** hey! please do not threaten my boyfriend! he has done nothing wrong, please refrain from saying such things in the groupchat!

**hard-boiled:** of course you precious little bean i would do anything for you /p /p /very much p

**fine-line:** :)

**im-in:** hey taka idk if you know this but mondo just sighed dreamily and leaned back on the bed saying ‘that’s my angel’ in a soft voice

**fine-line:** .

**poached-or-fried:** uhhh im with taka to help him with organizing paperwork for the festival and he just did the exact same thing. just. leaned back with a soft sigh and swooned while saying ‘that’s my darling’

**im-in:** they really are soulmates huh

**haha-balls:** lmao you just realized

**a-homeless-pothead:** hey stand owners and organizers, come to the cafeteria for a bit i have something for yall

**a-homeless-pothead:** and before you ask no there’s no drugs in these aoi and toko both helped me make them and made sure that there were no drugs

**bruhh-girl:** thats right!!

**haha-tongue-go-brrr:** yeah

**blues-clues:** what is it?

**tornado-hair:** i am also curious.

**flower-thats-it:** oh. this is a pleasant surprise

**poached-or-fried:** daww hiro u made us hot cocoa??? thats so sweet omgs i cry

**fine-line:** this is such a kind gesture, hiro! thank you very much! poggers!

**blues-clues:** thank you, hiro :)

**tornado-hair:** it is a desirable beverage after working so long. thank you for this delightful surprise, hiro.

**a-homeless-pothead:** ah don’t mention it, ive been here forever i know how hard it is to finish organizing your own stand and helping with the festival, its the least i cld do

**poached-or-fried:** still, tysm hiro!!!!!!

**a-homeless-pothead:** :thumbs_up:

**haha-balls:** i. kdjfjkdjfkdkfkdkfjdkjfkjdkjfdkjfkdfjdkjfkdkfkdjfkdfjk

**a-homeless-pothead:** sigh what happened with myuzu now

**haha-balls:** asked me to look at his outfit. very pretty fall dress. on very pretty boy.

**hard-boiled:** a true gay panic in the raw

**haha-tongue-go-brrr:** yeah , ,

**haha-balls:** b bb boy p ppretty ,, . ,. ,

**a-homeless-pothead:** i know ur pain bro

**an-actual-thug:** sigh same

**fine-line:** i share this lament.

**poached-or-fried:** yep

**the-monopoly-man:** indeed.

**bruhh-girl:** smh the lesbians are rly the only ones who have anything under control

**hard-boiled:** we superior

**poached-or-fried:** shshshhut up its not my fault ur gf’s ex master has pretty eyes and a nice smile

**the-monopoly-man:** you. think my smile is. nice?

**poached-or-fried:** y. yh.

**the-monopoly-man:** .

**haha-tongue-go-brrr:** byakuya stop blasting electric love i can hear you just fine

**the-monopoly-man:** shut up i’m trying to project

**a-homeless-pothead:** well doesn’t that seem familiar

**an-actual-thug:** i literally do not care that you are dating my brother i will punch you so hard

**a-homeless-pothead:** bet

**fine-line:** hey now lets not fight, we need to get ready for the festival! it’s this afternoon!

**an-actual-thug:** someday hiro, theres gonna be a day when ur not so lucky

**a-homeless-pothead:** sure jan

☁

folding his outfit for the festival and placing it carefully and neatly in his bag, taka finished tying his boots and slung his bag over his shoulder, giddy and invigorated.

this was the first annual school festival he had ever attended, and it was all in a good eight hours.

hands flapping excitedly as he opened the door and almost skipped down the halls if it weren’t for the ‘no running in the halls’ policy he worked so hard to uphold.

meeting hiro at the end of the hall, the two chatted about the festival and what would be there, hiro occasionally mentioning how excited they were to be bringing daiya with them.

taka could only imagine how that would go.

as they walked into the classroom together, hiro headed off to their desk while taka gently kissed mondo’s forehead, to which the biker simply smiled gently for a moment.

“ morning , beautiful . “

taka smiled softly at the greeting . “ beautiful morning . “

“ it is now . “

the couple exchanged one last loving look before taka filed into his seat in front of mondo. feeling his boyfriend’s stare on his back, he didn’t know whether to feel secure or slightly flustered from how intently mondo was staring.

however, despite his excitement for the festival and his flusteredness at mondo’s gaze, he couldn’t allow himself to fall behind in his classes, so as soon as their teacher walked in, he was all ears.

what he didn’t know was that fate had a little something in store for him.

and his boyfriend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> da vinky??


	26. ULTRA MEGA SUPER DUPER ANNOUNCEMENT ~ ! ! ! ! !

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> not an update, but i have important news!

dear readers and supporters of 'ahogayism',

i'm proud to announce that a friend and i will be writing a danganronpa story together!! the title is currently undecided, but the premise will be a non - despair au where kiyotaka is a kindergarten teacher and mondo is a barista! this will be ishimondo centric, with ships like komahina, daiyiro, soniaki, and others to come! don't worry about the fate of ahogayism; i'll still be updating when i get the chance! the festival arc will not be abandoned! when we publish it, i'll be posting the link in this chapter's end notes. i hope you look forward to reading it once it's published!!

\- azalea


	27. THE FIC IS HERE!!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> still not an update, but good news!!

dear readers and supporters of 'ahogayism',

the fic from last chapter's announcement is finally here!! currently, we only have the prologue posted, but there will be an update sometime soon! titled 'let me speak to your manager', it'll be a heavy story with plot, fluff, and the usual dabbling of angst! you can find the link below!

happy reading!

\- azalea and clover !

* * *

fic: [let me speak to your manager](https://archiveofourown.org/works/27010804)

**Author's Note:**

> comments and kudos are greatly appreciated!!
> 
> charlie if ur reading this somehow u should get into dr


End file.
